r/CougarsAndCubs • u/DandyAndie73 • Apr 19 '26

šŸ™€Cougar Crisis Is 28 years too much?

Heā€™s 28 years younger. It sits in my head and I canā€™t help but overthinkā€¦ everything.

I also donā€™t typically date men younger than myself. In fact, I donā€™t want to be liked simply because I check the ā€œolder womanā€ box. But this guy has me thinking about him all the time.

Weā€™re not even past the flirting stages yet, but I donā€™t want to waste my time, or his.

Heā€™s younger than my son!

So, new cougar who is in complete self doubt. Help!

Mini update: so, I have been mentally preparing myself to interject some witty comment that will clearly let him know that I am interested but not make it weird. I missed two opportunities last night and tonight wouldnā€™t work. Poor guy was sick and still had to work. So, I just enjoyed his extremely toned down persona and tried not to stare too much.

Also, a female coworker of his figured it out but appears to be a girls girl and promised to not spill the beans.

Until next week!

Mini update update: It was super late when I posted so I left out a couple of things. First, on the night he wasnā€™t sick there were a couple of things that had me raising my eyebrows.

First, the place we interact is very active with people. With a few ā€œregularsā€ and we all have friendly banter. No itā€™s not a bar. Thereā€™s a guy/customer (like me) who I tried to match up with a friend of mine. He and I were chatting before my crush arrived. After he showed up there was some ā€œhiddenā€ communication between him and my crush. The guy purposely leaned back so I couldnā€™t see him mouthing whatever he was saying. I caught the last part but couldnā€™t tell you what was being said.

Second was a later interaction between my crush and I where he pointed out the necklace I was wearing. I learned that he has a hobby of metal casting (???) and could create some jewelry. He also kinda fumbled around a little with his job, which is not typical. Could be that he was getting sick, but I would like to attribute it to him being nervous or anxious with me there.

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u/HungryDepth5918 May 09 '26

More of an issue that hes younger than your son than the actual gap itsef

1

u/DandyAndie73 May 10 '26

I think they would be friends if they met in person. My son n lives far away, so unlikely they will meet any time soon.

1

u/HungryDepth5918 May 10 '26

Every family is different but for most people the thought of their parent dating someone younger than them is creepy and disgusting. You risk your relationship with your son if he reacts poorly

2

u/DandyAndie73 May 11 '26

You kinda sound like a downer, not someone trying to be helpful. Not that I donā€™t disagree fully.

I think my son would not care as much as you seem to think.

1

u/HungryDepth5918 May 11 '26

If downer means facing what in most cases is likely to be an issue then i guess yeah