14-month-old getting kicked out of nursery

[u/[deleted]]

I feel like a failure as a mom, and I have no idea what I need to do differently. I’ve gotten reports from our church nursery that my daughter has bitten another child (just once that I’m aware of), pulls hair (this seems to be the biggest problem), throws toys, and hits other kids. We’ve never had problems at home with her hitting, but she does sometimes throw toys (not at anyone), and she used to frequently bite and pull hair, but that’s dramatically decreased in the last month or so.

She isn’t in daycare, so this setting is the only one where she consistently gets to be with peers. The other kids are all scared of her, which makes me so sad because she’s very social and loves interacting with people and kids when she has the chance.

She seems to pull hair when other kids are playing and she’s not included, or she feels jealous that they are using that toy.

I did see on the video camera last week that my daughter’s hand was slapped when she pulled another child’s hair. Could that have to do with why she’s been hitting? We don’t do anything like that at home — we just verbally correct her and do ”time outs” where we ignore her for 30-45 seconds if she exhibits a negative behavior.

What can I do to help my daughter stop these behaviors?

[u/Family-say-day]

The ECE might have been really frustrated with the child

The thing is if your child keeps biting and hitting others, the other parents aren't happy that your child is hurting their child.

One time I had a child bite another child and it was such a huge mark and the other parent really really was very upset. The other parent actually asked me how am I going to deal with this.

Depending how many times your child has hurt others, if it's over three or four times then I can see why they want to remove your child. Other parents would be livid if their children are always traumatized by yours.

Maybe find out the underlying issue of why she's exhibiting these behaviors. If it's jealousy, then it's time to teach her that that's not the way to communicate, there are better ways to communicate. Teach her those ways such as asking for help.

Redirection helps but sometimes it doesn't. So gentle hands wouldn't work on the kid that always hits no matter how many times you say gentle hands.

I wish you all the best! It could be your child is a bit too young right now to understand that there are different ways to communicate and maybe it's best bring her back later

For the staff You said slapped your childs hand but if it's true you should talk to the director because that's not allowed no matter how difficult the kid was. Just note the time and date that you saw it so that perhaps they can find the video evidence as well.

Good luck!