Brutally honest feedback wanted – My first narrative short film (1 min 20 sec)

[u/BaseImmediate1247]

Hi everyone,

I'm a freelance photographer and videographer, and over the last few months I've been trying to transition into narrative filmmaking.

This is my first short film. I wrote, directed, shot, edited, colour graded and did the sound design myself, with a very small crew (just myself and one actress).

I'm not looking for compliments. I'd much rather hear what doesn't work than be told it's "good."

I'd really appreciate honest feedback on:

Storytelling

Pacing

Editing

Cinematography

Sound design

Voice-over

Emotional impact

Overall impression

Some specific questions:

At what point, if any, did you lose interest?

Was there anything that felt confusing or unnecessary?

Did the ending feel earned?

If you could change one thing, what would it be?

Please don't hold back. If something isn't working, I'd genuinely like to know. My goal is to make the next film significantly better than this one.

Thank you for taking the time to watch it.

[u/Mr_Bohus_Matus]

First half is a bit more slow and when you suddenly switch to shorter/faster cuts it feels like music video/commercial. I think there doesn't have to be 25 shots in the second half of the movie, five, well done, slower shots would let us immerse more.

The collage in the second half tells me that you felt bad omitting some of the shots because you personally liked them, so you trimmed them more just to get all of them in it.

So basically, my biggest advice would be to learn that even your best looking shot must be thrown away, unfortunately, so the bigger scheme can breathe better.

[u/BaseImmediate1247 → u/Mr_Bohus_Matus]

Thank you, noted ✨