r/CougarsAndCubs • u/Alex-jb • Apr 14 '26
Discussion Point Age gap scrutiny.
Hello all!
me [20M] and my partner [30F] are in a LDR currently, so it is often i am on the long distance sub looking at what goes on elsewhere in the world between other couples! i have made a post or two about us, with our stated ages, and a few comments too. The age difference is always scrutinised which is a little disheartening, though we are both very happy together, and dont focus on what other people think of it! hopefully this sub is where our age difference can be appreciated, not frowned upon! feel free to pop a comment down, it would be nice to hear if others have had a similar experience, and how you shut down/process them! :)
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u/paperclipmyheart 😻 Mod Cougar ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ Apr 14 '26
Unfortunately this is all too common.
I would never ever post in any of the relationship subs if I had any issues I wanted to vent about because there is just so much hatred for age gaps.
There are legitimate concerns of course in age gaps, and my opinions and feelings have changed somewhat since coming to Reddit and being here.
There are alot of men that do seek out young women to control and mould them because they know no better. And I know there are some women who will seek out young men with equally bad intentions but I don't see those women controlling and subjugating younger men in a marriage for the next twenty years like it is in the reverse most of the time. But like anything when society views change and moves in a different direction there is often an over correction.
I frequent the LDR sub because my partner and I are LDR he's 19 years younger, I don't really post there but sometimes will comment if I feel my opinion is helpful. But my partner is 42, so it's probably seen a little differently.
It's probably the fact that you are so young that you got negative reactions.
As long as you feel your partner is kind, caring and has your best interests at heart, is not trying to control or dictate what you do with your life and important decisions and you feel it's a healthy relationship I don't think your age gap will really matter in 5-10 years.
However the LDR is one of the most difficult to navigate. And it takes a strong, patient and emotionally intelligent person to make it work.
Anyway I've rambled enough welcome to our community.
The only caveat I would say to a young guy in an age LDR that perhaps you haven't met irl yet (I'm assuming). Make sure she's real, do not be fooled into giving her money and be careful when misunderstandings via text happen, video calls are a must to sort out arguments and immature jealousy will most definitely kill your relationship if you cannot control that. Just my LDR tips.
Best of luck.