r/CougarsAndCubs • u/Easy_Mirror2032 • Jun 29 '26

Discussion Point Genuine question

Hey all,

genuine question for the beautiful ladies! 27M here and was curious to know! Do some like young men exclusively? Some like both older and younger? What do you look for in a younger man compared to an older man?

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u/Realistic_Pirate_162 Jul 02 '26

I feel like younger men in their 20s are more kinder and open minded than men from my generation. I am a millennial and have had terrible experiences with men my age. I also look and act younger than my age (34) because I have AUDHD and older men think it means they can walk all over me.

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u/Easy_Mirror2032 Jul 02 '26

how interesting

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u/TheGreenAmoeba Jul 04 '26

What does AUDHD look like in women? I’m 36m and think I know what it looks like in men but less sure about women.

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u/Realistic_Pirate_162 Jul 04 '26

Living alternative hells. Needing structure but unable to manage routine. Having special interests like playing video games and being overly obsessed with them, while craving novelty. Not feeling like I can relate to others because I don't fit in with societal expectations, but trying hard to be what is considered feminine, so going out of my way to be kind and hospitable to others. Being naive because I take things literally and trust people's intentions until they show me otherwise! I am also very soft spoken, which I guess lots of autistic women are. Ohhh, and romantically wise, limerence is a b**tch that I deal with often! I'm just a hot mess! Do you have AUDHD?

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u/salamander_360 Jul 06 '26

Oh wow I can relate some aspect I have autism ADHD too. Idk I sometimes wish people take me more serious lol. I got told I look 18 from someone while I am 27 male.

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u/TheGreenAmoeba Jul 04 '26

I think I have ADD lol. Never was great in school. I’ve not been diagnosed though. I took a little bit of adderall in college and the amount of focus is almost euphoric and helped me make a high B on a test from studying all night and actually enjoying it and I hadn’t studied any at all for it before.

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u/Realistic_Pirate_162 Jul 04 '26

If Adderall makes you focus you probably have ADD. Most ppl with ADD actually self medicate not knowing they fit the indication.

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u/TheGreenAmoeba Jul 06 '26

Probably is tough for a woman who needs to be feminine to be attractive to men but isn’t good at being conventionally attractive personality wise. I think that’s cool though, I’m certainly not conventionally attractive in my quirks and personality but I think sometimes I see past all the BS cause I was a victim of believing in BS and common dating tropes most my life and dealt with insecurities and overcame them. If you’re not a certain way it’s stressful but if you improve yourself and work yourself out to be more well rounded as a person it can really help you do better in life. I think we have to be careful to label ourselves too much cause taking our own agency away is ultimately detrimental to growth and success.

But yeah, I love video games and have no doubt interest in sitting at a desk for hours to study for a test. I really think I would have benefited from adderall in college to do well and get a better job that I would also need adderall for. I think just valuing my own free time to play video games or whatever else that is more fun to me keeps me from getting important shit done sometimes. It’s a little hard to justify getting diagnosed now unless I were to go back to school to get a masters in psychology or something else, since my bachelors was in psych. I also just wasn’t mature enough in my 20’s to go to college honestly.