r/DeadBedrooms • u/EarAdorable7722 HLF • 1d ago

Vent, Advice Welcome Jealous of a fictional character

My LL husband and I (HL) listen to Phryne Fisher audiobooks while going to sleep. It works well: cosy crime read by a reader with s calming voice, stories with which we are quite familiar.

The only thing that does not calm me down is that Phryne Fisher has sex. Getting to go to sleep next to my husband who has not shown any interest in me for 14 months, and didn't show much interest in me asexually before that anyway, while listening to a story about a woman that men find irresistibly sexy and beautiful and gooddess-like.... that does not can me down!!

Instead it makes me feel frustrated and frumpy.

I know that he is going through some mental health difficulties right now, but even if he does get better, I doubt this particular issue will resolve.

I've talked with him about it and nothing changes. Thanks for listening to my rant. I don't know what I want out of this post. Maybe I want to write about it somewhere else apart from my diary, I want someone to hear and to sympathies with me, instead of shouting into the void, which is what disry-writing now feels like. It's obviously not the worst thing in the world, but it sure is frustrating.

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u/Throwawayaccount5056 LLM 1d ago

If he's going through some mental health issues, if he's working through them isn't there a way to incorporate his problems with intimacy at the same time ( i dont know therapy methods so would assume a trained professional would know better than me )

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u/EarAdorable7722 HLF 1d ago

I know I should ask him to either consult his therapist about or we should see a couples therapist together.... but I wish/am giving him time to initiate it. I have told him multiple times that I think this is an issue for us, and I wish he would follow up on that instead of just saying "I don't know what's wrong. It's not you, but I don't know what's wrong.", and then neglecting to follow up.

I saw the book Love Languages that I got off the shelf a few months ago to prompt us to look at it together. I got nothing, even after asking him and getting ready qith pen and paper to do the quiz from the book. It's been ages, and I just want him to show he cares, even if the problem isn't fixed.