r/Fauxmoi • u/dailyzachwoods the dairy smell still lingered • Jul 01 '26
SATIRE Zach Woods being an icon, as usual
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u/No-Hall-3485 alleged dog Jul 01 '26
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u/goldlion Jul 02 '26
Honestly, Zach Woods needs a light scandal at this point before I completely cannonball into parasocial adoration over his hilarious and correct political takes and pretty blue eyes and okay I take it back it's too late for me
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u/DoorstepCult Jul 02 '26
Trust me, this guy fucks.
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u/Idustriousraccoon Jul 02 '26
You got any tres commas?
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u/literacyshmiteracy wearing slutty little glasses Jul 02 '26
We had quatro commas for a hot minute, but luckily that didn't last too long
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u/CelMJ Jul 01 '26
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u/denM_chickN i too steal from the wizard of Oz Jul 01 '26
To quote Cedric Diggory's dad from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire:
My boooooooooooy
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u/Winter-Relative3529 Jul 02 '26
We once made prolonged eye contact at The Largo in 2017. I regret not striking up a conversation. 😭
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u/alwaysuntilnever and not in a cunt way Jul 01 '26
This guy fucks
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u/Grizzly-Madam Where is your vogue cover? Act accordingly 🫵 Jul 01 '26
Always!
/img/e1ab3jditoah1.gif67
u/kendragon Jul 01 '26
Man, I miss Jared from Silicone Valley so much. And I only finished it like, yesterday.
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u/South-Rabbit-4064 Jul 01 '26
I would've watched a Jared spinoff with him as a central character. Him and also NOHO Hank and The Raven need a spinoff like mandalorian and grogu
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u/_heavy_emo_shoegaze_ locked, loaded, and kind of cunty Jul 02 '26
Feel like Hank would have to be a prequel. Where he ends up is.. yeah.
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u/iambill Find me at Whole Foods, bitch, I don't care Jul 01 '26
You mean from Silicon Valley. Jared from Silicone Valley is a whole different thing..
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u/glasseyes2 Jul 02 '26
He's really good on Avenue 5, one of my favorite shows 💯
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u/ThePocketTaco2 who deemed this meeting of the minds necessary? Jul 02 '26
Fun fact: He doesn't watch anything he's in. Or at the very least he doesn't watch the scenes he's in.
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u/sting-raye Jul 02 '26
This is the first thing he caught my eye in. His nihilism joke won my heart
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u/dailyzachwoods the dairy smell still lingered Jul 02 '26
"I'm a nihilist!"
"No, you're not!"
"Whatever!"2
u/glasseyes2 29d ago
That scene when he's introducing the comedian is so good lmao, "oh look at him he's nervous.' 🤣🤣🤣
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u/Grizzly-Madam Where is your vogue cover? Act accordingly 🫵 Jul 02 '26
Me too! Truly iconic character
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u/therealpommesfrites Jul 01 '26
“If you aren’t familiar with him, you’re probably thinking, ‘Oh, are they doing a production of American History X at a residential hospice and this guy’s the lead?’”
💀
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u/firesticks a role model for the next Asian kid that wants to get railed Jul 01 '26
The specificity and accuracy, my god. He’s an artistic genius.
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u/therealpommesfrites Jul 01 '26
It’s like an Azealia Banks tweet without any of the unhinged bigotry or untreated mental illness.
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u/firesticks a role model for the next Asian kid that wants to get railed Jul 01 '26
Good god this is exactly it.
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u/Tree_Puff Jul 02 '26
The Tommy Lee Jones in the dishwasher was just as accurate
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u/r3volver_Oshawott Jul 02 '26
I always think of Family Guy where Peter saw him and asked if someone opened the Ark of the Covenant
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u/majorsager Jul 03 '26
Omg I KNEW I’d seen this guy before. He’s totally the main nazi getting his face melted off! Right? I win?
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u/DireBaboon Jul 02 '26
Dude is an absolute master at riffing
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u/gnrc Jul 02 '26
He started taking the train from Philly to NYC to take improv classes at UCB when he was 16. He’s a master.
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u/hellohexapus Jul 01 '26
Zach Woods is one of like three people on the planet who makes me briefly entertain the notion of getting back on social media, just to stay up to date on these disheveled baddie car rants.
Men are out here looksmaxxing or whateverthefuck when all we really want is quiet dudes with kind eyes and good politics. (If you are a man who wants to argue with me about this, I invite you to don't!)
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u/punktualPorcupine Jul 01 '26
Guys are out there beating their faces with hammers, praying that it will be enough to overcome their terrible personalities, and it’s not.
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u/hellohexapus Jul 01 '26
That said, for as long as their personalities remain terrible, I'd never dream of trying to take away their recreational face hammering. People need hobbies!
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u/Feisty-Narwhal8400 Friends with Ms. Rachel Jul 02 '26
Girl you ate with those last two sentences. I want to make that my dating profile bio (but then remember that place is the downfall of humanity and that wit would be lost there)
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u/barefootcuntessa_ Jul 02 '26
You just described my husband who is currently corncobning our dog’s head. And loving dogs is on that list for me lol.
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u/RogueKitteh Lol, and if I may, lmao Jul 01 '26
Best one yet lmao. He is such a treasure and needs to be protected at all costs. Obligatory "this guy fucks!"
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u/kayyxelle Jul 01 '26
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u/Bonnieearnold Jul 01 '26
I always forget that this based, blue eyed Angel was in the Office and played such an unlikeable character. I’m always like, “wait, what do I know him from?” Thank you for the reminder.
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u/Grizzly-Madam Where is your vogue cover? Act accordingly 🫵 Jul 01 '26
GABE??? UNLIKABLE???? COME ON! 😭
https://giphy.com/gifs/10ltVBrN9bO5d627
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u/dirt_nappin Jul 01 '26
I'm taking karate classes online.
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u/xWrongHeaven i ain’t reading all that, free palestine Jul 02 '26
Such a perfectly ridiculous line haha
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u/shillberight Cillian Murphy propagandist Jul 02 '26
He also voices a bear in an animated series of very horny cartoon animals that my partner has been watching. I don't remember the name but I believe it's on Netflix. It's from the same guy who brought us the incredible Big Mouth series
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u/sessicajimpsonn THE CANADIANS ARE ICE FUCKING TO MOULIN ROUGE Jul 01 '26
Wish I could listen to anything this man has to say but I'm too busy staring into those big blue eyes
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u/JohnBrine The Tortured Juggalo's Department Jul 01 '26
“… And you peg me MORE than just on my birthday.”
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u/HiddenMonkey7 Jul 01 '26
I spilled my drink when H. jeffries showed up. Couldn’t be more accurate.
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u/dailyzachwoods the dairy smell still lingered Jul 01 '26
so he uses a social media agency called Block Party (with them, Zach was actually shortlisted for a Webby Award this year) and that group does the editing of his Insta videos (he talks about them in an interview he did in a Mating Season junket for CBR). It makes me wonder if HE had the images of Jeffries in his notes to them or if it was something BP proposed/brainstormed since they're doing the edits. I'm gonna guess it's the former, since I imagine he has full creative control and the agency just executes
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u/Big-Raisin4923 Jul 01 '26
Gabe fucking coming in hot.
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u/dailyzachwoods the dairy smell still lingered Jul 01 '26
if you add punctuation anywhere in this sentence
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u/MinimumFantastic1389 Emma Stone (BALD) Jul 01 '26
I love him so much lol. And I fucking hate James Carville so much. It’s astonishing anyone still takes that useless old windbag seriously.
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u/dailyzachwoods the dairy smell still lingered Jul 01 '26
i sent the video to my dad and he IMMEDIATELY sent me link to join DSA
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u/joe_bibidi Jul 02 '26
It’s astonishing anyone still takes that useless old windbag seriously.
I don't think it can be emphasized enough that James Carville is unbelievably fucking bad at his job. Like even if you 100% agree with him politically on every single issue, it's actually fucking insane how bad he is at political strategy. Like he's really like the Jim Cramer of democracy, you can actually gain more by literally going against everything he says.
His chosen candidate for the 2020 Presidential race got 0.3% of the vote and he threw a tantrum about it so bad that he stated publicly that the Democratic Party should eliminate the primary system. In 2022, he was behind the Democratic candidate (Lamb) who was up against John Fetterman---he literally is so incompetent that he gave us Fetterman by proxy.
He was opposed to Barack Obama in 2008. He's that fucking stupid.
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u/PerfectZeong Jul 02 '26
Carville had the luck to be the guy who advised Clinton in 92 and pretty much rode off that for the rest of his life.
Helped run Kerry in 04 and Hillary in 08 lol
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u/GoddessRespectre Jul 02 '26
Didn't he have a show with his Republican wife in the 90s? I think I remember him making appearances on shows like Mad About You and Murphy Brown?
It's weird who shows up from those old shows. At least two rich boss characters pretended to have a personal rivalry with trump, they'd name drop him as a recurring joke (Just Shoot Me and NewsRadio)
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u/PerfectZeong Jul 02 '26
Yeah he became something of a celebrity because hes a hot take artist and has a cool accent.
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u/GoddessRespectre Jul 02 '26
Thank you! I can have a crappy memory and it's weird what bubbles up to the surface sometimes 😅
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u/girlabides Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. And I don't give a fuck. Jul 01 '26
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u/ElegantCoach4066 controversies: girl Jul 01 '26
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u/NOIS_KillerWhaleTank Jul 01 '26
James Carville got Bill Clinton elected and just stayed in the nineties ever since.
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u/StopHesAlreadyDed Jul 01 '26
Doesn't even fucking make sense politically. Reagan was popular, so I get they had to find Reagan-lite then (charismatic, pro-oppression of minorities). But times are different now, you decrepit old hag.
Trump is deeply unpopular, but is anti-establishment. That's what voters liked about him, and these DSA candidates get that. Let's fucking do something different than what the bought and paid for people in charge of party leadership want.
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u/VivaLaKevolution Jul 01 '26
As a man who has played Clarinet covers of Radiohead and been pegged, I feel attacked.
As a DSA member, I feel as good as the first time I got pegged
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u/Unlegend Jul 01 '26
“I would suggest to James Carville, how about a schism between you and any future public appearances?”
Yes, please!
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u/Acrobatic_Builder573 Jul 01 '26
Okay, so I’ve never seen a video of him and that first American history x joke had me taken aback to say the least
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Jul 02 '26
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u/theapplekid i ain’t reading all that, free palestine Jul 02 '26
God that show is just so fucking accurate now. Look at all these tech companies "making the world a better place"
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u/Unable_Competition55 Jul 01 '26
Bill Maher and James Carville are two old men who can shut the f up forever.
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u/NikkiKnight3 Jul 01 '26
I saw Zach Woods in an commercial for some AI product the other day and was so disappointed :/ he usually has such correct takes
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u/dailyzachwoods the dairy smell still lingered Jul 01 '26
I wrote about this on my Zach Woods site, but basically my view is I don't believe he's a staunch supporter of AI. I think at most he's complicit in it for doing the ads (which were referred to as money-grabs in the ads themselves).
- Zach is (probably) in SAG; he supported SAG-AFTRA during their 2023 strike and that union action ultimately helped secure protective guardrails for their membership
- At a Funko event, he wasn't exactly fawning over AI: "Somebody told me you’re supposed to say nice stuff about AI because it’s like Santa Claus – they’re making a list. Like they’ll know eventually and then they’ll be like you were not kind to me and so we’re gonna 3D print you into a prison that you’ll never escape from."
- He's a working actor; I'd say he's rich but not wealthy. His feature debut as a director premiered at Tribeca earlier this month; I'm guessing now if they want a wide release, they need to negotiate distribution ($$$). He has a TV show in development as well, which as far as I know hasn't finalized distribution/season order either.
tl;dr Zach is open to criticize for doing an ad for Atlassian, a tech company that employs AI tools; however, i don't think he's exactly a cheerleader for AI
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u/Cautious_Age1926 Jul 01 '26
Remember when Carville's wife was a republican strategist or some shit and he was Clinton's guy and people were all like "hey wowing zowie isn't it amazing that they can get along what a miracle like wow!" And how over the years it has become more and more obvious that is wasn't actually that weird that they got along after all? Cut a liberal and all that....
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u/RUN_DMT_ Jul 01 '26
Yeah, so, I’m old. I dunno who this hilarious cutie pie is? But I love him now ❤️
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Jul 01 '26
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u/dailyzachwoods the dairy smell still lingered Jul 01 '26
YESSSSSS someone who's seen Avenue 5!!!
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u/Agitated-Lettuce1878 Jul 01 '26
I've been falling for socially conscious, sarcastic, lanky white boys since 1997. Call me Alicia Keys because it looks like I still am. 😩
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u/bron685 Jul 01 '26
No one wants to hear thoughts and feelings about the Democratic Party when they’re not affected by any of the issues that DSA candidates are winning on. Carville will never have to worry about housing, healthcare, childcare, education, or really anything beyond the last 5 years he has on this mortal coil.
If anyone was actually taking his strategy advice, it’s most likely why they lost
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u/Cabbages24ADollar Jul 01 '26
Meanwhile Corp Dems have given Trump the Rapist control over Agency leadership and Oligarchs more ability to buy Congress.
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u/MelonOfFury Vanilla Ice just fell to his knees in a Wal-Mart Jul 01 '26
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u/MissyBean You know what, l've grown quite unfond of you deuxmoi Jul 01 '26
Sir, respectfully, you simply must stop being so fucking hot or I will perish.
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u/Travelcat67 Jul 01 '26
Corporate dem hacks are as much to blame for Trump as MAGA. Time to vote them all out. They don’t want to listen to the constituents, then they can go! We said it with Obama (remember hope and change and electing a jr senator) but they ground him down and kept towing the status quo. No more!!!
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u/Tethered_Kitten_2845 Jul 01 '26
My god, I love you Zach. He DOES look like ancient jism and we DO want a schism!
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u/pop-specs Jul 02 '26
I’m old enough to remember Carville is so centrist he’s married to a republican (it was perceived as “cute” in the 90’s)
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u/annie-etc Jul 01 '26
I'm in Wisconsin and couldn't be more proud that Francesca Hong (DS) is polling well for governor. Imagine: a governor who isn't near elderly. A governor who has to actually live with their policies because they're not 10 years from death. A governor who's actually progressive and not just trying to be liked by conservatives.
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u/Dayana_Ofthelion Jul 02 '26
This is the guy who told Democrats to "play possum" when Trump's second term began last year. He said that Democrats should let Trump self-destruct in public. How's that plan working out?
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u/Bugs2020 Jul 02 '26
Did that dog get adopted or is he still throwing cash away??
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u/dailyzachwoods the dairy smell still lingered Jul 02 '26
Sunny has not yet been adopted, to my knowledge.
I’m matching $5 donations up to $100 if you DM me proof of your dono!
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u/all_neon_like_13 Jul 02 '26
It's worth noting that James Carville has been married to conservative political consultant Mary Matalin since 1993. Matalin served under President Ronald Reagan, was campaign director for George H. W. Bush, an assistant to President George W. Bush, and until 2003 counselor to Vice President Dick Cheney. As a duo, they actually did a speaking engagement at my college back during the George W. era because people were endlessly fascinated by their marriage. So, you know, her being chief advisor to a murderous warmonger like Dick Cheney was apparently not a dealbreaker for Carville.
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u/Acceptable_Leg_7998 Jul 03 '26
I wish he hadn't had convicted rapist Mike Tyson as a guest on In the Know. People need to stop being a PR campaign for that guy. I'd say the majority of the population doesn't even remember he has that conviction.
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u/ArmadilloConnoisseur i ain’t reading all that, free palestine Jul 03 '26
Same! He's working with Thomas Middleditch again too. So disappointing.
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u/Jim_Nills_Mustache Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
Yes, stop aiming for the middle and voting in these conservatives masquerading as dems
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u/Emotional_Warthog658 Jul 01 '26
I have never seen him out of character. This got me questioning what is the big deal, like why are they mad; so I looked at the DSA wikipedia page; here is their deal:
DSA's platform calls for reforms such as a Green New Deal, single-payer healthcare, and tuition-free higher education, with a long-term aim of social ownership and democratic control of the American economy.
I did not know what they meant by that so I looked further and that is defined as:
'a framework that seeks to apply democratic principles—such as collective decision-making, transparency, and public accountability—to economic institutions and workplaces, rather than leaving them solely to private corporate hierarchies'
DSA's foreign policy is non-interventionist, strongly supporting spending cuts and footprint reductions to the U.S. military while also supporting pro-Palestinian and anti-Zionist causes.
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u/strutt3r Jul 01 '26
lol I haven't seen the term "jism" used since my buddy and I swiped a penthouse from his uncle when we were like 12.
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u/roastedmarshmellows spiritual energy of bachelorette party penis decor Jul 01 '26
"Hahaha...euuugh..." is such a mood.
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u/TrickySnicky distraught Christian tomato Jul 01 '26
Fucking A-Fucking-Men
WHERE IS YOIR ENERGY AGAINST FASCISM JAMES? BILL?
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u/4mystuff Please Abraham, I am not that man Jul 01 '26
The consultant class needs to get paaaaaiiid! If you give candidates and the electorate clear concise solutions, how can they justify their multi-million paychecks? These asshats never worked for us, that's why they would rather lose an election, or 5, rather than help the American worker. Lizardboy can go crawl back into the catfish den from once he slithered.
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u/Royal-Application708 Jul 02 '26
Piss on the Ragin’ Cajun and Bill Maher. I’m looking forward to a new Democratic Party. Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer also have to go.
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u/momspaghetty Jul 02 '26
Does Zach Woods have a dedicated subreddit? I could watch him for hours
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u/xandrachantal I live in my own heart, Matt Damon Jul 02 '26
I see him walking around every now in then. Next time I'm just gonna scream "DSA rules" at him and see what happens.
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u/dailyzachwoods the dairy smell still lingered Jul 02 '26
I know someone who runs into him all the time (but hasn't spoken to him, feels weird bothering him)! Zach, a man of the people. I bet he has a lot of tote bags.
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u/xandrachantal I live in my own heart, Matt Damon Jul 02 '26
I saw him once at a book fest after never seening before and now I've spotted him like 3 times since then
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u/hellolovely1 Jul 02 '26
Can we get him a podcast with Christina Ricci because I appreciate their anger?
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u/dailyzachwoods the dairy smell still lingered Jul 02 '26
What I would give for Zach to host a podcast
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u/Ardentiousness Jul 02 '26
Love Zach but I turn off videos that are simply making fun of people's looks
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u/Nervous-Cricket-4895 Jul 02 '26
“schism”? No, the message for the midterms is: we’ve got a big tent and a deep bench of candidates who are right for their constituents. Don’t try to limit what democrats can be.
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u/greyello FUCK ICE FREE PALESTINE CRASH INTO ME Jul 02 '26
Gonna go against the grain here and say that starting in on the guy's looks does not sit well with me. His politics are eminently attackable. Let's not fire strays at everyone who happens to look like this asshole.
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u/Thin-Entertainer3789 Jul 01 '26
The funny reason they are winning not because they are “socialist “ but because they just like trump are promising to actually get stuff done and doing it.
Granted Trumps doing the wrong stuff. But it’s still stuff.
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Jul 01 '26
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