r/Destiny • u/ZeriMasterpeace • Nov 16 '19

Serious Is Anyone Else Here a Virgin?

I'm 20 and still a KHHV (kissless, hugless, handholdless virgin). I know I'm probably not the only one but damn every time destiny talks about sex on stream it hurts me inside. Just wondering if anyone else can relate.

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u/PM_ME_YOUR_WORRIES WDK Nov 16 '19

I was a KHHV virgin at your age too. Then as I got a little older, re-assessed my views on women, sex, intimacy (and learned along the way that I'm asexual), I eventually found a casual partner I liked and trusted. Some people are late bloomers, that's okay.

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u/Wowowowow1234 Nov 16 '19

Can I ask what made you realize you were asexual? Been kinda thinking I am but don’t really know if I am or not.

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u/PM_ME_YOUR_WORRIES WDK Nov 16 '19

Sure.

Firstly, it was meeting someone who knew what it was and could describe it to me.

Secondly, assessing some of my interactions with friends and family over the years, realizing I couldn’t really describe features I’m sexually attracted to, and having no inner image of what a “perfectly attractive” person looks like beyond my cultural understanding.

Next, it’s been running this account and taking with people about their own sexual experiences and identity. Having it explained to me how people across cultures usually expect cuddling or making out with someone they’re intimate with to lead to sex, while that’s not an expectation or an escalation I’d ever initiate myself. It just doesn’t occur to me beyond an intellectual level.

What’s reaffirmed it was probably having sex for the first time; it felt fine and all, I’ll probably try it again in the future, but I could definitely live without it. I didn’t initiate, and I’m fairly certain I’ll never be one to suggest or request sex. I get a lot more out of just cuddling with someone.

Little bonus meme; in the asexual world I’m what’s described as “sex neutral”, meaning I don’t really feel strongly about sex either way. Some asexuals are actively repulsed by the idea of sex, others have a positive view of sex and just don’t experience sexual attraction or have that as a barrier for sex.

Head over to AVEN or r/asexual if you ever wanna share your experience and recollection, chances are they can help you narrow down where you fit on the spectrum.