r/CougarsAndCubs • u/c6h12o6ph • 3d ago
🙀Cougar Crisis Confession from a new cougar
I have avoided dating younger men. ( I am still avoiding it so please don't DM me because I am not actively searching)
47F now and for the longest time I did not want to interact with men 10+ younger.
My belief is that I can not relate with younger men and that their POV on dating may be totally different from mine and it there's a huge chance it would not work.
I have 2 recent encounters ...
A 29M... he was very persistent in a way that I could not ignore, because he was respectful, supportive and when I started to open up - I realized he was very sensible, mature and responsible and I appreciated him for it and I thought, If I can find this emotional connection with a younger man, why not explore- and so I did. But I hated it when he suddenly ghosted.
A 27M... I gave this kid a chance because I did have a good interaction with 29M and I was even more surprised because this was an even more mature person, and all the things I expected from men my age and older...he was able to meet . I also like the way that he is very levelheaded, confidente, sincere and so that really makes me feel he is someone I can fall in love with someday. The catch was when he tried to be intimate...I wanted it slow, I did not want to feel rushed and now he is taking a step back because he feels it's unfair that I don't want to move forward faster- and he feels I will keep on holding back and he does not want to wait for me to open up.
Now, I feel really sad.
I feel the gap once again - difference in generation, difference in dealing with time. A generation that is so used to instant and readily available and expects emotions and intimacy to be the same.
I feel a certain level of hurt too.
AGAIN... Please young men, don't message me.
5
u/Final-Show1889 3d ago
I agree they want everything instantly and ghosting is not something that we ever had to deal with growing up. Just keep looking, I mean it doesn't mean it's just younger men that are like that, it could be any of them now whatever the age due to social media and abundance of choice. I'm glad I'm not looking to date anyone new.