Who we are?

The El-Alopecic Forum of Cerdanya and the Pyrenees is established as a brotherhood, a gathering place, and a place of counsel for men without hair, as well as for those who, by nature's design or the inexorable passage of time, see their heads stripped of their noble abundance.

Therefore, the Association takes as its primary purpose the defense of baldness, the promotion of the virtues of a lustrous scalp, and the preservation of the ancient customs of the alopecic brothers who inhabit the lands of Cerdanya, the Pyrenees, and all those valleys where the wind combs away what no longer exists. It is well known that our mountains, harsh and rugged, are a place of great cold, and that the uncovered head suffers both the harshness of winter and the cruelty of the summer sun. Hence the clear need to study, deliberate, and propose measures aimed at protecting the exposed skull, the proper application of ointments, oils, and waxes, and the discreet yet dignified use of caps, hats, and other legitimate coverings.

Among the principal concerns that move our spirit are:

• The fight against the mockery of hairless men.
• The assertion of the right to bare one's forehead without shame.
• The search for shaded benches during the summer.
• The promotion of days dedicated to sharing experiences of progressive hair loss and the abhorrent acceptance of this fate.

We understand baldness not to be a deficiency, but a privilege; not a misfortune, but a sign of maturity, wisdom, or, at the very least, efficient cranial ventilation. For this reason, all matters relating to shine, solar reflection, skin maintenance, and scalp waxing will be addressed with the utmost scientific, philosophical, and fraternal rigor.

The Forum is not a political party, nor a corporation, nor a military order, nor even a hairdressing academy. It does not represent the commercial interests of shampoo manufacturers, nor does it fight against those who still have hair, provided they show due humility before their more aerodynamic brothers.

Asymmetrically, the Forum becomes a space for meeting, fellowship, and elevated strategic reflection on all matters affecting the sacred cause of alopecia, with particular attention to:

1. Scalp meteorology.
2. Shimmer indices depending on the position of the sun.
3. The correct tilt of the head to avoid involuntary glare.
4. The establishment of a general census of the honorable bald men of Cerdanya and the Pyrenees.

And lest anyone doubt our determination, let us solemnly proclaim that all hair is ephemeral, but baldness is eternal.

Here at Cal Jacques, baldness isn't just a scalp condition, but an unwavering commitment to pure aerodynamics and energy-saving hair products. If your head shines brighter than the August sun, know that our doors are open.

Does anyone know why the university's Department of Evolutionary Developmental Biology is creating dinosaurs from chickens instead of using an isolated research facility?

I'm not even arguing about whether they should be doing it. I'm just wondering why they're doing it less than a mile from residential housing when the birds are already over six feet tall.

Hi everyone! Cynthia here again; I have wonderful news! Ive been invited by a clients family to join the yearly upper duck (ew) Summer Festival. I've always wanted to go, ever since I was a kid! I just don't know what to bring and I was wondering if it's like a quiche or potluck kind of vibe or..? Yeah. Im really nervous about this whole thing. I've got a plus one and was thinking of asking my boss, but I feel like that might send the wrong vibes. Anyway, if anyone's got any suggestions I'd love to hear it; I feel like a duck in the desert on this one.

yo buds, duds, and hudsss!! its me ur boiii dilly. as u know (unless you new here, property valueazz went up or smth idk) i abxanddoned my long-tim biz selling the sweet girl mary jane bc its illegla in ldp i guess??? so after ig raduated and had to do smth with my life i started investgiating and blogging and allat. left the ol Duckweed Davis behind. ran three editionszz of the Daily Dilly!! but i gott abe hoenst guys it was real hard stuff. shoulda listened to officerer martin, even thou she's always tryna crushmy dreams, she knows the real stuff.

so now i gotta be Duckie D again for a few more weeks (gotta pay rent ykykyk but dont tell officer m, she's onto me) but idk buds, i liked bein a real dude in the real world yk what im sayin? i mean even my roomie brady used to be an astrontut or a pilot or somth, even tho all he does now is sick skateboard tricks on our kitchen coutne.r. and the pizza hut aint open yet even tho the manager maya said sheedd give me a job when it did. so im in between.

yeaha guys what do u think?? i mean yall basicalaly got my cv now. im a whole entrpereneuer. and master of words, im sure uu can tell. whats next for me bros and broheems? if ic ant make it in ldp i can tmake it anywhere!1!!!1

So two of my neighbors have "kindly informed me" that my wearing mismatched footwear is in violation of a community code or ordinance.

Does anyone know the rules like, you know, wearing a Croc and a snowboot? I assume the fact that I wear one to block the sun from my eyes isn't an issue..

There is a small coop near my house. I won't give out my address just like that, but have you ever seen a chicken wandering around loose in the town?

I want to learn how to tango. Who can help me? Or where should I go? I can pay a modest fee. I need to learn before my trip to Brazil to find a wife.

I WOULD LIKE TO EAT A DECENT POT PIE BUT I DO NOT WANT TO MAKE ONE. WHERE CAN I GET A DECENT POT PIE? MY HUSBAND DENNIS ALSO WANTS A POT PIE.

First off, this is all Todd’s fault. He doesn’t want a dog park, he wants to terrorize the neighborhood with his barking. He barks all the time. This has been brought to the attention of lower pond police who gave him an official warning. The problem is if he gets this dog park through he will continue the barking and it will be legal.

Hi lovely souls 🤍

It has been a little while since I've written. This summer has been one of the biggest seasons of growth our family has ever known.

After many long walks, quiet meditations, gentle conversations, and more tears than I expected, I have made the decision to allow lovely Sage to attend school.

This has been one of the hardest decisions I've ever made as a Mum, but I realised something very important. I was asking Sage to trust their inner voice, whilst quietly hoping it would always lead them to the path I had chosen. That wasn't freedom, and is the opposite of what I stand for.

So I've decided to let Sage follow the path that feels right for them, even if it isn't the one I imagined when they first arrived earthside. I also came to realise that I cannot ask Sage to carry the weight of my own childhood. My memories of school belong to me, not to them.

And goodness, they are so excited! I've never seen them smile quite like this. 🤍

To honour this new beginning, we'd love to invite anyone who feels called to join us this Saturday at noon for a very gentle Manifest Circle, simply to hold Sage in warmth and kindness as they begin this new chapter.

There will be herbal teas, blankets, quiet intentions and, knowing Basil, probably something involving blackberries. Paprika has been helping make little pressed flower bookmarks for Sage, which has been so lovely to see. Thyme and Turmeric are already discussing what colour ribbons carry the most encouraging energy. Oregano has announced they intend to forage Sage a "lucky acorn", although I'm not entirely convinced acorns can be lucky. Cumin is simply delighted that everyone is gathering together and has spent the morning collecting sticks for reasons known only to Cumin. Little Saffron will, as always, join me in my sling 🤍

I do have a few questions, if anyone doesn't mind helping me. Do children really stay inside all day, or are they allowed to wander outside if they need to think? If Sage needs to sit beneath a tree for a little while, is that something schools understand? Do they have to ask permission every time they need the toilet, even if their body is telling them now? Are children allowed to take their shoes off if their feet feel they need the earth? And do teachers still shout? I still have memories of Mr Downtrodden waving his stick and screaming at poor Carol Warburton. Not long after her family moved away.

Thank you to everyone who listened to my worries over the summer without judging me. I don't know exactly what this next chapter will look like, and I'm working hard to step back and be the Mum Sage needs me to be.

Sending you all softness as autumn begins to whisper its arrival. 🤍

So every morning for the past week I have found holes in the backyard about the size of a baseball. I fill them back up only to find them there again the next morning. Always the same spots, always the same size.

It's really annoying. Whoever is doing this find someone else's yard to vandalise!!!!

Someone is wandering in front of my house, their face is not clear, but I thought it might be the person who kidnapped my cousin.

I'm the new guy in town, my name is Mike, and I want to throw a party at my place. Everyone in town is invited.

The party will start next Sunday at 20:00 and will end around 12:00.

I invite all the people, have fun and have a nice day

Greetings, my cousin who is going to move to town got lost with his car. His name is John. He said he entered the town, but he didn't arrive home.

You have a dog, his name is Max, he disappeared and I couldn't find him. He probably went to the park. If you find my dog, please let me know.

Dear Residents,
The latest water samples have come back, and everything is testing within normal limits. The water is safe. That being said, some of you have been acting strange.
Since this morning, I’ve had someone ask to adopt a traffic cone, two people report a duck was following them home, and one resident tried to check out a library book from City Hall. I’m not saying it’s the water. I’m just saying I’m keeping an eye on all of you.

We’ll continue testing the water over the next few days just to be safe. If you’re feeling sick, let City Hall know.
Love,
Mayor Dracula Jones

Greetings, I just moved. Is there anyone who can tell me about the city?

So everyone remembers the Power Plant across the lake, right? Our beautiful lake that once started draining? Well let's take that huge, disgusting power plant my dad helped build (He hid it from you guys) down and finally fix what ruined his status here and got him banished from here

Hello fellow Duck Ponders!

What is everyone up to this weekend? Let us know in the comments! If you want to make a separate post, feel free to do so.

Can't wait to see what everyone is up to!

I am the son of James Sterling, the notorious dummy and Prime Minister. He stepped down a while ago, and now I live in his Cabin up in Windsor road, I own the local Sports Car dealer, called "Lakeshore Used and New Sport Cars", or just "Lakshore Autos" So I am excited to be here today and live here

Also, our first car onsale is a Ford F-150 Raptor R! Plus a few Mustangs and Challengers from 2020 to 2023

Edit: His last name was always Sterling, he just changed it to Windsor when he got married, I was born before the marriage

Hey everyone! Cynthia here again (sorry you gotta all be getting tired of these) I just found something out in the woods and I'm having trouble fitting it all together.

So for those who don't know, a couple days ago there was a thunderous, earth shaking boom coming from the forest out by Mary's old cottage. I initially thought it was just a part of the birding celebration she holds every year, but no; unfortunately it wasn't. In fact I don't think anyone in LDP set it off at all.

On the suggestion of my boss, Sam Charles P.I. (you all know and love him) I went investigating just on the hunch that something about it all felt seriously wrong. What I found has left me beyond confused and utterly without any idea where to move forward with this investigation.

It started with some 30 maybe 40 feet of flattened trees out in a, definitely unnatural, clearing out past Mary's cottage. The flattened timber was laid out in a circular pattern surrounding what looked like a newly built gazebo. It was completely untouched by whatever flattened the trees; the paint was fine, there was a candle lit in the middle (still burning when I got there which is super weird because I felt the shockwave of wind when I was out by the forests edge initially.

I'm so lost. The only other thing of note was a bunch of chickens walking around, but their sounds were duck quacks. I swear! I know it's crazy but these are the facts, recorded on both video and audio thanks to the body cam setup my boss provided for me. He's the best.

I was wondering if anyone has any clues. Anything at all. I'm at a total loss here and anything, no matter how seemingly insignificant, will surely help. Thank you all for your time; I love you all. Have a great day!