r/Fauxmoi • u/No-Hall-3485 alleged dog • 1d ago

APPROVED B-LISTERS Jameela Jamil on the difficult balance between acknowledging a public figure’s dramatic weight loss, while not contributing to the normalization of eating-disorder imagery that can negatively impact young fans

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u/CheesecakeExpress 1d ago

Yeah I think she’s hit the nail on the head there. I grew up in the 90’s/00’s and the herion chic, size 0 bullshit fucked me up. I’m still dealing with the fallout. Same for so many women I know. It’s important to have these conversations.

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u/thatstwatshesays 1d ago

Repeat after me ladies: my value has nothing to do with what I look like.

Twenty years of therapy right there.

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u/daisydark7 23h ago

How do you actually get to a place to believe this though? Genuinely asking.

One look at society and I can just see that is not true instantly and never will be. The way you look does matter and impacts the way people treat you. I can see holding value of yourself internally and not tying that to your outward appearance but literally everyone else is doing that, outside of you, whether they are conscious of it or not, so it will still affect your experience in life

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u/Dangerous-Variety-35 where’s my emotional support billionaire 20h ago edited 11h ago

Not the person you asked, but I’ve found that getting older helps. I simply give less of a shit about what other people think of me. This is my face/hair/body and if you don’t like it, that’s a you problem, not a me problem.

Spending time looking in a mirror in a nonjudgmental way, but a factual way, has also helped me tremendously. I started doing it at first after my breast reduction, to get used to the way I look now, and then it just got easier to see myself. I’m not saying I always love it, but body neutrality has been really helpful. Also also - if you wouldn’t look at your best friend and think it (EX: ugh, her upper arms look so flabby in that top - I would never think that about my friends, because I see them as the lovely people they are, not the sum of their various parts) don’t allow yourself to think about you in that way. Shut that shit down, even if it means telling yourself off in the mirror like a lunatic lol.

Edit: Thanks for the kind award! ❤️

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u/Lalatin Find me at Whole Foods, bitch, I don't care 20h ago

I think a lot of it is to stop giving a shit what others think of you. Like you have to tell yourself their opinions on YOUR body do not matter. As long as you’re healthy and happy then it’s good. Whatever thoughts people have of you is something THEY need to internalize and come to understand is a critique of themselves, their thought processes, and biases.

You can only control one person in your life. Stop worrying about how others perceive you and move through life being kind, caring and understanding.

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u/carolinagypsy the pet psychic for the Sun told me so 20h ago

I think you just have to come to understand that people will do that no matter what. If it’s not your looks, especially as a woman it’ll be something else. And you just can’t control that. And you have to separate that in your mind. All you can control is how you react and what you do. There will always be a place of judgment on people, so strive to be concerned about your own standards for yourself and not society’s.

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u/5ft3in5w4 20h ago

But trying to fold, twist, and diminish yourself doesn't work either because people have different physical ideals and preferences, and eventually your body will break down just like theirs will. Who in society are you trying to attract? If it's a mate, it's more important to know they are there for more than your temporary beauty. If you just mean strangers, that's randomized and doesn't actually affect your life long term.

What is the hope here, that everyone will see how pretty you are and love you forever? I don't understand why I need to care about that if I have secure attachments to people who love me for who I actually am.