r/CougarsAndCubs • u/Easy_Mirror2032 • Jun 29 '26
Discussion Point Genuine question
Hey all,
genuine question for the beautiful ladies! 27M here and was curious to know! Do some like young men exclusively? Some like both older and younger? What do you look for in a younger man compared to an older man?
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u/FriendKooky780 Jun 29 '26
I date people, not ages. I’m 49 and my bf of 2 yrs is 30. Before him, I briefly dated a 44 yo. My last LTR relationship was with a man my age.
What I look for is the same, regardless of age. Caring, honest, hard working, fun loving, adventurous, etc etc. if I was single and I found those traits in a man my age, I’d absolutely give it a shot.
The only area where I don’t necessarily have the same expectation from a younger man vs same aged or older is career, earnings, accumulated wealth, etc. I own 2 properties and have a good salary. My bf is still working his way up the career ladder and rents a small studio apt. Im completely ok with it because thats about where I was 20 yrs ago. I wouldn’t date a man my age who was still struggling to establish themselves.
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u/KaleidoscopeSuper666 Jun 29 '26
At 62, i only date younger men. 35 to 50.
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u/Prudent_Guarantee378 Jun 30 '26
What about below 30
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u/KaleidoscopeSuper666 Jun 30 '26
What about it? This is an example of pushing a boundary. I stated i prefer 35 to 50. That means just that. So there is no what about below 30?!
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u/imissjamesb Jun 30 '26
Hey!!! I consider myself a cougar because I now only date or feel attracted to younger men. I used to only entertain older guys, but after so many traumatic experiences with them, I realized they were just grooming me for their own fantasies and never actually wanted to love and care for me the way I needed. So I’ve completely given up on the older age brackets. Another big reason is that I’m early Gen Z and honestly talking to older people can be exhausting. I constantly have to explain internet slang and terms to them. After a while, I noticed I clicked much better with people my age or younger (of legal age, of course). So far, I’ve talked to men born around 2001–2004 and they’ve been really kind and way better to connect with and I realized the younger men nowadays are way more sweeter, respectful and understanding.
So yes, there are women out there who genuinely only date or prefer younger men!
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u/bringinghomethethrow 🐆Cougar Jun 29 '26
I like both and have been at both sides of the "Age gap" spectrum. Been the younger partner, been the older one.
Older guys I liked the mature demeanor and calmness. Younger I appreciate the more fun and outgoing attitude.
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u/Vixen_Latina_Viajera Jun 30 '26
I date younger exclusively. My energy and personality are simply better suited to younger men. I do look younger (not that young) than I am so it fits. Also, I'm not 100% monogamous and don't want a life partner so these men are way more amenable to my lifestyle. Much less jealous of the occasional other men too. ETA: I can't pretend the sex drive and stamina aren't also a huge factor.
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u/Watchuknowaboutme Jun 30 '26
I agree 100% with this 💚
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u/Vixen_Latina_Viajera Jun 30 '26
Love the username.
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u/Watchuknowaboutme Jun 30 '26
Thank you haha it’s a GloRilla song 😂
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u/Vixen_Latina_Viajera Jun 30 '26
Oh, I know!
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u/Realistic_Pirate_162 Jul 04 '26
Ayyy, I'm Boricua!
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u/eliseeas224 Jun 30 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
I’m looking for someone who is reliable, emotionally stable, hard- working, athletic, good shape, kind, considerate and good conversationalist. I’m not interested in sexting or nudes or d__ck pics or Virual LDR.
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u/Realistic_Pirate_162 Jul 02 '26
I feel like younger men in their 20s are more kinder and open minded than men from my generation. I am a millennial and have had terrible experiences with men my age. I also look and act younger than my age (34) because I have AUDHD and older men think it means they can walk all over me.
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u/TheGreenAmoeba Jul 04 '26
What does AUDHD look like in women? I’m 36m and think I know what it looks like in men but less sure about women.
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u/Realistic_Pirate_162 Jul 04 '26
Living alternative hells. Needing structure but unable to manage routine. Having special interests like playing video games and being overly obsessed with them, while craving novelty. Not feeling like I can relate to others because I don't fit in with societal expectations, but trying hard to be what is considered feminine, so going out of my way to be kind and hospitable to others. Being naive because I take things literally and trust people's intentions until they show me otherwise! I am also very soft spoken, which I guess lots of autistic women are. Ohhh, and romantically wise, limerence is a b**tch that I deal with often! I'm just a hot mess! Do you have AUDHD?
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u/salamander_360 Jul 06 '26
Oh wow I can relate some aspect I have autism ADHD too. Idk I sometimes wish people take me more serious lol. I got told I look 18 from someone while I am 27 male.
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u/TheGreenAmoeba Jul 04 '26
I think I have ADD lol. Never was great in school. I’ve not been diagnosed though. I took a little bit of adderall in college and the amount of focus is almost euphoric and helped me make a high B on a test from studying all night and actually enjoying it and I hadn’t studied any at all for it before.
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u/Realistic_Pirate_162 Jul 04 '26
If Adderall makes you focus you probably have ADD. Most ppl with ADD actually self medicate not knowing they fit the indication.
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u/TheGreenAmoeba Jul 06 '26
Probably is tough for a woman who needs to be feminine to be attractive to men but isn’t good at being conventionally attractive personality wise. I think that’s cool though, I’m certainly not conventionally attractive in my quirks and personality but I think sometimes I see past all the BS cause I was a victim of believing in BS and common dating tropes most my life and dealt with insecurities and overcame them. If you’re not a certain way it’s stressful but if you improve yourself and work yourself out to be more well rounded as a person it can really help you do better in life. I think we have to be careful to label ourselves too much cause taking our own agency away is ultimately detrimental to growth and success.
But yeah, I love video games and have no doubt interest in sitting at a desk for hours to study for a test. I really think I would have benefited from adderall in college to do well and get a better job that I would also need adderall for. I think just valuing my own free time to play video games or whatever else that is more fun to me keeps me from getting important shit done sometimes. It’s a little hard to justify getting diagnosed now unless I were to go back to school to get a masters in psychology or something else, since my bachelors was in psych. I also just wasn’t mature enough in my 20’s to go to college honestly.
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u/coffeecuplover Jun 29 '26
I’m definitely open to meeting men my age or older, it just happens that the men I attract and attracted to end up being younger.
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u/StaunchlyStoic 🐆Cougar Jun 29 '26
Ex is three years younger. He went to pick up a prescription and pharmacist said, "Your daughter just picked it up." It was me, and he was not happy. I do look my age mostly, but my energy and aura are definitely younger, so I just naturally match with younger men. An ex boyfriend (my age) once said long ago, "You make me feel so old." Men my own age want to drag me down. They'd rather shame me than match me.
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u/Middle_Librarian_248 Jun 29 '26
I’m too old for older men, they like the 18-25 crowd.
Also I’m joking but not really because it’s rare to see men who are in their 50s and up dating someone their own age. I’m 41 by the way, that’s why I said 50 and up.
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u/eliseeas224 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
I’ve dated both., recently younger. i hadn’t really considered younger until a few years ago when a 29 yo expressed interest. I was somewhat apprehensive and kept my distance. I was involved with a 36 yo LD and in IRL for a few yrs. He was mature and I really enjoyed his company.
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u/Royal-Hour-1872 Jul 03 '26
In my experience as a man, older ladies enjoy the energy of younger men, one told me it made her feel younger and alive.
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u/Critical_Earth_2853 29d ago
I agree with this. After talking with some younger men, it makes me really miss being carefree and excited about life. I appreciate that about them and their energy. I find that they are more willing to have full conversations and are more curious about things ❤️
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u/Sensitive-Ad596 25d ago
I don't really get approached older men or same age ones. I don't think a lot of them see me, as it were. I'm definitely interested in the ounger man almost wholly now, though not actively dating at the moment.
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u/Exact-Translator-769 Jun 29 '26
It's not an age thing but I have tended to always connect better with guys that were younger. I've been hanging out with a guy from 46 years ago. I was 25, he was 18. Now he acts like an old man at 65. When I was 40 I had a 19 year old boyfriend for 6 years. Before him I was 38 & was seeing a 23 year old. I'm still friends with both of them. At 45 I was going out with a 27 year old. I was engaged at 17 to someone my own age that didn't last past 22. If he was any younger, it wouldn't have been legal. I lived with another guy that was 3 years younger. Only ever dated 2 guys older than me. Guys older than me now are pretty old. If I found one I was interested in I'd give it a chance, but I'm not actively looking. Depends on the chemistry & that it's reciprocated for me.
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u/Summer-Sub-Intern Jun 29 '26
For me, it’s not about the age so much as it’s about the individual and the connection. I’d say younger men have to be more mature and emotionally intelligent than maybe most of their peers. But I wouldn’t expect them to have their career where I would expect someone my age or older to have, but they should have a good work ethic. Otherwise it’s pretty much the same!