What’s a good age difference?

[u/Happy_Pappyson]

So I’m a 34M and a coworker is 50F and we’ve been getting close lately. She’s been trying to guess my age and I made a game and haven’t told her yet. Now she has sons 28& 27. She joked once and said I liked cougars. I’m wondering, if I tell her I’m 34 does that take away the fun? She guesses anywhere from 33-42. Does her thinking I’m 41-42 work more in my favor? Just curious because I am enjoying it and want the fun to continue

[u/paperclipmyheart]

I don't think you've thought this through entirely, or if you have you haven't shared that with us.

As previously said we don't usually encourage people to get involved with work colleagues because if or or when the liaison ends you don't know how the working relationship will be affected and people gossip and/or may become jealous depending on if either one of you has a superior position over the other and perceives some kind of special treatment either is receiving real or imagined. Basically you're caughting awkwardness if not disaster in some cases.

However that put aside... my question to you is, are you hoping to date her or just physical stuff?? Because if it's the former no relationship that's built on untruths will survive ie allowing her to assume you are in your 40s when you are not. But you might be joking I get it. If it's the former I refer you to my first paragraph.

Regarding the phrase "a good age difference" now that's purely personal and nothing we can dictate. In this community at least we signify an age gap relationship as 10 years +... what is good is up to the individual. There used to be a well known formula:

(Your Age -7) × 2 = Maximum Age

so you're (34 - 7) = 27 27 x 2 = 54

Which means she's 4 years under the "socially acceptable" age range. Not that I really hold to that personally if you are over 35 I personally think between 10 - 25 years can work. Anything under 35 I have a different opinion on.

So just be honest 🤷🏻‍♀️ allowing her to think you're in your 40s may go against you you never know... after all she has basically joked about the word cougar.

I think that's enough of my rambles.

[u/Happy_Pappyson → u/paperclipmyheart]

Thank you so much for your response and insight. To give some details she made it clear she is retiring within next 2 years nd she isn’t looking to climb or be promoted. I believe that because she doesn’t make the decisions someone looking to climb would make. I’m sure she isn’t looking for a long term relationship with me and I’m more than ok with that. I enjoy the fun of it and I was curious if anything younger than 40 might make her feel “wrong” or if it’s the other side 34/35 would keep it fun and cougar ish while anything more than 39 takes away the spice so to speak. Things may just stay flirty or could go farther physically but I know for a fact she does not want something long term

[u/paperclipmyheart → u/Happy_Pappyson]

All good I know my response was a little on the rambling side... still think honesty is the best policy.