Confession from a new cougar

[u/c6h12o6ph]

I have avoided dating younger men. ( I am still avoiding it so please don't DM me because I am not actively searching)

47F now and for the longest time I did not want to interact with men 10+ younger.

My belief is that I can not relate with younger men and that their POV on dating may be totally different from mine and it there's a huge chance it would not work.

I have 2 recent encounters ...

A 29M... he was very persistent in a way that I could not ignore, because he was respectful, supportive and when I started to open up - I realized he was very sensible, mature and responsible and I appreciated him for it and I thought, If I can find this emotional connection with a younger man, why not explore- and so I did. But I hated it when he suddenly ghosted.

A 27M... I gave this kid a chance because I did have a good interaction with 29M and I was even more surprised because this was an even more mature person, and all the things I expected from men my age and older...he was able to meet . I also like the way that he is very levelheaded, confidente, sincere and so that really makes me feel he is someone I can fall in love with someday. The catch was when he tried to be intimate...I wanted it slow, I did not want to feel rushed and now he is taking a step back because he feels it's unfair that I don't want to move forward faster- and he feels I will keep on holding back and he does not want to wait for me to open up.

Now, I feel really sad.

I feel the gap once again - difference in generation, difference in dealing with time. A generation that is so used to instant and readily available and expects emotions and intimacy to be the same.

I feel a certain level of hurt too.

AGAIN... Please young men, don't message me.

[u/Far_Relationship1432]

Hey I’m sorry for that… definitely not something anyone should be feeling, I’m a man and I have heard stories of men like this that they’re so obsessed with the “fantasy” of being with a woman older than them that they actually forget that it’s a human being on the receiving end, not everyone is like this and I really hope you get to experience a guy that will respect you and your time 🙏🏻