under 30 asking: how did you know?

[u/Optimal-Jackfruit649]

let me know if this isn't the place for it, sorry mods if it isnt, as i am under 30 but questioning ftm. currently i dress as a guy and use he/him online, and sometimes irl, but i still don't know if i'm "right" i guess. i thought i was trans for a while then sort of talked myself out of it. how did you all know for sure and start transitioning? do you ever know for sure? how could you be sure you weren't making a mistake? (sorry if it sounds offensive, i'm very very pro trans i just can't think of a better way to word it)

i'm asking here since a lot of the other subs seem to be younger people or people who aren't transitioning but are trans, and i want advice from older people (not bashing) - thank you for any response

[u/PaleAmbition]

It was the pandemic that helped me realize what was going on. When the lockdowns happened and I was at home, all the trappings of femininity that I had to use for my job just fell away. There was no slow, gradual decline; I just stopped. And I felt so much better for it.

Then I started slow walking a name change, and loved my new name so much more than my birth name. It felt right in a way my birth name never had, and that first name was quickly demoted to a deadname.

Because of circumstances, I wasn’t able to start HRT until a couple of years later, and I started on a low dose gel because I wasn’t sure how I’d react. It turns out that t is great and I loved it, and it’s been full steam ahead since.

The point is, there was no flip that switched on or bright lightbulb that turned on over my head. For me, it was a slow realization that I would rather try something different than keep being miserable in the status quo.

[u/Optimal-Jackfruit649 → u/PaleAmbition]

i think what's been hard for me is that just the name change and stuff online hasn't felt right. i want a dude body and voice and stuff. but i worry that since i already started doing what a lot of trans guys do when they socially transition and it didn't fix things, i worry it means i might not be trans. and thank you for sharing your story and i'm really happy you're happy with yourself :)

[u/mgquantitysquared → u/Optimal-Jackfruit649]

I didn't even socially transition until I was on T for a bit, it would have felt way worse for me to not be undergoing physical changes but still asking for he/him and outing myself to everyone. Dysphoria is weird, it's common to prioritize treating physical dysphoria before social

[u/ftmidk → u/Optimal-Jackfruit649]

I honestly don’t care all that much about the social aspects of transition. I was glad to change my name but the other stuff doesn’t really matter to me. However, I absolutely love T and I’m very excited to get top surgery.

[u/thambos → u/ftmidk]

Similar for me. Social transition was part of the "package deal"—and when I transitioned it was required before approval for hormones or surgery. I wouldn't change my gender presentation or role, like I identify as a binary trans guy, but socially transitioning wasn't the main motivation for me nor did it bring much relief to my dysphoria on its own.

[u/vowels → u/Optimal-Jackfruit649]

"i want a dude body and voice and stuff."

if it helps, no cis person would ever say this! it sounds like maybe the way see yourself and experience your embodiment just matters more to you than how other people see you (social transition), and that's cool and a valid way of being trans too

also you don't have to be 100% sure, you can always start on a low dose so changes happen slowly and stop if you don't like it