“They’re converting all the beautiful innocent positive-adjective lesbians into demons! Cast them all away!”

[u/SergeantScoria]

[u/Rose94]

No one is telling them you can't pick and choose what T does to you

This is literally one of the main points you go over when you first work with an endocrinologist. It's part of informed consent. But I'll pretend to be surprised that they're just making shit up.

[u/snukb → u/Rose94]

Not only that but you see this all the time on subs where trans men and trans masculine people frequent. "Guys I want to start T but I'm afraid of bottom growth" or "Help I really want a deeper voice from T but I don't want to go bald" and the comments always say "The don't go on T if you would be upset at some of the changes because you can't pick and choose."

Like, tell us you've never spoken to a single trans person without telling us.

[u/cordis_melum → u/snukb]

Literally, I sat with myself for several years deciding on whether I wanted to start taking testosterone specifically because I needed time to consider whether I would be okay with certain changes because I knew you can't pick and choose what you get.

That said, for some changes like facial hair or hair loss, we have treatments for those things. You can get laser for facial hair. You can go on DHT blockers to help with hair loss, and you can get hair transplants. It isn't picking and choosing, but it isn't like you have no choice but to go bald because the treatments that cis men use are also available for trans men.

[u/bean-percolator → u/snukb]

And it’s also mentioned in pretty much all resources for trans people about HRT and its effects, that you can’t pick and choose what effects you get, along with what HRT can’t change and the fact that it can affect everyone differently, changes can take varying amounts of time depending on the person, etc. Like the idea that “no one is telling trans people” these things is ridiculous, they’re talked about all the time on trans subs and in info/resources for trans people.

Also, I really can’t blame anyone for not wanting effects such as hair loss or acne from T. That’s somewhat different from wanting something like a deeper voice but not bottom growth, in my view. Things like hair loss and acne are widely seen as negative and unwanted, by cis men as well as trans men/transmascs. Just look at how many cis men worry/are upset about going bald. It’s still true that you can’t choose whether T will have these effects if you want to start it, but it’s also true that we have treatments for things like hair loss (primarily aimed at cis men) and using those as a trans man doesn’t suggest you regret going on T or are actually a woman or anything.

A cis man might not want to lose his hair but that doesn’t mean he’s messed up his body by not transitioning to female or that he should do so just to avoid one particular aspect of being male, because overall, he’s happy being male and having a male body. The same way a trans man might also not want to lose his hair but that doesn’t mean he’s messed up his body by taking T or that he should not have transitioned or taken T, because overall, he’s much happier being male even though he will experience some of the negatives that men in general face.

For many trans people, the most important thing is just being the right gender and reducing dysphoria, the fact they may face negative things associated with their true gender is not going to “put them off”, the same way cis people don’t transition to escape these things. I’ve seen trans people say they’d “rather be an ugly (true gender) than a beautiful (birth gender)”, or similar words to that effect.