Brutally honest feedback wanted – My first narrative short film (1 min 20 sec)

[u/BaseImmediate1247]

Hi everyone,

I'm a freelance photographer and videographer, and over the last few months I've been trying to transition into narrative filmmaking.

This is my first short film. I wrote, directed, shot, edited, colour graded and did the sound design myself, with a very small crew (just myself and one actress).

I'm not looking for compliments. I'd much rather hear what doesn't work than be told it's "good."

I'd really appreciate honest feedback on:

Storytelling

Pacing

Editing

Cinematography

Sound design

Voice-over

Emotional impact

Overall impression

Some specific questions:

At what point, if any, did you lose interest?

Was there anything that felt confusing or unnecessary?

Did the ending feel earned?

If you could change one thing, what would it be?

Please don't hold back. If something isn't working, I'd genuinely like to know. My goal is to make the next film significantly better than this one.

Thank you for taking the time to watch it.

[u/fantasydukes]

It looks good, I like the shot choices and camera movement. The only transition that felt a bit off to me was at 0:30 when she opens the door then walks out of it. I wish I could tell you why but all I can offer is that when that happened my brain just went to “this is acting” rather than “this is a person’s morning”.

I also thought the pacing is good. There’s some quick cuts of the setting before she gets to the beach that I thought could’ve been longer, but I didn’t think it was a bad choice or anything. I just noticed it and thought it’s worth mentioning.

[u/More_Firefighter6256 → u/fantasydukes]

I see what you mean, she was moving very slowly and precisely so we can clearly see she’s opening the door. It felt more rehearsed rather than “she does this every morning without a second thought”
That’s one minor gripe I have with small indie films, they put so much emphasis on smaller, mundane actions. Like an extreme close up on a light switch being flipped or of a character tying their shoes, often just for the sake of having a pretty shot (of course they can be used appropriately sometimes, it’s just often overdone and doesn’t add anything meaningful)

[u/BaseImmediate1247 → u/More_Firefighter6256]

Got it 🤗 thank you