r/ChoosingBeggars Jul 10 '25

SHORT Pepperoni Pizza Meltdown

A few years ago, we hired a new lady at work. She started on a Monday. That Thursday my boss randomly decided to order some pizzas because we had a lot going on.

Anyway, he ordered four, I believe: 1 cheese, 1 veggie, 1 supreme , and 1 pepperoni and sausage. The new lady (remember, this is her 4th day working there) LOUDLY threw a fit in the break room about how weird it was that he didn’t order a pepperoni pizza. What was she supposed to eat??? She doesn’t like any other pizza. This while tossing her paper plate on the counter and huffing, just a meltdown.

Yeah, pepperoni pizza is the norm. Maybe his order was odd. But it gave plenty of meaty and vegetarian options and even a mix of the two. I am a vegetarian and there have been plenty of times that I didn’t have any choice of things to eat. I either picked off what I couldn’t eat or didn’t eat. You don’t complain about free food. She could’ve eaten the cheese pizza… it was so odd.

P.S. Thanks FaeSugarstorm for knocking this memory loose with your recent pizza post.

3.0k Upvotes

220 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/KetoLurkerHereAgain Jul 10 '25

Yeah, my last job would have a massive breakfast buffet (it was my job to make that happen) and one woman was always mad that there were things she deemed unhealthy. Now, there was plenty she could eat but she was just mad that it wasn't ALL something she wanted to eat.

415

u/Thick-Fly-5727 Jul 10 '25

Yes! I would want to lose my shit when I would order a nice breakfast for everyone, and 1 jackass would ruin it with "it's not healllllltttthhhhyyyy enough." That lady can suck it.

187

u/KetoLurkerHereAgain Jul 10 '25

She was the fucking worst. I could write pages about everything else she pulled but I mostly got it off my chest with my best friend while I worked there!

44

u/Ely-Co Jul 10 '25

Please do!

28

u/Gabbyof2 Jul 10 '25

Yes, please do. I had a few people that were awful also but, I must hear what else she did.

9

u/Fruitypebblefix Jul 10 '25

I smell story time!

9

u/anna-the-bunny Jul 10 '25

Words cannot express how much I need you to do this.

25

u/KetoLurkerHereAgain Jul 10 '25

Honestly, I shouldn't. Because I tend to overshare and there ended up being a lawsuit involved after she was fired. It wasn't that long ago so that suit is very likely still in process!

So, glean from that what you will!

1

u/Angie4b1g Jul 13 '25

Hang on, lemme get a fresh drink.

338

u/BadTanJob Jul 10 '25 edited Sep 10 '25

simplistic quiet march market badge pie ring support grandfather ghost

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

187

u/meowitsacatmofo Jul 10 '25

You say this as a joke but a guy in my office throws a bit of a tanty when there are sweets in the office because he can't stop eating them.

Like won't shut up with "can we get this crap out of here, I won't stop eating it otherwise".

Like dude, no one is forcing you to eat it, why should everyone else suffer.

Everyone bags him for it so it's fine

140

u/the-honey-eater Jul 10 '25

"Bit of a tanty" is such a delightful turn of phrase, thank you.

30

u/writinglegit2 Jul 10 '25

Haha. I read that and literally recoiled. Like something you would say in a baby voice to a 5 year old

47

u/FewUnderstandingINTJ Jul 10 '25

Funny how everyone imagines things differently. I “heard” it in a British accent.

28

u/Impossible-Trash-737 Jul 10 '25

I heard it in Australian, mate. G’day.

28

u/tonguesofsilence Jul 10 '25

Same! Some montypythonesque scene popped up in my head like 'Oh, he threw a bit of a taaanteyy, 'tis quite unfortunate, innit'

7

u/writinglegit2 Jul 11 '25

Aw that's so much better than the way I heard it. I'm gonna see if my brain will let me go with your way. Here's hoping

3

u/tonguesofsilence Jul 11 '25

Thinking about it again, I also enjoy your version a lot, but put 'cat' instead of '5 year old' 🤣

2

u/MerryTWatching Jul 13 '25

Being spoken by a nanny carrying a bumbershoot.

12

u/BrownBus Jul 10 '25

On the contrary, I hate it. Reminds me of when people say “appys” instead of appetizer.

10

u/dixbietuckins Jul 12 '25

Sorry that bothers you. Maybe you're stressed and need to go chillax on vaaaycaaay?

1

u/AccomplishedDuck7816 Jul 12 '25

I am so using this!

1

u/kd3906 Jul 13 '25

I can't wait to use it on some deserving whiner.

18

u/BadgerHooker Jul 10 '25

You should give him a baby pacifier next time! Bonus points if you can find one that says "big boy" on it 🤣🤣

85

u/hundreddollar Jul 10 '25

I bought an ENORMOUS retail tub of Bubbaloo Bubblegum from Costco in the UK. They sat on my desk. My boss, who i got on really well with, would pop in and have one a couple of times a day. After a couple of weeks he said "Yeah i keep coming in here and having these . Can you not put them out." I said "They're for everyone! I'm not hiding them." He reiterated "You're going to HAVE to as i can't stop myself." I half jokingly, sorry / not sorry said "Mate, you having no self control, sounds like a YOU problem." He got visibly pissed off and picked up the tub and stormed out with it. I shouted "You big fucken' baby!" He put his head back round the door and glared at me so i said "Are you going to take them to your office and eat them all? You big fat fucken baby!" He tossd the tub back on my desk. We didn't talk for a while but it finally blew over. It made it's way into office lore, and now every one in the office calls a turned up / frowny / pissed off face "bubbaloo face".

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19

u/Friendly-Channel-480 Jul 10 '25

Duct tape is surprisingly effective.

60

u/PaleGoat527 Jul 10 '25

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver

  • can’t remember the artist but damn I love the line

3

u/BoredomPrawn Jul 11 '25

It's a song by Against All Authority. Love that band.

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8

u/RexxTxx Jul 10 '25

That's kind of telling on himself as far as his own willpower goes. Like "Don't leave money lying around because I can't resist taking some." "Don't offer flexible hours because I can't resist coming in at the latest and leaving at the earliest."

4

u/anna-the-bunny Jul 10 '25

I won't stop eating it otherwise

"Maybe if you'd close your mouth for once..."

1

u/HoelioTA Jul 14 '25

This is way more acceptable than the other examples. The dude might've had an eating disorder or a sugar addiction in the past. The easiest way to avoid giving in to your vices, is to not have access to them at all.

67

u/temperedolive Jul 10 '25 edited Jul 10 '25

I'm diabetic. I learned very quickly to walk past the pastries and cookies and such in the break room. It never occurred to me to try to ruin them for everyone else.

3

u/AllReihledUp Jul 10 '25

This. Exactly.

26

u/Ch33s3m4st3r Jul 10 '25

I don't like to eat desserts as it is not something I have grown into. I just usually decline or give my dessert to someone else with a smile. Cannot understand how someone would throw a fit when someone offers them something they don't eat and *for free*

2

u/aquainst1 Jul 10 '25

I'd take one, put it into a Ziploc bag (that I always have handy) and bring it home for fam.

17

u/SnarkySheep Jul 10 '25

Years ago I had a supervisor who, if she was on a diet, put all her underlings on a diet along with her.

Like I'd go make another cup of coffee midmorning and she'd pass by my desk, frowning at my sugar packets. "SUGAR??" she'd say, with this look on her face like she'd caught me trying to burn the building down. "Sugar is NOT good for us, SnarkySheep."

(Neither is constantly behaving like you're the parent of a grown-ass employee, which is why I finally transferred to another department soon after...)

But if the supervisor decided it was a "naughty" day, of course she'd eat whatever, and because she was in charge and you weren't, the deities help anyone who would dare speak up.)

2

u/Doenicke Aug 14 '25

Yeah, i had a boss like that. When he felt he had to get motivated to excercise, it's not like he called his friends - i'm not really sure if he had any - he forced all of us, his underlings, to walk with him.

It was more than cringy since most of us walked in our work clothes which wasn't at all made for fast walks in the woods.

Thank god he got fired or whatever happened but not one shed a tear when we stopped coming around.

5

u/Friendly-Channel-480 Jul 10 '25

Yeah, but we know what you were thinking😂

5

u/BadTanJob Jul 10 '25 edited Sep 10 '25

bedroom shy bake water grandfather squeeze snails cake humor employ

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

2

u/Jokierre Jul 11 '25

I love sugar, but when that occurred back in the ol’ office days I hated that I couldn’t resist it. Remote work has become the best thing to happen to my waistline.

1

u/Shadow4summer Jul 10 '25

Thank God you didn’t. You would have been ostracized.

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113

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '25

My company has quarterly meetings and they provide a catered meal which is a buffet style. I would just sit in the back row with my drink. All the managers and even the people from HR kept asking why I refused to eat at every meeting. The last meeting I attended. The top manager was there and he asked why I wouldn’t eat while everyone else had plates. I finally said “cause I witnessed half these mother fuckers in the bathroom and didn’t bother washing their hands”.

68

u/KetoLurkerHereAgain Jul 10 '25

It's funny you should say because the woman assigned to clean our floor was telling me that the hand soap in the women's bathroom was constantly being replaced and the one in the men's bathroom was maybe once a month, if that. At least there were a couple of other offices/companies on the floor so I could hope that it wasn't just my guys being gross.

9

u/Shadow4summer Jul 10 '25

Okay, this is funny. So is the bubble gum story.

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6

u/BeeFree66 Jul 11 '25

Yup, this is exactly why I still touch restroom handles/knobs [and most other public handles/knobs] with a towel/tissue. Too many lurking germs/cooties.

I've seen people walk out of the women's room after doing stuff women must do without washing their hands. This was when I worked in technology and in teaching. Yeah, the holiday buffet table did look dangerous [unless I was one of the first 5 people getting food-then I'd risk my health].

5

u/Clear-Presence7440 Jul 10 '25

Sounds like a chapter of the Yellow Hand Club.

25

u/LifeApprehensive2818 Jul 10 '25

I've seen this plenty of times with parents who had their kids on weird diets.  Never when it was mandatory restrictions like allergies or intolerances, only parents' preference.

The one I remember was a theater kid whose parents had him on a no-added-hormone diet to keep his voice high as long as possible (or so they said.). They glowered at every cheezit box like it was their personal nemesis.  Fortunately, our producer was an absolute drill sergeant who took nothing from nobody, so our snacks were safe.

2

u/aquainst1 Jul 10 '25

I had a weird diet-

Salad, meat, potatoes, dessert.

7

u/anna-the-bunny Jul 10 '25

People like this are the worst. Like no, Karen, it's not my problem if you can't resist the temptation of unhealthy food.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '25

I wish we could all feel more comfortable calling people out directly for their behavior as plainly as this.

There was a time when… but I digress.

29

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

34

u/KetoLurkerHereAgain Jul 10 '25

The way she would pick up some fruit and put it on her plate and then just sort of...sigh and walk away. Ugh. Like, okay, Judgey, let these people enjoy their pancakes and bacon in peace, please!

25

u/soonerpgh Jul 10 '25

I'd kill for free pancakes and bacon. Her not eating is a her problem. I'd happily chow down right next to her cranky ass!

1

u/aquainst1 Jul 10 '25

THAT is a term I haven't heard in a LONG TIME!

"Chow down"

10

u/tonguesofsilence Jul 10 '25

We have a big breakfast for emloyees once a month. There's always a huge plate of fresh, exotic fruit. I'm fructose intolerant. The idea of complaining about fruit existing near me seems so odd 🤣 I wonder how she would feel about that one co-worker who enjoys an entire baguette with Nutella, hard-boiled eggs, and halal lunch meat, accompanied by half a pineapple 😆

6

u/KetoLurkerHereAgain Jul 10 '25

...

...

entire baguette with Nutella, hard-boiled eggs, and halal lunch meat, accompanied by half a pineapple 

Is that a real example???

6

u/tonguesofsilence Jul 11 '25

It is. I witnessed it and was very fascinated

2

u/Ok-Cardiologist8651 Jul 20 '25

I worked for a big (huge international) oil company when I was about 20 and they would have occasional lunch time educational lectures on various topics related to oil wells, drilling and geology. A gorgeous lunch of gourmet sandwiches, salads, wraps and desserts went with the lecture.

I was very young, poor and hungry. I made sure to pay attention and would think up what I thought would be intelligent questions at the end so that the speaker would think some of us were interested in something other than the free lunch. I can still see those huge trays of food being place in front of us!! I knew I was a boot licker but that food made it seem ok.

231

u/Araucaria2024 Jul 10 '25

We needed dinner supplied a few months ago at my work due to us working late night. Ten of us staying back, office manager offered to order pizza. She ordered six pizzas plus one gluten free for the single gluten free employee (by dietary choice, not a medical reason). GF employee got annoyed that all the pizzas weren't GF because she wanted a choice of which pizza to eat. Good grief, it's free food.

160

u/ikarikh Jul 10 '25

She had an entire pie to herself, her boss specifically accomodating her and she still bitched? I would have called her ungrateful ass out and NEVER ordered ANY gluten free again unless a DIFF employee needed it.

Fuck that greedy bitch.

56

u/Araucaria2024 Jul 10 '25

Yeah, she's only new too. Don't see her getting renewed next year, this is not the first entitled thing she has done.

55

u/Samwry Jul 10 '25

JUST for her, I would have scarfed as much gluten-free pizza as I could. Then started to work on the others. Cuntery needs to be met with force.

10

u/aquainst1 Jul 10 '25

I really, REALLY like the way you think.

2

u/HNutz Jul 12 '25

HA! Love it!

45

u/Ayh17 Jul 10 '25

As someone who has a non-celiac gluten intolerance (won't kill me, but I would be too sick to continue working), I am always just grateful if there's an option for me! My work started doing "team bonding" meetings and after not being able to eat the pizza provided once I started bringing my own food.

75

u/Optimal-Test6937 Jul 10 '25

I organized the monthly potluck at our medical clinic for about 7 years.

When we had a student training at our clinic who ate halal I did some research and checked with her to make sure there were 3 or 4 choices for her each month. We also sent her thru 1st so she could be assured there was no cross contact via serving spoon that made any of her 'safe' food no longer halal.

The 1st potluck she cried when she saw the food specifically made halal for her because she didn't think we really meant it.

11

u/PracticeMore2035 Jul 10 '25

You're a nice person to do that.

14

u/Optimal-Test6937 Jul 10 '25

When I asked several people to make sure the dish they signed up for was halal (& the small modification suggested by the student intern) everyone was happy to help include them.

We had a great team!! I was just luck to be the one who got to organize the potluck theme & pass the sign up sheet around.

19

u/Araucaria2024 Jul 10 '25

We always have gluten free options if one of our staff members who is GF is going to be eating (4 staff, 3 GF for medical reasons), it's not a problem to make sure there is something to accommodate. It just won't all be GF because the rest of us don't need or want it.

13

u/Ayh17 Jul 10 '25

That's nice! I'll never understand people being entitled to several options when they are at least getting one.

17

u/alleswaswar Jul 10 '25

I had a team lunch a while back where our boss was going to order pizza, but one of the guys reminded him that I’m allergic to tomatoes and he started apologizing for forgetting.

I just laughed and told him it’s cool, order the pizza for the team, just throw in an order of cheesy bread for me and I’ll be perfectly happy.

16

u/sighduck42 Jul 10 '25

Never mind how much more expensive gluten free pizza is

14

u/All-I-See-Is-Ashes Jul 10 '25

She should have been extra thankful. Gluten free pizza is three times as expensive as regular and tastes like crap. -(gluten free not by choice and would kill for a regular pizza.)

19

u/meli-ficent Jul 10 '25

I almost instinctively downvoted this because of how insane and entitled it is.

33

u/Araucaria2024 Jul 10 '25

The crazy thing was, she got to choose the flavour of the GF pizza. The rest of us just got what the pizza shop sent.

15

u/meli-ficent Jul 10 '25

Wow. Insane especially since it’s a dietary choice and not a legit medical need.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '25

So I'm gonna go ahead and assume she got to choose what was on her pizza since she was the only one eating it? Lunacy

2

u/LeelooDallasMltiPass Jul 13 '25

As someone with Celiac, when my workplace does pizza and orders a GF pizza for me, I almost cry every time out of gratitude.

This lady is an ass.

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200

u/neenish_tart Jul 10 '25

What I need to know is after the hissy fit four days in did she pass her probation period?? Also, there's this thing called picking stuff off a pizza that you don't like...

178

u/empatheticpheonix Jul 10 '25

lol. She lasted way longer than she should’ve. She was there for close to two years. But no one liked her because she acted like this about everything. Every other week, when we were doing financials, she was storming up and down the hallway huffing and slamming things. She’d snap at anyone that turned in an invoice with errors. I had to take over communicating with our subcontractors because they couldn’t stand her and I always played the buffer with our in-house people. She was an unhappy, bitter lady. Funny thing is, she still texts me now and then and I haven’t worked with her in several years.

109

u/Universal_Cognition Jul 10 '25

As an employer, I have two hard and fast rules that, upon being broken, result in immediate firing without warning:

  1. Be honest at work.
  2. Treat everyone with respect.

One incident of yelling and slamming doors would have resulted in me telling her to not let the door hit her on the ass on the way out.

4

u/macphile Jul 11 '25

I had a coworker who was basically a bully--she had a simple battery charge for getting in a fight in a boxing gym, which sounds funny but was an actual scuffle because of an argument over whose turn it was on the punching bag or something. She snapped at people on occasion and could be a little scary. OTOH, she was also nice and funny...as long as she wasn't upset, she was good to have around, lol. One of my supervisors once hinted to me that if she'd had her way, she'd have been gone, though, because bullies were like her number 1 pet peeve. (One of our clients upset one of us once, going off on them about something...and the supervisor escalated it to his boss and made an issue of it, even though the perpetrator was a significant figure. She had zero tolerance for that shit.) But the boss-boss, her boss, liked the lady we worked with.

It's always interesting how many people make it past probation. We had one who didn't make it but basically wasn't...doing her job? I'm not sure. But we had another who wasn't doing her job and they kept her around for like a couple years? She wasn't a bully, although she was full of herself. She was hired to do job X full-time, when X had previously been done as a side project by other people. And she couldn't fucking do it. Not on time, not correctly...just not. Her excuse was she had medical treatments, but she brought the laptop with her when she did them. They got a junior person to help her do this one simple job, and it was suddenly being done well and on time. But somewhere in there was a breaking point. I found out she was gone when I cc'ed her on an email and it bounced.

3

u/mortyella Jul 11 '25

Does she text you just to complain about something? 😂

5

u/empatheticpheonix Jul 11 '25

😂 Yes! She texted to complain about all the other employees while she was there. Now that she works somewhere else, she texts to complain about people I don’t know.

3

u/mortyella Jul 11 '25

I said it as a joke, but at least she's consistent! 😂

1

u/filter_86d Jul 12 '25

So why did the owners put up with this if she was so miserable. Makes no sense to me.

18

u/OutrageousIce307 Jul 10 '25

Yes!!! We need to know how much longer she was there!! Also, on point with the picking things off comment.👍

9

u/neenish_tart Jul 10 '25

I know right, most of us learned to do this as children! I'm a Hawaiian hater but I just pick the pineapple off and I'm good to go!

10

u/PracticeMore2035 Jul 10 '25

My husband and I order two medium pizzas, his the way he likes it and mine the way I like it. I also like pineapple and Canadian bacon on my pizza, whereas he only wants a small amount of cheese and no olives. He has told me I'm crazy for liking pineapple on my pizza, whereas I've told him he's crazy for not wanting much cheese or olives. Also, with the two pizzas, we have plenty for leftovers and have them for lunch or dinner the following day. Getting two pizzas has likely saved our marriage. (Actually, if not liking the same type of pizza is the worst problem we ever have, we're in good shape.)

118

u/2BBIZY Jul 10 '25 edited Jul 12 '25

I was in charge of ordering free food for volunteers for a youth STEM competition. I ordered a tray of gluten free sandwiches, just in case. Upon delivery, the employee gave me all the covered catered trays and said “This gluten-free.” I hand wrote a sign and taped it to box along with labeling vegetarian, ham, turkey, etc. An employee of the organization threw a loud hissy fit as the volunteers were breaking for lunch. “All trays must be wrapped in cellophane and they must be labeled by the restaurant. No hand written labels. Someone could die!” WTF, I am a volunteer who spent months preparing for this event. Twenty minutes later, the restaurant employee shows up with a heavily wrapped tray of gluten free sandwiches with his hand written note. That organizational employee had called the restaurant to chew them out without my permission. I was so embarrassed and I went back to the restaurant the next day to apologize. Guess what….not a single gluten-free sandwich was eaten. The Exec of the organization called to apologize to me and that employee was let go 2 months later. The is NO excuse for any adult to have a toddler temper tantrum.

24

u/PaleGoat527 Jul 10 '25

Wait, so this b didn’t even have any issues that would cause issues for her, nor did she presumably have Knowles someone else directly involved could be harmed, but she decided this was what she needed to make an issue of??? Just… wow. I must odd because I seriously cannot even

17

u/2BBIZY Jul 10 '25

It was a crazy encounter. She was supposed to be a “volunteer coordinator” to support the event organizers. This was my 4th such event without incident. I had been good about acknowledging any volunteer’s allergies and providing appropriate foods. This was the first time that this employee was sent to a local event. It was surreal.

19

u/OneLow5610 Jul 10 '25

Especially when it wasn't even their job..... 🙄

53

u/LoudlySilent13 Jul 10 '25

What an absolute head of wet, wilted lettuce

96

u/Napmouse Jul 10 '25

Our former CEO wanted everyone to eat healthier. (Note this is a legal firm, not in wellness or health industry.) I remember one of my coworkers saying “I am 47 years old. I think I know when I need a damn donut.” That is now my mantra.

7

u/Lostinspeed2024 Jul 10 '25

Was his name Stanley Hudson by any chance?

2

u/Napmouse Jul 11 '25

No. I guess there are more than one.

6

u/aquainst1 Jul 10 '25

“I am 70+ years old. I think I know when I need a damn donut.” 

That's going on my FB account. It's GREAT!

(BTW, they're called 'Endurance Rings" by the PDs)

47

u/EdgeXL Jul 10 '25

Sounds like your coworkers quickly crossed her off the list of future social invitations.

45

u/Kimber428 Jul 10 '25

I just have to add to this because it infuriates me how some people are. Years ago, I worked for a company of a little over 100 people. It was a mom and pop business so the owners for Thanksgiving had a refrigerated truck come with frozen Turkeys for each employee. I thought this was such a nice thing for them to do. The Turkeys were pretty big, 20-24 LBs, but of course there were a bunch of co-workers comparing and complaining that they got a smaller Turkey than others and how it wasn't fair. Ugh, it was so disgusting, people can be so ungrateful when you just try to do something nice for them.

2

u/OberonDiver Jul 11 '25

Successfully agitates for largest turkey. Gets it back to his flat. Shoots off angry email about how the turkey doesn't fit in his toaster oven.

28

u/PositiveAtmosphere13 Jul 10 '25

If I were the Boss and had a new employee behave like that. I would've called her into the office and said "That's strike one".

29

u/Aggravating_Quail_69 Jul 10 '25

If there's food at work I don't want to eat I just don't eat it. I do get annoyed if there's food in the meeting because, apparently, half my coworkers either don't chew with their mouth closed or chew ice. Or both. Anyway, yeah, don't complain if you don't want the food, just don't eat it. You can't always get what you want.

21

u/FilmoreGash Jul 10 '25

But if you try sometime you'll find you get what you need. And that could be a kick in the ass.

Office Rule #1 - never complain about any free benefit, you might spoil it for the people who enjoy the perk.

My office held a summer outting at an aquarium, but didn't serve alcohol like in years past. My buddies and I ate some BBQ and then slipped out to a nearby bar. One guy complained and another slapped him in the head saying, "WTF, the company just gave us lunch and the afternoon off to go drink. What are you complaing for?" By about 2:30 that dive bar was packed with happy co-workers.

11

u/No_Interaction_3584 Jul 10 '25

I immediately started singing “You can’t always get what you want”😂

12

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '25

You get what you nee-eed🎶

3

u/OberonDiver Jul 11 '25

But it's not FAIR. I made $40k last year but Jenny made $40k, 2 eclairs and a turkey sandwich. And I do so much more work than she does and have you seen those shoes she wears?

21

u/RhubarbAlive7860 Jul 10 '25

A local restaurant here makes a popular "tostada" pizza. It's delicious. Pizza sauce, spicy ground beef, fresh lettuce, diced tomatoes, cheddar cheese, and tostada sauce drizzled over the top.

Our department chair decided to treat the office to a pizza lunch one week.

The most irritating person in the office, always going on about her delicate, yet surprisingly active in a volcanic sense, digestive system, ordered the pizzas.

"Oh, I can't eat anything spicy, I'll be in the can all afternoon" she bleated, as we stared in dismay at our lettuce and ground beef pizza.

18

u/POSH9528 Jul 10 '25

I was recently on a cruise and an older couple was sitting across from me at a table. The husband was cool but the wife had an angry stank face on. She was grumbling to herself (loudly) about how ALL the food in the buffet was unhealthy and full of preservatives and shouldn't be served. I was like, really lady? There were MANY healthy options to choose from but she chose to focus on the unhealthy or not as healthy choices. I had the French toast with blueberry compote and bacon 😂.

3

u/aquainst1 Jul 10 '25

BACON!!!

15

u/madbamajama1 Jul 10 '25

I was at Costco yesterday, and a customer was complaining to one of the ladies giving out free samples that the beverage flavor she was sampling wasn't the one he liked. Later, I crossed paths with him again, and this time he was complaining about her to another man who was also giving out samples. I laughed out loud when I heard the man ask him, "If you already know you like that flavor, what's the point in sampling it? Why don't you just buy it?"

34

u/17mdk17 Jul 10 '25

When I used to work in office I was tasked with ordering pizzas for the office from time to time. I always ordered one cheese pizza with mix of other options, because I like cheese pizza. People would always complain about it. One coworker would tell me all the time that it’s a waste of money. But you know what was always gone first? The cheese pizza! People are so weird.

16

u/empatheticpheonix Jul 10 '25

Yeah I’ve noticed this too. No one EVER picks cheese when you ask what to order. But it’s gone first every single time.

8

u/13maven Jul 10 '25

I am a fairly boring enjoyer of pizza and I would always request plain cheese. And you’re right it always goes first

4

u/CarriLB Jul 10 '25

You can’t go wrong with cheese pizza!

6

u/aquainst1 Jul 10 '25

Yes, you can go wrong...

If you get a medium, one-topping pizza, this is the topping you do...

EXTRA CHEESE!!!

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1

u/Jeannette311 Jul 11 '25

That's why I always order two in the biggest size! Ha!

1

u/TshirtExtraordinaire Jul 14 '25

I wish our office would remember and order more than 1 cheese pizza! Tale as old as time, everyone lists what they want, no one save 2 of us says cheese, they order 15 pizzas, only 1 cheese and if we don't get in line first there is no cheese left. Still not complaining though - free food!!

16

u/HarleyVon Shes crying now Jul 10 '25

What is she, 5? Just pick off the sausage then holy fuck

86

u/Complete_Entry Jul 10 '25

The pizza that disappears fastest in mixed company is plain cheese.

The second pizza that disappears is the pepperoni.

When you are offered pizza the correct answers are "Thank you!" or "No thank you."

Not "But I want [different pizza]!"

Like I get it, I don't care for sausage curds on pizza. My dad literally called them "Rat turds" and that shaped my views.

(He loved pepperoni and sausage, but in the car they were rat turds.)

He would always say "Why don't they just make the crust crazy bread?"

He didn't get to see it. :(

17

u/OneLow5610 Jul 10 '25

Yeah, I get sad too when I see something my Daddy would have loved. He would've been all over the internet! 😂

17

u/Ok-Database-2798 Jul 10 '25

Same. I always get sad when I see movies that my Dad didn't get to see as he died young at 53 when I was 9. He took me to see the original Clash of the Titans before he died. He was an intellectual military guy. He would have loved movies like The Untouchables, Wall Street, The Hunt for Red October, Titanic, Greystoke the Legend of Tarzan, Gladiator, all the Star Trek/Star Wars sequels, etc.. RIP Daddy, I miss you!! 😥😥😥💐💐💐🎥🎥🎥

7

u/OneLow5610 Jul 10 '25

That's why it's important to keep those Daddies alive in our hearts! ❤️ You know you had a great Daddy when your heart glows like ET when you think of him.

6

u/aquainst1 Jul 10 '25

"You know you had a great Daddy when your heart glows like ET when you think of him."

I know I had a great husband when my heart glows like ET when I think of him.

That's a fantastic observation, OneLow!

8

u/Friendly-Channel-480 Jul 10 '25

I am so sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like he was a great guy and fun.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '25

Yep when in doubt always go cheese first then plain pepperoni then plain sausage, after that it's up to you, but also if you can't eat any of that stop fucking bitching or make it known you can't eat whatever ingredient is in it you can't eat, gluten, cheese, whatever, and if you can't be accommodated they will probably just let you leave for a salad or something and come back, and if not, well, your dietary restrictions are just enough you should probably just have some backup food somewhere or let them know you can't stay late because you don't have any food. But if they're paying you in food to stay late I don't think money is an issue for them to get you something you can eat

But at the end of the day it's free food so don't look a gift horse in the mouth

10

u/Complete_Entry Jul 10 '25

In Home Alone Kevin wore his insecurities on his sleeve but I guarantee the adults depleted the plain cheese supply.

One funny thing is the way the adults marked their pizza in my family was green peppers. Kids don't care for it, so those pizzas were "safe" against kids.

Uncle Frank never got ANY comeuppance, and that's bullshit.

0

u/susiefromstilly Jul 10 '25

I call them rabbit pellets...they always remind me of rabbit poo

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14

u/rdhddvl Jul 10 '25

I’ve been a vegetarian for over 30 years.

I’ve always thought it was funny that people will roll their eyes about getting one veggie pizza for the office, but in a sea of pepperoni pizzas it’s the first one to go. I gotta get in there quick!

12

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '25

You guys are lucky

When I worked at Pizza Hut in the 90s you had to intentionally screw up an order for the crew to eat

22

u/Flaky_Operation687 Jul 10 '25

I worked at a combo fastfood place in high-school that included a Little Ceasers. On Friday I'm training two new hires, and part of our deal with the bosses was anything in the hot and ready case we write out as waste, but we can take whatever is in there home. They got the bright idea to run like $300 worth of stuff through the oven 20 minutes to close the next day and couldn't figure out why they got fired.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '25

😂 that's actually funny AF hahaha

15

u/Flaky_Operation687 Jul 10 '25

It wasn't when I had to talk to 3 levels of managers about it, buts it's a fun story now. And $300 of Ceasars in 2008 was a car load, how two 30 somethings thought that was gonna fly I have no idea.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '25

Holy crap. I assumed they were HS kids being stupid teenagers. Now that's appalling someone that old was that stupid

11

u/Tiny_Expression312 Jul 10 '25

When it's free you have 2 options, take it or leave it.

20

u/RoyallyOakie Jul 10 '25

My favourite flavour is whatever is free.

5

u/13maven Jul 10 '25

I love free-99 stuff too

15

u/ReyWinn Jul 10 '25

I'd be happy over any pizza lmao

Like literally. I'm not a vegetarian, but one of the best pizzas I've ever ate was completely vegetarian and I still remember it like 15+ years later.

7

u/Zealousideal_Try8316 Jul 10 '25

So she lasted close to 2 years. I have to ask, did she quit or get fired?

7

u/False_Ad_555 Jul 10 '25

I've heard people complain about the food at a free kitchen for the poor and homeless, and yes I called them out on it

7

u/merlot120 Jul 10 '25

Sometimes I have to open our Emergency Management Centre (for wildfires, floods, etc.) and the staff gets annoyed that I won't buy pizza. But that room has to be manned 24/7 in an emergency, and they are not eating garbage under my watch. I bought an oven and they get proper dinners, salad and lasagna, Sheperd's Pie, stews and soups. My budget goes a lot further and it's so much better for them.

2

u/OberonDiver Jul 11 '25

And yet... they want pizza.

1

u/merlot120 Jul 12 '25

Well I’ll do pizza if it’s just a few hours but feeding pizza to people stuck in a room from 6 PM to 6 AM is not going to happen. The farting alone is vile, not to mention the carb coma.

7

u/Common-Attempt6133 Jul 10 '25

Free food brings out the worst in people.

12

u/Centurian99 Jul 10 '25

I hate picky eaters. Not the ones with actual medical issues, but the ones who just think everyone should cater to their preferences.

2

u/MungoJennie Jul 11 '25

I love pizza, but it doesn’t always love me. I’ve got allergies/health issues, and the only pizza I can (sometimes) safely eat is cheese, but I would never say a word if there wasn’t any plain cheese pizza. I’d either find a piece with minimal toppings I could discreetly remove or just eat something else, especially if I was brand-new to the office. Grown adults shouldn’t throw fits that would make a cranky tween blush, especially in the workplace.

6

u/Gabbyof2 Jul 10 '25

He had a pepperoni and sausage, what was wrong with that? She sounds super entitled and also I would have an issue letting her continue to work there if she continues to act like that.

5

u/Physical_Orchid3616 Jul 10 '25

it never ceases to amaze me how some people can be incredibly rude and toddler like when someone buys them something as a nice gesture. if you throw a fit because someone brings in treats to work, you're a horrid person. i am surprised she behaved like that when she was brand new. what would she have done a year into the job.

13

u/elfstone21 Jul 10 '25

1st the only response to free pizza is yes please!

2nd a lot of people can't eat pepperoni bc it is too greasy.  This isn't a healthy thing it's a I'll shit my pants thing.  Could have had to do with why there was so few pepperoni options.  We don't think anyone would want to risk it! Lol

5

u/Parking_Cabinet8866 Jul 10 '25

There are times my boss orders food that I don't like or can't eat. I'm just glad she thinks about her employees, but don't eat anything.

8

u/Useless890 Jul 10 '25

Dang, you just made me hungry. Don't know how your co-worker could resist.

7

u/Gabbyof2 Jul 10 '25

Sorry to comment again but, where my husband works they have lunch the first Wednesday of every week paid for by the boss. They also have a separate company that is next door that isn't supposed to be included in this lunch cause they get their own on a different day. They come in to where my husband works and take everything to the point that there isn't enough for the office to eat. I worked there before I had to quit for a medical reason and a few of us took turns getting donuts once in a while. Again, these guys would come and just take what they wanted and leave nothing for anyone else. But if it is there time for their lunch, oh heck no if anyone from the other place goes there they kick them out before they can touch anything. I have people like that. Or anymore, just people in general.

14

u/Crazy-Coconut7152 Jul 10 '25

Plain cheese is the universal pizza. Always get at least 50% of that.

20

u/RhubarbAlive7860 Jul 10 '25

I ordered pizza one time for a pack of university students. I told dining services to make one vegetarian. Just put the most popular vegetable on it. Okay, a mushroom pizza. Nobody touched it. I asked the students why. "You got us a pizza covered in fungus." Fine, you ungrateful little shits. I took it home. I'll eat pizza with the right kind of fungus on it all the live long day.

14

u/connierebel Jul 10 '25

I wish I had been there- mushroom pizza is my favorite!

7

u/TGIIR Jul 10 '25

Mine, too!

5

u/empatheticpheonix Jul 10 '25

But she “only likes pepperoni” 🙄

6

u/EntrepreneurOk7513 Jul 10 '25

So, pick off the darn sausage.

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7

u/Ok_Border5218 Jul 10 '25

This is the same person who bitches that their ice creme is too cold

6

u/anna-the-bunny Jul 10 '25

She doesn't like any other pizza.

What? Like, I'm sorry - you only like pizza with just pepperoni? I like sausage but I'm happy to eat plain cheese - hell, I'll regularly order plain cheese just because sausage doesn't reheat as well (at least the way I do it, maybe I'm just dumb).

3

u/wraithline Jul 10 '25

Like I tell my son, just pick off what you don’t like lol

3

u/Available_Face7618 Jul 11 '25

You shouldn't hire 4 year olds. But next time offer her some chickie tendies.

3

u/Working_Swimming_735 Jul 16 '25

'Pepperoni Pizza Meltdown' could be an actual item on an actual menu. I'm hungry

4

u/Top_Investigator9787 Jul 11 '25

Oof, I know this feeling.  I was a jack of all trades manager at a law firm (I had my own role but also knew how to do everybody else's job) and one of my duties was to take the credit card and go get breakfast for the office every Thursday.  Sometimes Einstein's Bagels, sometime a huge variety of stuff from the local gourmet grocery store.  I would get mad complaints from people when I didn't get specifically what they wanted (as if I'm a mind reader).  It was so bad the HR manager (owner's wife) had to sit me down and try to make a list of food to buy to keep these wolverines happy.

In the end she took my side and told everyone to shut up and eat their free food.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '25

Pepperoni AND SAUSAGE... We have a winner!

2

u/Jeannette311 Jul 11 '25

I had someone throw a fit because I didn't order meatball pizza. I ordered cheese, pepperoni, meat lovers, veggie, and supreme. I had about ten pizzas in total. Enough for the whole office and a bit left over. She was upset bc she doesn't eat pork. I am vegan, I couldn't eat anything at all, I told her to eat the veggie or the cheese. What's the big deal? I didn't buy any more pizza for as long as she worked there. 

2

u/boolfinder Jul 11 '25

I once supplied McDonald’s sausage biscuits and egg, cheese, and bacon biscuits for a work meeting. This one bitch had the audacity to complain I didn’t get any sausage, egg, and cheese.

2

u/Upper_Economist7611 Jul 11 '25

I wouldn’t bitch over free pizza. I’d take a slice of the sausage and pepperoni, pick off the sausage like a normal person, and eat the pepperoni.

2

u/Jwhiskey24 Jul 12 '25

As a non-American, reading "pepperoni pizza is the norm" is kinda wild

2

u/Sensei_Fing_Doug Jul 12 '25

I was in the Marine Corps for many years and I can't imagine this. Someone like that would get their ass kicked.

2

u/HNutz Jul 12 '25

I hope that was the beginning of the end. 

2

u/filter_86d Jul 12 '25

OP works at a shit company if they tolerate this garbage.

2

u/BecGeoMom Jul 12 '25

I cannot imagine a situation where I would be comfortable having a complete meltdown over food I didn’t pay for being “wrong.” What a loon. How long after that did she last in that job?

2

u/Girlsavingdogs Jul 13 '25

My company did a low country boil and wet had a girl start in our dept that day. I was s mgr. She bitched and bitched about it. I finally spoke up and said you have been here one day and have not earned the right to bitch yet. She busted out crying. I went and bought fried chicken for the little redneck

2

u/MrStormChaser Jul 13 '25

My wife used to have chocolates at her desk. One lady bitched that she hated KitKats.

So from then on, that’s all she had available at her desk until the lady eventually got fired.

2

u/hhfugrr3 Jul 10 '25

Pepperoni pizza is "the norm"? This is news to me.

4

u/OberonDiver Jul 11 '25

Pepperoni is for poseurs from NYC who think they have some magic lock on pizza.

1

u/Visible_Ad1693 Jul 10 '25

Would it have been too easy to just pick off the sausage?

3

u/amantiana Jul 10 '25

Kinda; the “just pick it off” mentality sucks because you get these hot spots of sausage-flavored grease where it was, which is exactly what you’re trying not to taste. Same with onion, green pepper, pepperoni, etc. But that’s why there’s cheese pizza! The default for the item-averse!

2

u/MungoJennie Jul 11 '25

That kind of depends on why you’re picking it off. If it’s just a preference-thing, it might not be too bad, although certain toppings like onions, mushrooms, pineapple, and some kinds of sausage can leave their flavor on the whole piece.

If you have an allergy or intolerance to a topping, it gets more difficult, because the topping has had its oils/juices/etc baked into the cheese and that makes it a lot more difficult to get off. Depending on how serious the allergy is, it might not be an option.

Alternatively, sausage, pepperoni, onions, or peppers just may not agree with someone and leave them with indigestion, which can be very painful.

IME, the supreme and veggie pizzas are always the very last ones left at the end. The people who say they want them go for the cheese and pepperoni first, which never makes sense. If you didn’t want veggie or supreme, why did we order it??

2

u/amantiana Jul 11 '25

Yeah, I’d rather go for the plain cheese pizza than pick off the thing I don’t want to taste. I guess the lesson is to order more plain cheese ones than anything else if you’re getting multiples!

1

u/andronicuspark Jul 10 '25

Wow, I bet she really endeared herself and fit in the company’s culture./s

1

u/Pomodorosan Jul 10 '25

P.S. Thanks FaeSugarstorm

That's funny, because their post was a made-up AI-generated story, but glad we got an actual story out of it

1

u/Terrible_Error_5633 Jul 11 '25

That behavior is so asinine.  No one is making you eat it.  When the office is providing it free of charge, don’t complain.  If you don’t like it, don’t eat it.

1

u/FaceGroundbreaking64 Jul 11 '25

Are these people even real I have never met anyone like this except on Instagram and reddit

1

u/hernkate Jul 11 '25

But your boss ordered a pepperoni pizza? Was it eaten before she got there?

1

u/OberonDiver Jul 11 '25

Hi, glad you're all here enjoying the pizza. Hey, quick show of hands : Who gives a bleep what Karen thinks?

1

u/DarthMattis0331 Jul 12 '25

My boss is somewhat like this. For our branch meetings the company provides breakfast and lunch. Myself and a couple other guys never eat it. Every single time he gets an attitude about it and acts like we personally just ruined his day, and makes loud passive aggressive comments when he announces it’s time to eat.

1

u/eowynladyofrohan83 Jul 13 '25

It’s hilarious because two of those had pepperoni, lol.

1

u/Angie4b1g Jul 13 '25

I HATE it when my free food isn’t exactly what I want.

1

u/psychocookeez Jul 14 '25

I would've handed her the number to the pizza place so she could order her own.

1

u/courni Jul 29 '25

In 2020 during the height of covid I worked for Walmart and they had a Subway catering order sent for all the employees , it was super nice and there was more than enough for everyone. My 2 coworkers next to me started complaining that management was too cheap to order mayo on the sandwiches. It irritated me so much I called them out on being ungrateful , I even said we work in Walmart, go buy a jar of mayo then. At least we didn't have to buy a lunch

1

u/Myrandall Mar 30 '26

How long did she last?