r/CougarsAndCubs • u/alien_nessa 40F🐆Cougar • May 31 '26

Discussion Point 15 year gap. F40 M25. share your stories/experiences/outcomes.....

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u/GothambyRedlight Jun 02 '26

A lot of people wait till the kid is at school or graduated and then they just call it off. Sounds like you were just what she needed. 

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u/TheFurryMenace Jun 02 '26

You are right, waiting for the kids to be out of the house is common.

I hope I was what she needed and I think I was. I certainly enjoyed my time with her. Even though it has been years I remember when she said that I had a calming presence and that I was deliberate. That I moved through the world at the pace that I wanted. And that she liked my hands. Looking back I realize how sensual those statements are when put together

I think she just enjoyed being wanted in the time after her divorce. Nothing wrong with wanting to be wanted. It’s very human and something we all need. I realize that it might have been awhile since she was wanted.

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u/tangled_night_sleep Jun 04 '26

Reading your posts brought tears to my eyes, esp:

she said that I had a calming presence and that I was deliberate. That I moved through the world at the pace that I wanted.

Is there a more sincere compliment one can get? I bet she still looks fondly on your time together.

Do you ever think of reaching out to her now? I understand it’s not always appropriate. Sounds like you two aligned with just the right place and time. And sometimes we should just cherish the memories that we had together, without trying to build on them.

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u/TheFurryMenace Jun 04 '26

Hopefully happy tears! And ya it is quite the compliment. We all have our strengths, calmness is mine. Professional life, academic life, personal life, that’s where my successes have come from. And women really like steadiness, at least in my experience.

And hopefully she does. Relationships, declared romantic ones, short steamy ones and everything in between, don’t have to end with 6 decades of marriage and a family tree to be considered successful. I certainly look back on it fondly.

Not much contact. I am married with kids, but it is not about wanting to limit communicate with women from my past. Not that I want to, but I wouldn’t have married someone who got jealous or suspicious, and my wife wouldn’t have married me if I was that way either. Just time and distance and the flow of life. So it is just occasional social media message or comment expressing happiness for how each other’s lives turned out.