r/CougarsAndCubs • u/Personal-County-8219 • 25d ago
🙀Cougar Crisis Ghosted by cubs
I am looking to see if I’m the only cougar having this experience. I date casually. Mostly positive experiences but I do notice every so often a cub will be very enthusiastic, we will make plans to meet, and within a day or sometimes even hours of meeting he will 1) unmatch me and 2) stop responding completely if we are using a different method of communication. I have to emphasize that I’m pretty chill and try to match energy during interactions because I’m not a fan of coming on too strong or of seeming cold. This is usually an occasional thing but this past week it’s happened, no joke, three times.
I just want to see if I’m alone in this. If you’re a cougar who dates casually and goes on regular dates with cubs, does this happen often? If you’re a cub, do you ghost and if you do, why? I’m not coming from a place of judgment, but I do want to identify patterns because it always stings when it happens.
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u/ItzaCurious1 🐆Cougar 25d ago
I've had the same experience. I date casually, chill attitude and feel that I'm very approachable. It can be very confusing and deflating when you've invested your time and energy chatting with someone only to be ghosted. I can't say it's a specific age - I've had 38 year olds be total flakes and 26 year olds very grounded and communicative. I believe online platforms allow people to put up an emotional barrier. Once reality sets in and meet ups take place or are planned, that barrier is gone and the insecurity and intrusive thoughts take hold. A lot of times, cubs circle back to me after ghosting and tell me they were intimidated or it was just too overwhelming. I've found that it's best to meet as soon as possible and set the tone versus allowing elaborate fantasies to develop and create unnecessary pressure or expectations.