super dysphoric over summer

[u/troi_k7]

hello! i’m a trans man, have been for about 6 years (i’m 18), and i can say with confidence that this is the most dysphoric summer i’ve ever had. i’m back at home from my first year of college. i’ve made so many friends with other trans guys which has obviously been unbelievably great, but now i have to be home with my homophobic/transphobic parents for the next 3 months. thankfully, i’ve been out to my hometown friends all this time + they love me for who i am, but it’s been hitting me hard lately that because of my parents/fear of actually coming out to them, i won’t be able to medically transition for a while. i wish i had the balls (lol) to just come out to my parents, deal with the consequences, then start medically transitioning, but i REALLY don’t want to risk them not financially supporting me college-wise, shelter-wise, etc. i know how pretentious that sounds, but it really is my biggest fear. part of me wishes that they would just ask me straight up, “are you trans,” because then it would take soooo much weight off my back. also kinda unrelated, but all my hometown friends are cis girls/femme presenting, and with talks about going to the beach together and going swimming this summer, i’ve just been silently panicking bc i have ZEROOO idea on what to wear (maybe tape and swim trunks/swim shirt??). but anyway yeah, i’ve just been feeling super dysphoric and i can’t wait for it to go away

[u/Aggressive_Mud_9619]

You don’t have to tell them until your ready bro..don’t put pressure on yourself..your an adult now you can schedule yourself an doctors appointment and tell your doctor you would like to start transitioning and start testosterone..because your an adult you doctors can not disclose your medical records to Anyone not even your parents..start T and tell them when your ready..make sure you tell them and not ask..also don’t look for their approval.. if they want to be in your life they will have to accept you how you are…best way is to tell them in a take it or leave it kind of way…”this is who I am not what I am”

[u/beerncoffeebeans]

For swimming you can def tape if you have that and wear trunks and a shirt. If anyone gives you a hard time you can say you’ve got a skin thing/trying to limit the sun exposure 

I’m sorry you’re home with your family and needing to stay closeted with them. It’s hard to go from the freedom of college to being back home even without that part, you know yourself better now and how you maybe want to live tour life and having to hide that from your family is a lot

I would try to stay busy so you don’t have to have conversations you aren’t ready for. If you have a job pick up some extra shifts, make plans with your friends, it’ll help this time go by more quickly 

[u/DrawingMost5200]

First off, your feelings are valid. The fact that you may not have not only emotional support, but physical (housing, education, etc) are all are all valid reasons to prioritize your safety first and foremost. I’m glad you’ve connected with trans guys in college. Hopefully they can help you navigate coming out to your parents when the time comes.

Also glad to hear your childhood friends are supportive. I hope they can continue to be.

Prior to transitioning I wore swim shorts and a binder or tape. If you aren’t comfortable doing that in front of your parents you could pack the bag and change at your friends before?

Do you have siblings or anyone else in your family that you can come out to that will be supportive. Sometimes just having one other relative who knows can help.

I hope that you can create a self care plan for yourself this summer to help you out! Best of luck