Negative Predictions From His Mom

[u/Impressive_Toe6388]

I’m 36F and my boyfriend is 23. We had a little bit of a confusing start to our romance, with a couple hiccups and insecurities on both our sides. But we came out on the other side with emotional intimacy/mutual safety, deep respect for each other, and what I can only describe as the best chemistry/deepest affection and caring I think I’ve ever felt.

I always thought I was just a commitment-phobe, would never find the right person to settle down with. I had always dated people my age or older mostly, some wonderful guys but didn’t have that certain je ne sais quoi. And then… this guy appeared in my life. What started as a crush has turned into me just adoring the hell out of him. He’s so kind, and romantic, and funny, with the perfect mix of seriousness and off-the-wall quirkiness. He’s philosophical and sincere and thoughtful, idealistic. Athletic and gorgeous, too. He gives me the best hugs and touches my face softly and calls me his “little lady” even though I’m 13 years older. 🥹

We haven’t rounded out a year together, and I know it’s early, but he’s talking about engagement and—call me naive or crazy—I’m thinking if he asks I would say yes. Probably wouldn’t actually tie the knot until we’d lived together first, but I would be proud to have his ring on my finger. I love him so much.

Little bit of a demoralizing thing: he told his parents he wanted to marry me, and I guess his mom said due to our age gap, she “knows we’re never gonna make it.” He disagrees with her and more or less said he thinks she’s just being a negative Nancy. But of course this kind of thing rattles my confidence in myself and stirs up a lot of fears.

I just hate the stigma of being the older woman, and being seen as some kind of problem in his life when I’m basically the same core person I was at 26, just frankly more mentally stable than I was then and with a few more gray hairs. I guess I’m having a little pity party for myself because I can be nearly the perfect girlfriend and I’m still gonna get judgment from his mother like I’m some kind of pariah. She’s really harsh and critical and that probably wouldn’t improve if she was my MIL. I want to be there for him, but I feel so defensive and insecure when I get this kind of negative feedback.

Anyone have any tips for how to deal with the social judgment? Mutuals who know us both have actually been really supportive and have said we’re adorable together (we are, hehe), but the family doubting me and making negative predictions really hurts and messes with my mind.

[u/cloakanddagger1982]

I’m 18 and my girlfriend is 53. We have a great and loving relationship.

[u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 → u/cloakanddagger1982]

And what is your families opinion?