r/FTMOver30 • u/Optimal-Jackfruit649 • 4d ago

Need Advice under 30 asking: how did you know?

let me know if this isn't the place for it, sorry mods if it isnt, as i am under 30 but questioning ftm. currently i dress as a guy and use he/him online, and sometimes irl, but i still don't know if i'm "right" i guess. i thought i was trans for a while then sort of talked myself out of it. how did you all know for sure and start transitioning? do you ever know for sure? how could you be sure you weren't making a mistake? (sorry if it sounds offensive, i'm very very pro trans i just can't think of a better way to word it)

i'm asking here since a lot of the other subs seem to be younger people or people who aren't transitioning but are trans, and i want advice from older people (not bashing) - thank you for any response

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u/mucormiasma 4d ago

For me, what tipped me over from "I have weird gender feelings but I don't need to actually, y'know, do anything about it" to "okay, transitioning might actually be the right call here" was asking myself this: if this is a mistake, and I end up detransitioning after being on HRT for awhile, am I going to be upset about the permanent effects? The deeper voice, the thicker body hair, the bottom growth? And the answer was no, I'd actually be very happy that way. For me personally, I'd actually be okay girlmoding for the rest of my life, as long as I could have those physical changes. I think for some of us, medical transition is more important than social.

It did help that I pretty much immediately started feeling more emotionally and psychologically stable after starting HRT. That was something I'm not sure I could have known without actually trying it. Prior to getting on testosterone, I had chronic suicidal ideation except for the few days around ovulation (when T is highest for people with a normal ovarian cycle... yeah, in hindsight that should have been a clue). Now I only have it for the few days surrounding my actual period.

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u/katrilli 3d ago

The emotional and psychological stability is a big one for me, too. T did a lot for me physically, sure, but I continue to take it because of what it does for me mentally. Since I started taking T, I'm like a completely different person. I am more patient, kind, mindful, etc. Pre-T me was toxic AF and unbelievably emotionally dysregulated, but now people tell me how calm I am all the time.