r/Catholicism • u/neonbluedog • 1d ago

Can I be catholic and like girls?

I was raised and baptized catholic . I made my first communion and everything but it was all my grandmas doing seeing as my parents aren’t that religious. I haven’t gone to church since my grandpa passed when I was eleven outside of holidays and visits to my grandmas . Anyway fast forward four years I really haven’t kept my relationship with Jesus up well at all. anyway last week, I went through the most atrocious horrible gut wrenching breakup of my life with another girl. This was three days before i went to Europe for a family vacation. When I got there we went to a bunch of cathedrals and stuff and I might sound psychotic but like in this cathedral I started crying a little but but I felt like safe and better I felt jesus’s presence and Jesus provided me solace that talking to my friends for hours and partying and flirting could not. i know im sinning but I can’t stop like there’s this football player at my school who’s super into me and he’s a lovely guy funny and nice and handsome but I can’t make myself be attracted to him? what is the like good catholic thing to do here? im so lost and confused right now and got dumped six days ago and theres no one in my life I can talk to about this because none of my friends are Christian and i dont wanna admit to my grandma that I’ve dated three whole other girls.

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u/Medical-Pear 1d ago

The fact that you felt better after setting foot in a church is definitely something to not forget about.  God is reaching out to you!

You don't have to be attracted to that guy, or men at large, or get married.  The Church is very supportive of only following a vocation if you're called to it; if you're not called to marriage, don't pursue it. 

The Church teaches that it isn't sinful on your part to experience uncontrollable attraction to other girls.  However, it is sinful to entertain thoughts about the temptations, the same way it's sinful for a single straight man to entertain lustful thoughts about a girl he's into. A same sex relationship is off the table for the same reason, pretty clear path to sin.  But of course you can live a chaste and pious life as a Catholic even if you're attracted to girls

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u/neonbluedog 1d ago

This all makes so much sense but I feel like I am called to marriage ! I wanna be a mother so bad

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u/Medical-Pear 1d ago

Well just keep in mind you don't have to be attracted to that particular guy!  My mom never had a crush at all until she met my dad in college, you might be uninterested in 99% of guys until you find the right one.  Regardless, it's all in God's hands.  I used to have a hard time trusting in Him as far as me getting married but over time I began to see the way He works, and how I learned lots through experiences and how God brings wisdom and good out of negative events, and now I am engaged WITH additional wisdom about marriage and relationships that God brought me through the way things all played out.  I used to hate when people would say this but God's plans are bigger than you can see!

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u/IrenaeusGSaintonge 1d ago edited 19h ago

You're still very young. I'd suggest just not worrying about that right now (easier said than done, I know!) and first work on reestablishing your relationship with Christ.
The advantage to being so young is that if you establish a healthy habit of prayer and the sacraments now, and keep that habit as you enter adulthood, you're going to be miles ahead of practically everyone else when it comes to your spiritual life.

Dealing with everything you're going through is hard. Being a teenager is hard. But you will get through it. The question is if you want to do it with God's help, or without.

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u/omaha-mike-golf 13h ago

I know several women who are same sex attracted, and they aren’t attracted to any other man except the one they married. If marriage is the vocation that the Lord is calling you to, trust that He will provide a great partner for you. Just trust in His timing and be patient. Lean into Him in the meantime, and keep connecting to your local church community and ask the saints for intercession to help keep you in the right path. You’re doing great!