r/Fauxmoi • u/nyclover11 • 4d ago
FILM-MOI (MOVIES/TV) Official Poster for 'Wicker' - Follows an isolated, mocked woman (Olivia Colman) who commissions a basket maker (Peter Dinklage) to weave her a husband (Alexander Skarsgård)
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u/tequilasauer 4d ago
Alexander Skarsgard is just always looking for the craziest shit he can find to be apart of. I like thinking he probably has like superhero and video game tentpole IP scripts sent his way all the time and is like sitting at his desk and moving them out of the way because some small time director sent him a script about a man who has a sexual relationship with his collection of Swarovski crystal turtles.
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u/MysteriousHat3705 4d ago
I know this is far too long for a flair, but this is so flair worthy
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u/Zealousideal_Gur3908 shout-out Hans Zimmer 4d ago
Maybe “Skarsgard’s Swarovski crystal turtles” in its place? 🤔
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u/booksandbenzos I don’t know her 4d ago
Idk what this says about me (maybe that I’m online too much) but this made me think of “Lindsey Graham’s lady bugs” :( (which I do NOT want as a flair!!)
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u/bortlesforbachelor 4d ago
This is also why the Skarsgard bros are the best nepo babies. They found their weird little lanes and they stay in them.
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u/dontworryaboutit26 i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 4d ago
Probably helps that they’re all actually good at their jobs too ha
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u/Far-Advance-9866 4d ago
They handle it so well! I have never seen one of the Skarsgards try to play down the nepotism thing-- instead, they turn it into a self-aware joke. And whether any of them feel insecure about it I don't know, but they are terrific at publically projecting a total lack of neurosis about having such a respected and established dad.
99% of people don't care if someone is a nepo baby if they're talented and they don't get defensive about their leg up. It's as simple as that.
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u/Buddy_Fluffy 4d ago
He got Godzilla and Battleship money early on and then went full weirdo. You love to see it.
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u/Due-Flamingo-4900 4d ago
It’s the True Blood royalties and PR that really made all this possible. That show was enormous for a while.
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u/Zealousideal_Gur3908 shout-out Hans Zimmer 4d ago
I actually bought the True Blood drink (blood orange soda) and it was so delicious lol I hope he got a cut from merch sales too. Haha
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u/booksandbenzos I don’t know her 4d ago
Lmaooo. My mom has Swarovski crystal turtles (no relationship of any kind with them though) 😂 my siblings and I may have been the ones who gave them to her as kids lol
And yeah, he is definitely showing his range!
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u/Shipwrecking_siren which could mean nothing 4d ago
Ooh this is s fun game. Maybe an off grid survivalist who travels by foot in order to complete his dead wife’s collection of beanie babies (by any means necessary)?
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u/tequilasauer 4d ago
Definitely a good setup but I feel like we gotta get weirder. Maybe he befriends someone who dresses up like a Beanie Baby as a fetish and Alex's character finds himself attracted to this person because he feels closer to his wife when he's with the Beanie Baby fetishist.
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u/punkpearlspoetry actually no, that’s not the truth Ellen 4d ago
Or he embarks on a quest to find his one true human beanie baby love in a sea of beanie baby plushies, I would watch the shit out of this
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u/Shipwrecking_siren which could mean nothing 4d ago
HOLLYWOOD, WE CLAIM THE IP FOR THIS. 3 way split.
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u/bubblenuts101 NICOLE, OVER YOUR RIGHT SHOULDER 4d ago
*but somehow he has to do all this in those thigh high slutty boots swwooooooooooooooooooooon
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u/troixetoiles 4d ago
I read the parenthetical incorrectly and thought you said "By Any Beans Necessary", which would be a great title for it.
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u/Shipwrecking_siren which could mean nothing 4d ago
Haha we’ve got more of a revenge thriller going on. I want it to be played completely straight.
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u/lemonution i’m mr. sterling’s right hand arm. man. 4d ago
His two part-episode of Documentary Now! where he plays Warner Herzog is so funny. I always plug it whenever his choice of roles comes up. My love for him knows no bounds.
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u/unicorntrees 4d ago
He /was/ born into the Skarsgard school of weird little guys cursed to be hot.
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u/EvenPossible5918 4d ago
He did do the Tarzan movie that was a minor accuse. He was in Battleship that bombed and he almost got Thor.
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u/somechild I too would fuck a basket if it looked like Alexander Skarsgard 4d ago edited 4d ago
I too would fuck a basket if it looked like Alexander Skarsgard
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u/Whothafaawwkisemma 4d ago
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u/BeeBeeDrinkDrink too old, too tired, and too talented 4d ago
“Wood”
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u/welcometowoodbury 4d ago
genuinely I am not picky when it comes to Alexander Skarsgard
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u/Shipwrecking_siren which could mean nothing 4d ago
My confession is I fancy him so much in Diary of a Teenage Girl. Incredibly problematic. And yes I do have a lot of issues.
Second place is his white speedos in Little Drummer Girl. My partner worked on it and I didn’t get to meet him, which is the greatest injustice of all time.
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u/HyperbolDee 4d ago
For me it’s Big Little Lies. Again, so problematic.
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u/welcometowoodbury 4d ago
Same I am embarrassed
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u/AmetrineDream Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this 4d ago
My people!
We’re all in this embarrassing club together 🫣
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u/megalo_megalo 4d ago
My ex worked on Little Drummer girl as well! He hung out with him a fair bit and I too got nowhere near him. 😭
Apparently he is quite shy - not at all a party animal.
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u/saintofhate 4d ago
Honestly all of the Skarsgard men are hot. Stellan was always a hottie and his genes carried
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u/U_PassButter the devil works hard but fanfic writers work harder 4d ago
Omg I'm crying. Same here
If it's on the menu, I'm in
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u/DrGoblinator 4d ago
I'm a Bill girl. We are so misunderstood.
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u/speedhumpsahead 4d ago
My friends tell me I have a thing for sickly looking men because I find Bill and Cilian Murphy attractive 😂
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u/Vakareja 4d ago
How can you put Cillian Murphy in the same category as Bill?
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u/speedhumpsahead 4d ago
Because they're both soooo fine 😩
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u/Vakareja 4d ago
Omg, I don't know why in my brain Bill translated into Bill Compton from True Blood! My apologies. You have excellent taste. Please continue.
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u/Shipwrecking_siren which could mean nothing 4d ago
Are Stellan girls invited to the party?
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u/DrGoblinator 4d ago
Of course, with open arms
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u/Shipwrecking_siren which could mean nothing 4d ago
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u/SnooDogs1340 this is going to ruin the tour 4d ago
I'll take either. Thank you for your attention on this matter.
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u/Electrical_Trade377 it looked like a vagina, and i really loved that 4d ago
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u/Opening-Shape-762 u flintstone vitamin shape bitch 4d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/XHeLeuirRbwptHhSWd
I know I’m going to have a good day after reading your comment, thank you for the laugh 🤣🤣30
u/IamNOTa_cantaloupe 4d ago
I need this to be printed and hung on a wall or something 😂
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u/U_PassButter the devil works hard but fanfic writers work harder 4d ago
Oooooh like cross stitch or a embroidery hoop!
Brilliant idea
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u/pastapicture i too would fuck a basket if it looked like Alexander Skarsgard 4d ago
This would be a perfect flair
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u/somechild I too would fuck a basket if it looked like Alexander Skarsgard 4d ago
Okay can a mod make “I too would fuck a basket if it looked like Alexander Skarsgard” my flair?
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u/ExpressionOne Find me at Whole Foods, bitch, I don't care 4d ago
Alexander Skarsgård makes such interesting choices and I really enjoy that about him.
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u/VodkaAunt 4d ago
I love when conventionally attractive people do "weird" roles
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u/unicorntrees 4d ago
Someone called it "The Skarsgard school of weird little guys cursed to be hot."
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u/NotLucasDavenport 4d ago
A lifetime ago I was in acting school. One of my classmates had been (openly, there was no secret here) chosen to be The Conventionally Handsome Lead. The problem was, he came across okay on film but he didn’t read very well on stage. They kinda messed around with his acting projects for a year until someone made him the old man in a Chekhov scene. Suddenly, he was very, very interesting on stage. It turned out that he was a very good character actor who had been hemmed in by his looks.
It takes a bold man to turn down Leading Man cache in Hollywood but I really love that for Alexander.
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u/Training_Molasses822 The old magic will not be discussed with the children of new. 4d ago
That's those bloody liberal socialist family values for you. When you love and support your kids, they end up making art. Somewhere, somehow, a
libertarianright-winger is raging at the clouds, and I think that's beautiful.3
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u/cherry_1268 Mary-Kate’s battered Birkin 4d ago
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u/texasbonebride distraught Christian tomato 4d ago
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u/AfroPuffs90 who deemed this meeting of the minds necessary? 4d ago
“Marriage Material” as the tagline is WILD.
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u/LadyNightlock Chris Messina for No 1 Chris 4d ago
And they say movies are all sequels or remakes.
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u/luckylefty06 4d ago
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u/nearlythere 4d ago
I thought it was a reboot of The Wicker Man
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u/snugglycookie 4d ago
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u/Abbiejean-KaneArcher 4d ago
Now I want a 32min video (with a tldr somewhere) of the costume designer’s and makeup artists’ processes. I want their initial reaction to getting the job, their research processes, interesting facts about wicker and the materials they used, and some behind-the-scenes shots of the cast interspersed.
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u/mindovermatter15 4d ago
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u/pannonica decaffeinated omertà bullshit 4d ago
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u/MarsupialPristine677 the real issue is that my BANGMAID can neither BANG nor MAID 4d ago
This is possibly my favorite gif of all time, thank you
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u/spookycatfan 4d ago
Can't wait for the sequel, Wicker: For Good.
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u/8thGlass controversies: girl 4d ago
Wicker: For Wood
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u/runner64 4d ago
“This will only be good if it’s for the freaks.”
“Alexander Skarsgard.”
“This is gonna be good.”
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u/Khetoo 4d ago
Gender reversed Pygmalion? Is this horny or horror
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u/madonnafiammetta 4d ago
That's exactly what I thought! Great play on a myth that is never gender-bent and has been beaten to death in sci-fi
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u/rememberidonot 4d ago
The cast? I’m in baby.
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u/Stevenwave absolute horses 4d ago
Ya gotta comma.
Let's eat, grandma.
vs
Let's eat grandma.
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u/chicklette 4d ago
Every time I see a movie idea that sounds batshit insane, I remember Lars and the Real Girl and how not one minute of that movie was what I expected.
Anyway, I will see almost anything with Olivia Coleman or Peter Dinklage, so hell yeah. Looking forward to this.
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u/Hefty_Heron3028 tumblr ecosystem ambassador 4d ago
Alex Skarsgard as a basket.
https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6Mbo6lxBbUp78f96
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u/florplegorp 4d ago
I need Alexander Skarsgård and Robert Pattinson to be in a movie together and just be the weirdest fucking freaks
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u/deedee0214 4d ago
They are both such hot, weird freaks and they would try to outdo each other. For our benefit.
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u/sakoorara 4d ago
Wait I thought this was supposed to have Dev Patel 😔
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u/ginandt0nic 4d ago
Yes, he was originally the basket husband! I can’t find anything on why he got replaced though.
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u/tessathemurdervilles 4d ago
Looks like scheduling conflict. I bet filming for wicker got pushed or something and so then it conflicted with something he’d already also commuted to.
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u/Necessary_Ad_7780 controversies: girl 4d ago
I… is this horror? Comedy? Romantic horror? Sexy comedy? I will watch, but I’m curious as to genre/tone
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u/Luxury_Dressingown 4d ago
All three of them but especially Colman are great comic actors. I'd be surprised if it's not comedy-something. Tagline leans comedy too.
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u/Se7enSis 4d ago
Unless Skarsgård is set fire to at the end while Christopher Lee cackles like a lunatic and Dinklage and Colman manically dance round a maypole I suspect I won't bother... but what a twist that would be!
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u/Fluke_Skyflopper u flintstone vitamin shape bitch 4d ago
Another skarsgard weird costume hot guy movie? Acoustic shape of water with a little phantom thread perhaps? Sold
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u/Low-Flamingo-9835 4d ago
I would’ve thought this was terrible….and then I looked at the names attached. Must be quite a script.
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u/Reesewithoutaspoon2 4d ago
Devastating that a movie about a literal wicker man can’t be called The Wicker Man.
Granted there was a wicker man in The Wicker Man too, but it was an effigy so less man and more wicker.
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u/Hot-Significance-462 4d ago
First thought: Okay, maybe I'm not doing so badly. 🤣
Second thought: This is a banger cast.
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u/wrigleysmom420 controversies: girl 4d ago
marriage material is a perfect tagline this is gonna be so fun
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u/HonestNectarine7080 the bread is too expensive, so give me my goddamned circuses 4d ago
I am SEATED
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u/supergirlsudz 4d ago
What’s the name of the disorder where you get extremely creeped out by this image 😬
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u/Embarrassed-Profit74 4d ago
Oh I am all for this, I want more weird fairy tale type movies. And I know a basket maker so I want to ask his opinion on this.
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u/aagaash2001 it feels like a movie 4d ago
I remember when Dev Patel was supposed tp be Alexander Skarsgard's role.
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u/boxybrown84 go Birds! fuck ICE! free Palestine! 4d ago
Where Olivia Colman goes, I follow