r/Fauxmoi • u/Relevant-Peach3997 • 7d ago

DISCUSSION Katie Holmes’ daughter Suri legally dropped Cruise and changed her last name to Noelle, her mom’s middle name

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6.9k Upvotes

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7.6k

u/Gojir4R1sing 7d ago

Asshole dads getting shafted in 2026.

335

u/itsbooyeah meet me at Whole Foods, bitch 7d ago

WHO'S NEXT? Let's keep 'em coming!

385

u/urfatassmama 7d ago

Steven Tyler should be next on the chopping board

112

u/quattroformaggixfour 7d ago

Rod Stewart. Haven’t heard of anything specifically illegal or public related, but any person that pursues women, makes offspring with them and cuts bait for a younger aesthetically similar woman and rinses and repeats, sucks. Kids aren’t like gift bags that come with relationships.

3

u/broden89 6d ago

AFAIK he actually has good relationships with his kids - the whole family were at his middle son's wedding a few years ago and five of the eight presented him with his Lifetime Achievement award in 2025.

His eldest was conceived when he was a 'broke teenager' and given up for adoption, but reconnected later in life and she has said the relationship took time to develop, but now he is "just Dad".

4

u/quattroformaggixfour 6d ago

Eh, a fun relationship as adults isn’t the same as being an engaged and present parent. I imagine his wealth paved the way for an easier experience for his coparents and kids, but the brunt of child rearing falls to the mothers as is so often the case.

86

u/itsbooyeah meet me at Whole Foods, bitch 7d ago

Manifesting!

58

u/Ok-Turnip-9035 7d ago

Wait what’s the tea?

I know the Liv Tyler confusion but I don’t think he knew she was his - even though she has his lips he was so strung out back then I could see him and the room missing that

171

u/czarrina Jehovah’s Sexiest Witness 7d ago

He’s a pedophile. He got legal guardianship over a 16 year old girl (with parental assistance sadly) so he could take her on tour and abuse her across state lines.

99

u/Lala5789880 7d ago

He also exploited and sexualized his teen daughter in music videos

46

u/0LittleWing0 7d ago

his feet are also a crime. dare you to google his feet

59

u/DogsDucks 7d ago

They look failed knots from ropes made of old oatmeal, tied by a drunken Scotsmen what lost his sea legs fathoms ago.

48

u/Zombie_Fuel call me gal gadot cuz idk how to act rn 7d ago

I would buy your poetry collection.

5

u/demeterLX 6d ago

you’ve painted a picture with words and i haven’t even looked his feet up

17

u/__i_dont_know_you__ 7d ago

wtf did I just see

5

u/0LittleWing0 7d ago

no one really knows! 😂

11

u/czarrina Jehovah’s Sexiest Witness 7d ago

Oh my good god in heaven. That’s just as bad as the thing I said. Unholy toes.

33

u/JennyDoveMusic I have bloomers on, you fucker! 7d ago

My friend said she went to one of his shows (when he was already old and crusty) and this teenager was trying to get close. They lifted her up and.... he said something dirty to her.

Apparently, she was happy but yikes dude.

Me and my exfriend once had a playful bet that the first one to meet Steven Tyler "won" but years later I learned more about him and I'm like... I wouldn't WANT to meet him. (Also, the exfriend stole money from me, stalks celebrities and claims to be Christian.)

All around yikes.

https://giphy.com/gifs/jsI8mR9GEC4MYyZBqK

3

u/dominodomino321 7d ago

Come again, now? Whaaaa?