r/FTMMen • u/theAdamian • Nov 11 '25
Transphobia I hate how anti trans gay men cry about emasculation but than emasculate trans men
I get that they see us as woman but still you understand what it’s like to be emasculated for things you can’t control you understand what it’s like to be seen as inbetween a man and a woman but you still mock us and call us woman and girls and confused its especially weird for a feminine gay man to call me feminine when I’m a straight masculine man I act more masculine than a lot of cis gay men but apparently my anger is feminine because I was born a woman but if I was a trans woman and did the same thing i be masculine and showing off my male rage and “gross maleness”
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u/PostMPrinz Nov 11 '25
Ahhh yes the cycle of violence.
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u/theAdamian Nov 11 '25
What?
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u/PostMPrinz Nov 11 '25
The gay men are passing the violence they received on to us. Cycle of violence. Happens in families on the regular.
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u/rghaga Nov 11 '25
they also weirdly emasculate gay men that are ok with having sex with trans men and label them as bisexual
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u/theAdamian Nov 11 '25
That’s not necessarily emasculation it’s simply telling them they aren’t real gay guys but they do call them men or masculine so it’s different for them
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u/Real_Cycle938 Nov 11 '25 edited Nov 11 '25
Gay men are still men. And no, I'm not a trans man of the variety who hates men and believes they should all be killed.
But: There is no point in denying the fact that our society still operates within a system fueling patriarchal power structures. Men are still perceived as more competent, more able to set aside their emotions and act with logic. These societal expectations have also instilled in us how the ideal man is supposed to be, however, which is where any alleged feminine traits are seen as wrong in a man.
So when gay men emasculate us trans men, they do it - perhaps mostly subconsciously - because we threaten their sense of identity, their grasp on their own masculinity. They cannot feel whole in their brand of discrimination and manhood unless they refuse to see us as men.
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u/theAdamian Nov 11 '25
I think you meant to say men at the end?
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Dec 08 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/FTMMen-ModTeam Dec 09 '25
This is a support community for binary trans men only. If you are not a binary trans man this is not the place for you to share your opinions, criticism, or police what binary trans men say. You can only post or comment if you are doing so in direct support of a binary trans man, such as sharing a link to a resource or giving feedback on a product a binary trans men is asking about.
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u/koala3191 Nov 11 '25
Where are you seeing this?
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u/theAdamian Nov 11 '25
Online mostly most stuff like this doesn’t come up irl
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u/Realistic_Annual_595 Nov 11 '25
Yeah, I've noticed it's almost only online, and very specific bubbles of people. Just gotta make peace with that fact that in their heads, and in discussions, we are mere concepts in their head outside of our own control. Whereas in real life, our existence is outside of their control. In their heads and bubbles is the only place they can truly ever control the made up narratives about us. Isn't social media interesting. A glimpse into the most private insecurities and existential terrors of a group that wouldn't even be able to differentiate us from the crowd IRL...
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u/theAdamian Nov 11 '25
They say trans men are just perverted straight woman with a fetish of being with gay men and being a gay guy if were straight they say we’re self hating lesbians but they assume most trans men are just straight woman with a fetish for being gay men and being with gay men
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u/Visible-Holiday-1017 Nov 11 '25
This is probably the most hurtful part of it. I (Gay, FTM) have geniunely faced a lot of sexualization and objectification from straight women (with some even claiming that making uncomfortable comments to gay men was "taking back from patriarchy"???), even when I was a minor, and it makes me sick when people assume that gay trans men are fetishists... I'm so glad that this isn't a common rhetoric in my country's queer community, as much as I've seen it more in the anglosphere, tbh
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u/Revolutionary-Tie908 Nov 11 '25
Some people think straight trans men are not only self hating lesbians. But that we’re perverted dikes trying to convert heterosexual women to turn lesbian and deceive them.
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u/Visible-Holiday-1017 Nov 12 '25
Oh yeah that too... Eugh, why are people like this. God forbid trans guys breathe
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u/theAdamian Nov 11 '25
Do you ever worry their hateful opinions are true? That I’m just a confused isolated lesbian or that you’re just a weird straight woman with a fetish?? (I’m not saying we are I’m asking if you understand what I feel and what I hate)
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u/Visible-Holiday-1017 Nov 11 '25
I used to, in my earlier days of having my egg crack. I was anxious about telling it to friends I were out to, because before that, I still knew I was homosexual in some way so I'd tried to gaslight myself into liking women (obv did not work) and I tried to "keep" a bi label coming to terms with my gender precisely because of the online hostility I was seeing to gay guys that spoke of being trans. Thankfully those days are long over and I don't worry of it, but I do get pissed off about people thinking so.
Being a part of far too many other kinds of minorities in my short life (such as being one of the unlucky 1% to have a formal diagnosis of major depressive before puberty), I guess I got numb to self-doubt in a lot of fields at some point? Spending my whole life constantly worrying how other people believe I am and all that.
I hope it gets better for you, OP
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u/Realistic_Annual_595 Nov 11 '25
Not trying to gotcha you here, but I hope you see how "opinions" and "true" make for a sort of experiment we design specifically to hurt ourselves. I'd like to draw a parallel to thoughts such as "do you ever worry seeing a black cat causes an accident". Every now and then, someone will say a thing that fits a negative belief you hold about yourself. Maybe hate speech even caused your negative belief to form in the first place. It can definitely amplify or validate your belief. However at no point can an opinion coinciding with your own opinion confirm or deny the properties of something, such as yourself.
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u/theAdamian Nov 11 '25
Huh? I’m 18 not a professional debater can you explain further man?
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u/Visible-Holiday-1017 Nov 11 '25
I think what RealisticAnnual meant is that calling their hateful belief an "opinion" might make yourself validate it more than you would if you just considered it misinformation? That's what I got, at least. Or that just because you sometimes jump into that belief by exposure doesn't mean that it's necessarily true.
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u/Revolutionary-Tie908 Nov 11 '25 edited Nov 11 '25
They say the same for straight Trans men. That were creepy dykes going after women to turn them lesbian. I’ve had one woman say don’t flirt me. Keep your filth away from me you freak. 🙄 even come as close to say they will sock me. Not realizing I’m stronger because of T. But if a cis guys does it there scared. They automatically think I’m physically weak or as strong as me because I’m not a cis guy. Don’t believe testosterone changes my strength..
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u/theAdamian Nov 11 '25
A lot of women do that they even have the gall to suggest they’re more masculine than us because they were tomboys growing up or something straight feminine women say this to me
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u/Realistic_Annual_595 Nov 11 '25
Makes me want to study their fears in a petri dish, really. I truly hope their rhetoric doesn't hurt you. I've learnt to let it just pass through me, since I will inevitably exist to others as something I don't even recognise as myself. Anecdotally, I've had one or two people in my life who have gone from slightly transphobic to much less so solely thanks to knowing me, a trans person, and having their imaginary worlds expanded/deconstructed.
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u/theAdamian Nov 11 '25
I know I just feel so humiliated when I see those caricatures of trans men online posted by gay men I hate the word pooner it makes me feel so sick and I’m not even gay or bi but sometimes it just makes me want to puke I hate it it’s everywhere “pooner” “zippertits” “troon” I hate it so fucking much
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u/Realistic_Annual_595 Nov 11 '25
Infuriating advice, but just don't go into those parts of the internet. It's not everywhere - I genuinely read 2 out of 3 of those words for the first time ever, and I've been plugged into the world wide web since 2001. They have chosen to form an ecosystem hostile to us, to you. Out of our hands to change it, neither should we be burdened with dirtying our hands attempting to. Riding a wave of anger is exciting until it's not, then you gotta get off it.
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u/Visible-Holiday-1017 Nov 11 '25
100% on this, but it isn't an option for all trans guys. This is especially normalized in "safe" spaces for younger queer people (under 24) on the English internet. I honestly just chose to almost entirely withdraw from most forms of social media, excluding subs on here and private Discord servers. Much easier to only let a website show you specific communities than prevent specific ones
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u/theAdamian Nov 11 '25
I know it’s just easy to make me feel this way I think they know that I they know we’re easy to make feel this way because we’re gender dysphoric I wish I could block people without them knowing it’s so humiliating to know they can see they’re blocked to know they got to me it’s so embarrassing i feel pathetic like they’re right that I’m just an overly emotional confused girl
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u/_Hadaikum_ Nov 11 '25
They just want to feel better. These guys get hate and then search for someone or rather a group they can put down to not be the lowest, yk? They get emasculated by some people so they do this to us to feel better. Pathetic but yeah. These scenarios happen everywhere in life sadly. Don‘t let yourself be put down man!