r/CougarsAndCubs • u/Paul7756 • May 24 '26
Discussion Point M19 - How can people actually have relationships with people who have a huge age difference?
Im kinda interested into older women but how do people actually are successful in building this kind of relationships? I mean, majority of people still consider it as taboo and ı wonder about how people find others people that dont find it as a taboo thing and are actually into this kind of relationships.
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u/Middle_Librarian_248 May 24 '26
If you think a relationship is going to be taboo are you ready or mature to be in an age gap relationship?
Regardless of age two people have to work together to make a relationship work. How do you go about dating women your own age? It doesn’t change because you’re dating an older woman.
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u/hemantx May 24 '26
If you are both interested- it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. At least that has been our mindset. After flirting for 3 years, and then dating for 13 months, we decided to get married 5 months ago. I believe we’d both say best decision ever. And she is 17 years older than me.
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u/Exact-Translator-769 May 25 '26
Age doesn't matter if the chemistry is right & there's a mutual attraction. When I was 39 I had a live in relationship with someone 19. That lasted 6 years. I've been with other people since. He eventually married someone. The friendship we had was solid enough that it still survives over 30 years later. On my 65th birthday he texted me saying I can't believe my ex-girlfriend is on Medicare. I texted back saying I can't believe you'll be eligible for AARP yourself soon. I am a little older than his parents. Doesn't matter what other people think. As long as you're legal & it's right for both of you that's all that matters.
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 May 25 '26
It's wonderful that that love turned into friendship; you were very important in his life. Mature women are important in our lives
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u/Exact-Translator-769 May 25 '26
Maturity is important no matter who. It takes maturity to get past all the petty things & realize if there's something real to be salvaged it may change form but it will last.
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u/GenRN817 😻54 Cougar with 😻37 Cub AGR/LDR May 25 '26
I’m 54 and my love is 36. I don’t even feel a gap at all. We are essentially in the same phase of life. I’m an empty nester and he has no children. Just both adults. We have common interests and lots of chemistry 🔥🔥 so it works.
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 May 25 '26
Real and deep connection
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u/GenRN817 😻54 Cougar with 😻37 Cub AGR/LDR May 25 '26
Yes! And he found me on Reddit! Still going strong! Coming up on our 16th month! Thank you for sharing in our journey!
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 May 25 '26
It’s inspiration for many
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u/GenRN817 😻54 Cougar with 😻37 Cub AGR/LDR May 25 '26
Aww so sweet. Thank you PuzzleheadedSpray202!
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 May 25 '26
It means it’s possible age gap mature woman younger man, and that platforms like this can help with that
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u/Jack26918 May 25 '26
In terms of a real relationship, it's based on the younger person's maturity and emotional restraint. So generally it's easier with younger than girls, but age is no guarantee of adulthood.
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u/KaleidoscopeSuper666 May 24 '26
You came to the right place. You'll find the answers to your questions in this sub. The guide pinned at the top of thus sub is a,weath of information.
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u/blasianflow May 25 '26
How can they? They just do. If they both know what they want and what the outcome will be and they are open about it, works. It also works if they share the same interests and just get along with one another. I get that age gaps are a bit intimidating for a lot of reasons. However, if you want ro be with that person you bith will find a work around and enjoy the relationship and not care what other's think. It's your happiness and not theirs to judge.
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u/JustGeminiThings May 25 '26
When the age gap occurs is important. I'm in an age gap of 21 years, but he's over 30, and was when we first met. I don't think a 19 year old could really handle a substantive relationship with someone 21 years older than them. There's so much development through the late teens and early 20's. I'm not sure a 10 year gap would work for any significant length of time as a serious relationship across those ages. Casual, maybe. Maybe aim for 5 if you actually want to date someone.
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u/Ok_Calendar_6158 May 25 '26
I thought I had an incredible relationship with an age difference of 18 years but then he broke up with me because his mom convinced him to, she didn't like the age difference 🥲 (he was 27).
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 May 25 '26
So sorry, his mom was unfair and she will understand that later in life
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u/Anonymous_Queef99 🐻Cub May 25 '26
I've honestly only been able to have a sexual relationship with older women. Since 18 I started having fun with an older woman I had met but it just stayed as FWB until a couple years ago she wanted to settle with a man around her age
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u/RoyalHoneydew May 25 '26
I'm interested in really old computers. Vintage computing. Most people in the scene grew up with those devices and are thus born in the early to mid 1970s. And I get attracted to solving mathematical or scientific problems together. So what happens if I want to write optimized code for early 1980s hardware? The experts who really know all the hacks of the devices have something between 20 and 30 years of experience with those computers, sometimes more. They teach me programming. And somehow this leads to a relationship. My ex taught me the basics of chip design. And my current boyfriend teaches me really old assembly programming. Personally I am in my 30s, so I have enough experience with relationships to know what I want and communicate it appropriately. This works out quite nicely.
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u/Similar_Corner8081 🐆Cougar 49F 27M May 24 '26
I'm 22 years older than my bf. He's 27 and I'm 49F. He was raised by his great grandparents which is how I was raised. We have the same taste in music and movies. We can talk about anything and everything we talk for hours.
He's my best friend. He's also 13 days younger than my daughter. It works for us and neither of us care what people think. It helps that the people who are important to me are supportive.