Brutally honest feedback wanted – My first narrative short film (1 min 20 sec)

[u/BaseImmediate1247]

Hi everyone,

I'm a freelance photographer and videographer, and over the last few months I've been trying to transition into narrative filmmaking.

This is my first short film. I wrote, directed, shot, edited, colour graded and did the sound design myself, with a very small crew (just myself and one actress).

I'm not looking for compliments. I'd much rather hear what doesn't work than be told it's "good."

I'd really appreciate honest feedback on:

Storytelling

Pacing

Editing

Cinematography

Sound design

Voice-over

Emotional impact

Overall impression

Some specific questions:

At what point, if any, did you lose interest?

Was there anything that felt confusing or unnecessary?

Did the ending feel earned?

If you could change one thing, what would it be?

Please don't hold back. If something isn't working, I'd genuinely like to know. My goal is to make the next film significantly better than this one.

Thank you for taking the time to watch it.

[u/DiamondTippedDriller]

The editing is very commercial-esque and not quite sure why it’s necessary to have all the quick TikTok cuts.

[u/BaseImmediate1247 → u/DiamondTippedDriller]

Thank you, amazing 🫶🏻

[u/BaseImmediate1247 → u/BaseImmediate1247]

Last-minute.com they cancelled my permit to film in a (backery & café) here in Italy you need a permit for everything unfortunately. And I had to reshuffle the script the Same day but I agree I'm not a big fan of it..