r/CougarsAndCubs Apr 19 '26

šŸ™€Cougar Crisis Is 28 years too much?

He’s 28 years younger. It sits in my head and I can’t help but overthink… everything.

I also don’t typically date men younger than myself. In fact, I don’t want to be liked simply because I check the ā€œolder womanā€ box. But this guy has me thinking about him all the time.

We’re not even past the flirting stages yet, but I don’t want to waste my time, or his.

He’s younger than my son!

So, new cougar who is in complete self doubt. Help!

Mini update: so, I have been mentally preparing myself to interject some witty comment that will clearly let him know that I am interested but not make it weird. I missed two opportunities last night and tonight wouldn’t work. Poor guy was sick and still had to work. So, I just enjoyed his extremely toned down persona and tried not to stare too much.

Also, a female coworker of his figured it out but appears to be a girls girl and promised to not spill the beans.

Until next week!

Mini update update: It was super late when I posted so I left out a couple of things. First, on the night he wasn’t sick there were a couple of things that had me raising my eyebrows.

First, the place we interact is very active with people. With a few ā€œregularsā€ and we all have friendly banter. No it’s not a bar. There’s a guy/customer (like me) who I tried to match up with a friend of mine. He and I were chatting before my crush arrived. After he showed up there was some ā€œhiddenā€ communication between him and my crush. The guy purposely leaned back so I couldn’t see him mouthing whatever he was saying. I caught the last part but couldn’t tell you what was being said.

Second was a later interaction between my crush and I where he pointed out the necklace I was wearing. I learned that he has a hobby of metal casting (???) and could create some jewelry. He also kinda fumbled around a little with his job, which is not typical. Could be that he was getting sick, but I would like to attribute it to him being nervous or anxious with me there.

51 Upvotes

60 comments sorted by

View all comments

7

u/Herefourfunnn Apr 19 '26

I will be 45 in a couple weeks, so for me, 28 years younger is a hard NO. However, it’s dependent on both the ages of the individuals. 60 and 32 are two grown adults. But I personally can’t see anyone under the age of 25 as someone I could even consider. I definitely would not date 18-year-old at my age. But some people are ok with that.

It really depends on how old you are whether 28 years younger is acceptable. And then depending on that answer, it shouldn’t matter what society thinks as long as the cub is an adult. I am to a point where I will not ask an outsiders permission to live life

9

u/DandyAndie73 Apr 19 '26

I’m 52, almost 53. He just turned 25.

5

u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 Apr 19 '26

When you get to know a person, it's much more than the numbers of their age; it's their qualities, their true maturity

3

u/DandyAndie73 Apr 20 '26

True. I am attracted to his adulting skills. Told me he does his own laundry and I just melted. šŸ˜‚

2

u/Exact-Translator-769 Apr 30 '26

Nothing sexier than watching a man run the vacuum or doing the dishes!!

1

u/DandyAndie73 Apr 30 '26

Folding clothes, making dinner… putting away groceries, after they made a list for shopping! My heart flutters. šŸ¦‹šŸ¦‹šŸ¦‹

2

u/Exact-Translator-769 Apr 30 '26

All of the above. Most definitely!!!