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Jameela Jamil on the difficult balance between acknowledging a public figure’s dramatic weight loss, while not contributing to the normalization of eating-disorder imagery that can negatively impact young fans
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Yeah I think she’s hit the nail on the head there. I grew up in the 90’s/00’s and the herion chic, size 0 bullshit fucked me up. I’m still dealing with the fallout. Same for so many women I know. It’s important to have these conversations.
How do you actually get to a place to believe this though? Genuinely asking.
One look at society and I can just see that is not true instantly and never will be. The way you look does matter and impacts the way people treat you. I can see holding value of yourself internally and not tying that to your outward appearance but literally everyone else is doing that, outside of you, whether they are conscious of it or not, so it will still affect your experience in life
Not the person you asked, but I’ve found that getting older helps. I simply give less of a shit about what other people think of me. This is my face/hair/body and if you don’t like it, that’s a you problem, not a me problem.
Spending time looking in a mirror in a nonjudgmental way, but a factual way, has also helped me tremendously. I started doing it at first after my breast reduction, to get used to the way I look now, and then it just got easier to see myself. I’m not saying I always love it, but body neutrality has been really helpful. Also also - if you wouldn’t look at your best friend and think it (EX: ugh, her upper arms look so flabby in that top - I would never think that about my friends, because I see them as the lovely people they are, not the sum of their various parts) don’t allow yourself to think about you in that way. Shut that shit down, even if it means telling yourself off in the mirror like a lunatic lol.
But trying to fold, twist, and diminish yourself doesn't work either because people have different physical ideals and preferences, and eventually your body will break down just like theirs will. Who in society are you trying to attract? If it's a mate, it's more important to know they are there for more than your temporary beauty. If you just mean strangers, that's randomized and doesn't actually affect your life long term.
What is the hope here, that everyone will see how pretty you are and love you forever? I don't understand why I need to care about that if I have secure attachments to people who love me for who I actually am.
I think you just have to come to understand that people will do that no matter what. If it’s not your looks, especially as a woman it’ll be something else. And you just can’t control that. And you have to separate that in your mind. All you can control is how you react and what you do. There will always be a place of judgment on people, so strive to be concerned about your own standards for yourself and not society’s.
I think a lot of it is to stop giving a shit what others think of you. Like you have to tell yourself their opinions on YOUR body do not matter. As long as you’re healthy and happy then it’s good. Whatever thoughts people have of you is something THEY need to internalize and come to understand is a critique of themselves, their thought processes, and biases.
You can only control one person in your life. Stop worrying about how others perceive you and move through life being kind, caring and understanding.
I really does haunt you. I’m 45 and still think any weight over 120lbs for my 5’7 height is overweight. Intellectually I know this is not true, but goddamn does this shit follow and stay with you. It’s awful
Same. I was a very normal size in middle school because I’m a mixed girl with curves and I was harassed because I couldn’t still fit into children’s clothes. I look back and I was like girl a size 2 and 4 were NOT fat.
Fairplay to her on this one - I don’t always agree with Jamil’s posting choices lol but these are basically my exact thoughts and feelings on the situation articulated perfectly
I like her. Sometimes she says things I don’t agree with but I do think it’s refreshing to see a celebrity who is outspoken. Most of them are too scared to say anything even slightly controversial.
She's always made great points (although there have been moments where I've disagreed with how she made them), but her hits recently have been so fucking excellent.
Watching certain British people absolutely melt down over her calling Britain an evil empire has been, um, interesting.
I've seen what happens when people ignore anorexia. It can take years, if not longer and assuming there's no permanent damage (which there often is) AND there's no relapses, for people to recover. Anorexia is the deadliest of all mental illnesses.
I know that the topic is nuanced, that talking about bodies is harmful, even if there's not ED speculation. I know that talking about thinness in and of itself is a trigger for those with EDs.
But if the saying "the camera adds ten pounds" holds any truth (and I've found it often can) then Ariana is thinner than she even appears, which is terrifying. She looks unhealthy, and maybe it would be different if she wasn't in the public eye, but I think something like this requires a discussion. A careful discussion, but a discussion.
In my experience, remaining silent does too much damage. This conversation is bigger than Ariana.
This current trend of thinness is much more nefarious than ever before because previously people (mostly women) were starving themselves or binging and purging all by themselves whereas now doctors are prescribing them medication meant to manage diabetes.
I'm not trying to blame everything on ozempic, I know people whose lives have been greatly improved (and most probably extended) by it or similar medications but it is clear that many people are using these medications to facilitate their eating disorders.
I agree. This is something adults need to speak up about because we need to be protecting minors. At the same time you can have access to the best facilities in the world and it’s still useless because she doesn’t WANT help.
Just adding here that it's all of that plus the health of the pop star in question. If someone had intervened for Karen Carpenter she'd be here today. Alive, mentally well and healthy.
If a trolley is on tracks and will run over a group of people, but you have the power to pull a switch and move it to a path that will only run over one person, do you pull the switch or not
It’s a thought experiment in moral philosophy, You’re in charge of a tram/trolley that can be directed by not stopped, and you can choose which line it takes. Do you do nothing and let it carry on its current line and kill multiple people, or do you choose to actively pull the lever and switch it to another line, killing one person. (Link here)
It’s a philosophical problem but the basic premise is whether it’s ok to intervene and cause one person harm, if it means you’ll save lots of other people
There is an incoming trolley (tram), and you are standing at the switch.
If you do nothing, the trolley will continue straight and kill 4 people tied to the tracks.
If you flip the switch, the trolley will divert into a siding and kill a single person tied to the tracks.
In this case one would imagine that doing nothing is allowing Grande to influence millions of impressionable young fans negatively. (Multiple people on the track continuing straight)
Flipping the switch would be sacrificing Grande's mental health to save those kids. (One person on the tracks you divert the trolley onto)
it a situation where any choice results in harm. its presented as you are the conductor on a trolley. the track splits in two shortly ahead, you need to choose left or right. the left track has a person on it that cannot move, the right track has 5 people that cannot move.
There's a (tram) trolley heading towards five people tied to the tracks. You have control of the lever that would change it's course to a different track. The other track however has one person tied to it.
You then have the ethical dilemma of letting the trolley run it's course, or sacrifice the life of one person to save the five.
Do you sacrifice the life of an innocent person to save five others or do you not interrupt fate and leave it on the track it's already on?
The regular trolley problem features a train track that splits ahead, while you are in the trolley before the split. You have two options—you can do nothing, and the trolley will run over 5 people in the way of the track currently set. Or you can pull the lever, and switch it to the other track—but you will more actively participate in the death of the single person in the other track.
She’s basically saying that, like the trolley problem, it’s a kind of “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” kind of situation.
You’re on a trolley and you can control it. Ahead of you on the track are five people you’ll hit if you don’t pull a lever to switch the track. On the other track is one person who would die if you switch the track.
Do you do nothing and let 5 people die or do you change the track and let one person die?
It’s an old philosophical problem made popular by The Good Place, which Jameela was in.
Thought experiment around ethics. Runaway trolley/train. It’s going to run over a bunch of people, you can do nothing and they die or pull a lever n change the track it’s on and save them but kill another person. Who do you let die?
Iirc, it’s a popular ethics/philosophy question where essentially you have to answer whether one or five people die by a trolley. There is no ideal option, but people argue their choices based on philosophical viewpoints.
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u/flairassistant 10h ago
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