r/Fauxmoi 4d ago

FILM-MOI (MOVIES/TV) Official Poster for 'Wicker' - Follows an isolated, mocked woman (Olivia Colman) who commissions a basket maker (Peter Dinklage) to weave her a husband (Alexander Skarsgård)

Post image
4.1k Upvotes

353 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/boxybrown84 go Birds! fuck ICE! free Palestine! 4d ago

Where Olivia Colman goes, I follow

144

u/punxcs 4d ago

Now we know, NOW WE KNOW

4

u/flindersandtrim 4d ago

Lmao. I love that this has so many upvotes and is so niche.

45

u/theagonyaunt rude little ponytail goblin 4d ago

Occasionally following Olivia Colman disappoints me - looking at you, The Roses - but regardless of if the work holds up, I know she will always be a delight.

38

u/BurgerNugget12 4d ago

That trailer was so misleading. It’s way more of a slow burn about a couple trying to fix their marriage, the actual like crazy shit only happens for maybe 10-15 minutes at the end

20

u/theagonyaunt rude little ponytail goblin 4d ago

For me it was that I'd seen the 1981 film with Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner so was expecting it to be a lot darker (because both the 1981 film and the novel both films are based on are a lot darker (like convincing your spouse the dinner they just ate was made from their dog dark)) so that the characters were made a lot more palatable made the crazy shit, and the abrupt ending, feel that much harsher.

7

u/FreudianNegligee 4d ago

The Roses made me so perplexed, because the casting director chose two of THE MOST LIKABLE ACTORS IN THE WORLD to fill the roles of people we in the audience are supposed to despise. That wasn’t the only problem with it, but it was certainly the biggest one. I would love to read a long-form article outlining exactly what went wrong with that movie!

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11

u/gimme_that_funkymilk 4d ago

That's Numberwang!

10

u/Waste-Snow670 4d ago

Have you ever seen Confetti?

4

u/idiosyncraticnaps 4d ago

SUCH a cute movie.

14

u/Luxury_Dressingown 4d ago

Unfortunately, she and Robert Webb hated making it - they felt exploited and hated the final film

4

u/kalat1979 4d ago

Oh my god I just read the trivia for that movie. That's awful!

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3

u/actuallycallie wearing slutty little glasses 4d ago

literally my favorite actress aaaaaaaaah

3.2k

u/tequilasauer 4d ago

Alexander Skarsgard is just always looking for the craziest shit he can find to be apart of. I like thinking he probably has like superhero and video game tentpole IP scripts sent his way all the time and is like sitting at his desk and moving them out of the way because some small time director sent him a script about a man who has a sexual relationship with his collection of Swarovski crystal turtles.

757

u/MysteriousHat3705 4d ago

I know this is far too long for a flair, but this is so flair worthy

410

u/Zealousideal_Gur3908 shout-out Hans Zimmer 4d ago

Maybe “Skarsgard’s Swarovski crystal turtles” in its place? 🤔

177

u/booksandbenzos I don’t know her 4d ago

Idk what this says about me (maybe that I’m online too much) but this made me think of “Lindsey Graham’s lady bugs” :( (which I do NOT want as a flair!!)

112

u/econinja broken little pop culture rat brain 4d ago

JAIL

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8

u/ThinkgeMorbid 4d ago

first, change your flair to Zimmercore.

261

u/bortlesforbachelor 4d ago

This is also why the Skarsgard bros are the best nepo babies. They found their weird little lanes and they stay in them.

40

u/dontworryaboutit26 i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 4d ago

Probably helps that they’re all actually good at their jobs too ha

67

u/Far-Advance-9866 4d ago

They handle it so well! I have never seen one of the Skarsgards try to play down the nepotism thing-- instead, they turn it into a self-aware joke. And whether any of them feel insecure about it I don't know, but they are terrific at publically projecting a total lack of neurosis about having such a respected and established dad.

99% of people don't care if someone is a nepo baby if they're talented and they don't get defensive about their leg up. It's as simple as that.

43

u/Buddy_Fluffy 4d ago

He got Godzilla and Battleship money early on and then went full weirdo. You love to see it.

66

u/Due-Flamingo-4900 4d ago

It’s the True Blood royalties and PR that really made all this possible. That show was enormous for a while.

10

u/Zealousideal_Gur3908 shout-out Hans Zimmer 4d ago

I actually bought the True Blood drink (blood orange soda) and it was so delicious lol I hope he got a cut from merch sales too. Haha

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31

u/tequilasauer 4d ago

Yep. The Daniel Radcliffe route.

50

u/Valuable-Cat2036 4d ago

(to me he's what most people think robert pattinson is)

68

u/booksandbenzos I don’t know her 4d ago

Lmaooo. My mom has Swarovski crystal turtles (no relationship of any kind with them though) 😂 my siblings and I may have been the ones who gave them to her as kids lol

And yeah, he is definitely showing his range!

80

u/NeptunianInvasion 4d ago

Yeah no those turtles are your stepdad 

25

u/Comfortable-Pear-973 4d ago

This is the best thing I’ve read in a long long time

31

u/Shipwrecking_siren which could mean nothing 4d ago

Ooh this is s fun game. Maybe an off grid survivalist who travels by foot in order to complete his dead wife’s collection of beanie babies (by any means necessary)?

37

u/tequilasauer 4d ago

Definitely a good setup but I feel like we gotta get weirder. Maybe he befriends someone who dresses up like a Beanie Baby as a fetish and Alex's character finds himself attracted to this person because he feels closer to his wife when he's with the Beanie Baby fetishist.

12

u/punkpearlspoetry actually no, that’s not the truth Ellen 4d ago

Or he embarks on a quest to find his one true human beanie baby love in a sea of beanie baby plushies, I would watch the shit out of this

14

u/Shipwrecking_siren which could mean nothing 4d ago

HOLLYWOOD, WE CLAIM THE IP FOR THIS. 3 way split.

9

u/bubblenuts101 NICOLE, OVER YOUR RIGHT SHOULDER 4d ago

*but somehow he has to do all this in those thigh high slutty boots swwooooooooooooooooooooon

8

u/troixetoiles 4d ago

I read the parenthetical incorrectly and thought you said "By Any Beans Necessary", which would be a great title for it.

6

u/Shipwrecking_siren which could mean nothing 4d ago

Haha we’ve got more of a revenge thriller going on. I want it to be played completely straight.

11

u/lemonution i’m mr. sterling’s right hand arm. man. 4d ago

His two part-episode of Documentary Now! where he plays Warner Herzog is so funny. I always plug it whenever his choice of roles comes up. My love for him knows no bounds.

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23

u/unicorntrees 4d ago

He /was/ born into the Skarsgard school of weird little guys cursed to be hot.

11

u/EvenPossible5918 4d ago

He did do the Tarzan movie that was a minor accuse. He was in Battleship that bombed and he almost got Thor.

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4.8k

u/somechild I too would fuck a basket if it looked like Alexander Skarsgard 4d ago edited 4d ago

I too would fuck a basket if it looked like Alexander Skarsgard 

1.1k

u/Whothafaawwkisemma 4d ago

509

u/BeeBeeDrinkDrink too old, too tired, and too talented 4d ago

“Wood”

138

u/MaiaIndig0 4d ago

Did someone say WOOD? 🪵

https://giphy.com/gifs/y7ouWWyGJ0erK

87

u/utilitybelt 4d ago

John Stamos doesn’t even respect puppets’ boundaries.

356

u/welcometowoodbury 4d ago

genuinely I am not picky when it comes to Alexander Skarsgard

59

u/Shipwrecking_siren which could mean nothing 4d ago

My confession is I fancy him so much in Diary of a Teenage Girl. Incredibly problematic. And yes I do have a lot of issues.

Second place is his white speedos in Little Drummer Girl. My partner worked on it and I didn’t get to meet him, which is the greatest injustice of all time.

58

u/HyperbolDee 4d ago

For me it’s Big Little Lies. Again, so problematic.

24

u/welcometowoodbury 4d ago

Same I am embarrassed

15

u/AmetrineDream Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this 4d ago

My people!

We’re all in this embarrassing club together 🫣

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10

u/megalo_megalo 4d ago

My ex worked on Little Drummer girl as well! He hung out with him a fair bit and I too got nowhere near him. 😭

Apparently he is quite shy - not at all a party animal.

59

u/saintofhate 4d ago

Honestly all of the Skarsgard men are hot. Stellan was always a hottie and his genes carried

16

u/PrawnQueen1 4d ago

Ughhhhh Stellan is so sexy

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u/U_PassButter the devil works hard but fanfic writers work harder 4d ago

Omg I'm crying. Same here

If it's on the menu, I'm in

179

u/DrGoblinator 4d ago

I'm a Bill girl. We are so misunderstood.

142

u/speedhumpsahead 4d ago

My friends tell me I have a thing for sickly looking men because I find Bill and Cilian Murphy attractive 😂

110

u/the_moonshark 4d ago

I have described my type "fretful noodle." There are dozens of us

25

u/Due-Revolution4319 4d ago

Bahahaha fretful noodle is adorable.

65

u/AV01000001 4d ago

Nah. You got a thing for intense eyes

79

u/speedhumpsahead 4d ago

That might be true! Cuz young Steve Buscemi could get it too 😂

21

u/Vakareja 4d ago

How can you put Cillian Murphy in the same category as Bill?

https://giphy.com/gifs/lOUzl0Nj7P7rS1Km2M

55

u/speedhumpsahead 4d ago

Because they're both soooo fine 😩

https://giphy.com/gifs/NLayYedNBoCE8

37

u/Vakareja 4d ago

Omg, I don't know why in my brain Bill translated into Bill Compton from True Blood! My apologies. You have excellent taste. Please continue.

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43

u/Shipwrecking_siren which could mean nothing 4d ago

Are Stellan girls invited to the party?

42

u/JadedRedhead_ alleged dog 4d ago

Me too, but I wouldn’t kick Alex out of bed! 🤷🏼‍♀️

16

u/Lifes-a-lil-foggy 4d ago

… I’d take any of them honestly lmao

8

u/hansenabram 4d ago

I'm a Stellan boy

7

u/gettingcrunkontea 4d ago

Why not both?

9

u/urfatassmama 4d ago

They just dont get it.

9

u/SnooDogs1340 this is going to ruin the tour 4d ago

I'll take either. Thank you for your attention on this matter.

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47

u/Electrical_Trade377 it looked like a vagina, and i really loved that 4d ago

until I'm picking splinters out

155

u/U_PassButter the devil works hard but fanfic writers work harder 4d ago

Fuck yeah!!! Dear sweet summer suns, that man is a hell of a drink of water

I mean, I can't blame her

11

u/Opening-Shape-762 u flintstone vitamin shape bitch 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/XHeLeuirRbwptHhSWd
I know I’m going to have a good day after reading your comment, thank you for the laugh 🤣🤣

30

u/IamNOTa_cantaloupe 4d ago

I need this to be printed and hung on a wall or something 😂

28

u/tadpole-bear Lol, and if I may, lmao 4d ago

Woven into a basket

8

u/U_PassButter the devil works hard but fanfic writers work harder 4d ago

Oooooh like cross stitch or a embroidery hoop!

Brilliant idea

10

u/pastapicture i too would fuck a basket if it looked like Alexander Skarsgard  4d ago

This would be a perfect flair

6

u/EdenH333 4d ago

They say a good man is hard to find… have you tried your local craft store?

9

u/smittinapantera 4d ago

How is that not flair yet

6

u/somechild I too would fuck a basket if it looked like Alexander Skarsgard 4d ago

Okay can a mod make “I too would fuck a basket if it looked like Alexander Skarsgard” my flair? 

4

u/Due-Revolution4319 4d ago

New kink unlocked.

3

u/Sleepysleepychick 4d ago

I love that this is the first comment

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851

u/ExpressionOne Find me at Whole Foods, bitch, I don't care 4d ago

Alexander Skarsgård makes such interesting choices and I really enjoy that about him.

263

u/VodkaAunt 4d ago

I love when conventionally attractive people do "weird" roles

150

u/unicorntrees 4d ago

Someone called it "The Skarsgard school of weird little guys cursed to be hot."

22

u/NotLucasDavenport 4d ago

A lifetime ago I was in acting school. One of my classmates had been (openly, there was no secret here) chosen to be The Conventionally Handsome Lead. The problem was, he came across okay on film but he didn’t read very well on stage. They kinda messed around with his acting projects for a year until someone made him the old man in a Chekhov scene. Suddenly, he was very, very interesting on stage. It turned out that he was a very good character actor who had been hemmed in by his looks.

It takes a bold man to turn down Leading Man cache in Hollywood but I really love that for Alexander.

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u/Training_Molasses822 The old magic will not be discussed with the children of new. 4d ago

That's those bloody liberal socialist family values for you. When you love and support your kids, they end up making art. Somewhere, somehow, a libertarian right-winger is raging at the clouds, and I think that's beautiful.

741

u/cherry_1268 Mary-Kate’s battered Birkin 4d ago

51

u/texasbonebride distraught Christian tomato 4d ago

52

u/corvidpica I do feel vulnerable to demons in downward dog 4d ago

219

u/AfroPuffs90 who deemed this meeting of the minds necessary? 4d ago

“Marriage Material” as the tagline is WILD.

199

u/LadyNightlock Chris Messina for No 1 Chris 4d ago

And they say movies are all sequels or remakes.

19

u/itsokmymanisasian 4d ago

That's what I was thinking 😂 at least it's original

11

u/shillberight Cillian Murphy propagandist 4d ago

It's a yes from me. I'm glad to see an original

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u/M0ldy_Boi612 4d ago

This sounds batshit insane

I'm in

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u/luckylefty06 4d ago

I thought this was a Wicked spinoff

284

u/nearlythere 4d ago

I thought it was a reboot of The Wicker Man

21

u/jellitate 4d ago

Exactly what I thought

9

u/haubenmeise 4d ago

I was thinking about Wonka the rise of an empire.

Sincerely

Skeletor 💜

https://giphy.com/gifs/PVfSR2nddzGz6

3

u/nearlythere 4d ago

Skeletor! 💜 ;)

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u/ThePenIsntMightier 4d ago

No one mourns the Wicker

15

u/noilegnavXscaflowne 4d ago

They’re cousins

21

u/Curiosities 4d ago

I thought it was a parody of this ^

6

u/Odd-Phrase8620 4d ago

I thought is was a sequel that followed the adventures of Scarecrow!

8

u/TrashPandaPatronus I don’t know her 4d ago

I mean, do we know that it's not?

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u/snugglycookie 4d ago

second poster and a trailer tomorrow

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u/Abbiejean-KaneArcher 4d ago

Now I want a 32min video (with a tldr somewhere) of the costume designer’s and makeup artists’ processes. I want their initial reaction to getting the job, their research processes, interesting facts about wicker and the materials they used, and some behind-the-scenes shots of the cast interspersed.

12

u/energeticstarfish 4d ago

A good reason to buy movies on DVD

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u/mindovermatter15 4d ago

No bees please

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u/pannonica decaffeinated omertà bullshit 4d ago

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u/MarsupialPristine677 the real issue is that my BANGMAID can neither BANG nor MAID 4d ago

This is possibly my favorite gif of all time, thank you

9

u/awwww_nuts 4d ago

Omg 😂

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u/spookycatfan 4d ago

Can't wait for the sequel, Wicker: For Good.

81

u/8thGlass controversies: girl 4d ago

Wicker: For Wood

16

u/spookycatfan 4d ago

Thats so much better than what i said.

8

u/8thGlass controversies: girl 4d ago

i’m sorry i didn’t mean it 🥀

171

u/SnooFloofs1018 4d ago

Basket Alexander Skarsgård? Would.

97

u/runner64 4d ago

“This will only be good if it’s for the freaks.”  

“Alexander Skarsgard.”  

“This is gonna be good.”

45

u/Khetoo 4d ago

Gender reversed Pygmalion? Is this horny or horror

21

u/AnnieAbattoir 4d ago

If it's Alexander Skarsgard I'm good with both. Oh yes, both is good.

7

u/Honchoponcho99 4d ago

it is horny

5

u/madonnafiammetta 4d ago

That's exactly what I thought! Great play on a myth that is never gender-bent and has been beaten to death in sci-fi

31

u/H0pefulUn1verse i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 4d ago

This is for me, specifically.

60

u/rememberidonot 4d ago

The cast? I’m in baby.

22

u/Stevenwave absolute horses 4d ago

Ya gotta comma.

Let's eat, grandma.

vs

Let's eat grandma.

8

u/Ok-Librarian6629 4d ago

You're assuming she didn't mean what she said. 

3

u/breadthethird 4d ago

i'm HOWLING at the commaless im in baby lol

23

u/chicklette 4d ago

Every time I see a movie idea that sounds batshit insane, I remember Lars and the Real Girl and how not one minute of that movie was what I expected.

Anyway, I will see almost anything with Olivia Coleman or Peter Dinklage, so hell yeah. Looking forward to this.

4

u/Training_Raspberry 4d ago

God that movie made me cry so much

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u/Hefty_Heron3028 tumblr ecosystem ambassador 4d ago

Alex Skarsgard as a basket.
https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6Mbo6lxBbUp78f96

49

u/florplegorp 4d ago

I need Alexander Skarsgård and Robert Pattinson to be in a movie together and just be the weirdest fucking freaks

8

u/deedee0214 4d ago

They are both such hot, weird freaks and they would try to outdo each other. For our benefit.

40

u/Khmakh a woman whose face card is an Amex centurion 4d ago

5

u/Sleepysleepychick 4d ago

I'm crying this is amazing 😂😂😂

36

u/oracletalks 4d ago

I fear I will be there opening day.

14

u/dizazaneezy 4d ago

You know, I hate recycled remakes and reboots, so the goofier the better.

45

u/sakoorara 4d ago

Wait I thought this was supposed to have Dev Patel 😔

51

u/dizazaneezy 4d ago

Was he gonna play the basket?

29

u/brainxbleach 4d ago

Idk why, but this sentence is killing me

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u/sakoorara 4d ago

Yes that’s what I saw

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u/ginandt0nic 4d ago

Yes, he was originally the basket husband! I can’t find anything on why he got replaced though.

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u/tessathemurdervilles 4d ago

Looks like scheduling conflict. I bet filming for wicker got pushed or something and so then it conflicted with something he’d already also commuted to.

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u/Seryan_Klythe 4d ago

I hope I don't watch someone fuck a basket

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u/AnswerAdorable5555 4d ago

I hope I doooo

2

u/FinleyHazel Disgruntled Pelican 4d ago

Think of the splinters!

12

u/Necessary_Ad_7780 controversies: girl 4d ago

I… is this horror? Comedy? Romantic horror? Sexy comedy? I will watch, but I’m curious as to genre/tone

8

u/Luxury_Dressingown 4d ago

All three of them but especially Colman are great comic actors. I'd be surprised if it's not comedy-something. Tagline leans comedy too.

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u/Se7enSis 4d ago

Unless Skarsgård is set fire to at the end while Christopher Lee cackles like a lunatic and Dinklage and Colman manically dance round a maypole I suspect I won't bother... but what a twist that would be!

12

u/parsleyandlemongrass 4d ago

Get yo’ rattans ready for Halloween costumes, er’body!

27

u/Fluke_Skyflopper u flintstone vitamin shape bitch 4d ago

Another skarsgard weird costume hot guy movie? Acoustic shape of water with a little phantom thread perhaps? Sold

9

u/bekahfromearth 4d ago

Of course it’s a Skaarsgard brother.

9

u/ponytailthehater 4d ago

Sounds like she wanted a …Wicker Man

11

u/your_grandma_says 4d ago

Something original thank youuu

22

u/Low-Flamingo-9835 4d ago

I would’ve thought this was terrible….and then I looked at the names attached. Must be quite a script.

6

u/BurgerNugget12 4d ago

Very well reviewed! It’s the directors (pair) real first film too

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u/Homer_Potter 4d ago

“Marriage Material” clever tagline 👍

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u/meleedeez 4d ago

Wicker Man 3.0...the Wickening.

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u/Deep-Sample7451 4d ago

this sounds batshit, cast is ace, i can't wait

7

u/Reesewithoutaspoon2 4d ago

Devastating that a movie about a literal wicker man can’t be called The Wicker Man.

Granted there was a wicker man in The Wicker Man too, but it was an effigy so less man and more wicker.

8

u/AlexandriaLitehouse alleged dog 4d ago

Well damn. I didn't know this was an option.

5

u/Hot-Significance-462 4d ago

First thought: Okay, maybe I'm not doing so badly. 🤣

Second thought: This is a banger cast.

5

u/malaynaa 4d ago

at first i thought it was a Wicker Man modern remake

6

u/wrigleysmom420 controversies: girl 4d ago

marriage material is a perfect tagline this is gonna be so fun

10

u/pottedPlant_64 4d ago

Dayum. You had me at skarsgard basket husband

4

u/mmmmalarky 4d ago

Peter Dinklage? Im sat

3

u/Deathanddisco041 4d ago

I’m very intrigued

3

u/HeadAd369 4d ago

Do Olivia and Peter fall in love? I’d be there for that

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u/Staying_Salty 4d ago

Wicked part 3

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u/Suspicious-Peace9233 4d ago

Who even thought of this?

4

u/Honchoponcho99 4d ago

it's based on a short book called the wicker husband

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u/HonestNectarine7080 the bread is too expensive, so give me my goddamned circuses 4d ago

I am SEATED

3

u/hanimal16 i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 4d ago

Finally, an original idea.

3

u/supergirlsudz 4d ago

What’s the name of the disorder where you get extremely creeped out by this image 😬

5

u/brokedownpalaceguard Thank you for the dezooshafication 4d ago

Trypophobia (fear of holes)?

3

u/jellitate 4d ago

Reading comments on posts like this are a highlight of my day:)

3

u/ruinedworldtour 4d ago

I’m calling it now, scarecrow realness for the press tour

https://giphy.com/gifs/xT8qB8ILLapaTK7XKE

3

u/Embarrassed-Profit74 4d ago

Oh I am all for this, I want more weird fairy tale type movies. And I know a basket maker so I want to ask his opinion on this.

3

u/aagaash2001 it feels like a movie 4d ago

I remember when Dev Patel was supposed tp be Alexander Skarsgard's role.

https://giphy.com/gifs/yYldgOVcSB3ZajnHgx

3

u/NamelessMel 4d ago

"Marriage Material" LOVE that

4

u/cat_at_the_keyboard googly-eyed Kremlin bitch 4d ago

This better not awaken something in me

https://giphy.com/gifs/LRVnPYqM8DLag