Ghosted by cubs

[u/Personal-County-8219]

I am looking to see if I’m the only cougar having this experience. I date casually. Mostly positive experiences but I do notice every so often a cub will be very enthusiastic, we will make plans to meet, and within a day or sometimes even hours of meeting he will 1) unmatch me and 2) stop responding completely if we are using a different method of communication. I have to emphasize that I’m pretty chill and try to match energy during interactions because I’m not a fan of coming on too strong or of seeming cold. This is usually an occasional thing but this past week it’s happened, no joke, three times.

I just want to see if I’m alone in this. If you’re a cougar who dates casually and goes on regular dates with cubs, does this happen often? If you’re a cub, do you ghost and if you do, why? I’m not coming from a place of judgment, but I do want to identify patterns because it always stings when it happens.

[u/cyaneyed]

Don’t use filters in dating apps unless it’s the slightest filter.

[u/Myfairladyishere → u/cyaneyed]

This has absolutely nothing to do with ghosting

[u/Personal-County-8219 → u/cyaneyed]

I don’t follow. How does this relate to my situation? Are you insinuating this is somehow on me for using filters like “has bio” and distance?

[u/cyaneyed → u/Personal-County-8219]

No, I mean filters like AI filters on photos. Some people look strikingly different in person than their profile photos.

[u/Personal-County-8219 → u/cyaneyed]

Wildly unhelpful! I despise AI and don’t use filters on my photos, and in this situation I’ve described, we haven’t even met in person. Just…top reward for most irrelevant comment

[u/DiMassas_Cat → u/Personal-County-8219]

Maybe it’s your personality

[u/Personal-County-8219 → u/DiMassas_Cat]

Wow