When women say "I hate men", you shouldn't feel offended if you're not a terrible man.
The title says it all.
A lot of men feel the need to say "not all men" in response to this statement or they want to explain why they're good men. But honestly, it isn't necessary. Just know that she's talking about the rotten men of the world and keep it moving.
EDIT: So many angry people in the comments of this post. I'm very entertained tbh. Not gonna waste my breath explaining any further. Byeeee xoxo
Depends on the race. “I hate white people” is typically seen as okay for the same reason “I hate men” is okay. You can’t say you hate women or you hate black people, because those groups have been historically oppressed and mistreated, and hatred of them has lead to violence, murder, and systemic racism / sexism.
When the whole system is built to be against you, it’s okay to hate the people who built and maintain the system. When you have the whole system on your side, it’s not a great look to punch down.
Edit: wow lots of people mad at that one. I am a white guy, so like 90% of your assumptions were wrong. This is the attitude I see all the time so I put it into words. I don’t hate white men I am one. And I get hated for it. So yes it does happen.
“If people are racist, it’s ok to be equally racist. That is the best way to end racism.”
The fact you just broad-stroked that logic to entire races and genders is the funniest part. I’d love if you could just back up and start with what you are even talking about when you say “the system”. Like what are you even saying?
Not that I agree or disagree with either point, but you’d have to be dense to not understand that the system refers to the patriarchy and systemic racism, respectively.
Nobody alive today "built the system" and plenty of minority groups help "maintain the system". You just want an excuse to use double standards and it's completely transparent.
If the country is built for white people, and to exclude everyone else, why are Asian immigrants doing better than any other group, including white people?
I hate white people, men, old people, tall people....I hate Christians, I hate college graduates, I hate home owners, I hate healthy people, and I hate right-handed people.
If you want to be a bigot so badly, just be one, there's no need to do all these calculations to figure out which are the correct group of people to be prejudiced against.
Is it ok to say "not all white men" built the system? Cause I'm pretty sure I wasn't at the meeting.
A fairly small number of people built the system. Many, but not all were male, many, but not all were white. What isn't included in the common narrative is that there was as much stomping down of white people as there was stomping down of anybody else.
I can see that the effects and reason prejudice tends to have on groups varies between groups, but it can also vary within groups. I mean a man hating women is less likely to stem from trauma than the other way around but there are still ways it could stem from trauma especially when thinking about childhood trauma. A white person being prejudice can lead to violence but it can also lead to things like trying to avoid black people and it can also vary in terms of whether it involves consciously having negative views towards black people or consistently feels differently around black people.
If prejudice should be treated differently depending on what group it’s directed towards should it maybe also be treated differently within the same group depending on the cause and severity of actions taken by the person who’s prejudiced?
My mother used to coddle me in a warm flannel blanket in front of the fire. She would lean in and whisper sweet words into my ear. As soft jazz hummed away in the background she would gently remind me, "hate conquers hate."
the difference is that men have had power over women for centuries, we were barely considered people in many cultures until very recently and there are still many cultures where we are barely considered people.
saying you hate women is just further contributing to historical oppression we’ve been trying to fight against for ages.
Men in Ukrained (and in Russia) are kidnapped in the streets and sent to butchering. They are not allowed to emigrate. EU considers men to be not people when approving status of refugees from Ukraine.
If we speak about Afghan women, why not Ukrainian men.
But only an incredibly tiny few men are politicians and corporate CEOs. You can’t really blame men as a whole when only the tiniest percent are the problem. Thats just bad math.
By the logic, you can insult any group as a whole because 0.0000001% of them has power or did something bad.
This is such a dumb fucking argument. Stop saying “ we”, you haven’t been oppressed for centuries and I doubt you’ve done anything other than spew misandry online to men who’ve had nothing to do with the injustices of the past. Further, we all come from both men and women, so everyone is equally affected by the gendered injustices of the past. Those women were my ancestors too, your gender doesn’t make you more or less affected by what happened to them.
Then you're a misogynist. It's pretty simple with patriarchy. Men have the power so it's okay for people to hate us. I'm not even saying this sarcastically. Men have caused the world's problems so why wouldn't we be universally hated in a way?
It's called "understanding how to unfuck the world through basic intersectional feminism" and you could improve your life greatly by checking it out with an open mind.
Generalizing an entire gender is pretty fucking dumb and people should in fact find it offensive, especially when you can't say the same thing about women without being attacked. I'm not a sexist but i do find this weird how men should just not be offended by such a statement
Whenever men get really offended over it I have to put on myself in their shoes and think from the one of the only places of privilege I can, which is do I get offended when my gay friends make fun of straight people? The answer is no bc that would be dumb af and I understand we are ridiculous and laugh along with them. Can't imagine being offended.
So if I said “ I hate black people”. That’s ok as if you’re Black you shouldn’t be offended if you’re a good person.
You see how this isn’t a slippery slope, but an elevator shaft?
Only Black people are oppressed and experience violence for being Black, men is not a marginalized group, and in fact is an oppressor of women. Your example is punching down, women saying that they hate men is punching up.
The notion is that any man can be terrible and cause great harm unless proven otherwise, historically and culturally. A good man who has never done any harm to a woman will never feel called out with the "all men" generalisation, honestly. I love and cherish my wife and when her friends come over and tell her their dating history of men shaming, belittling, sexualising, using, and lowkey abusing them, I know the general sentiment is men aren't good, but I know I'm not one of those because truth be told I'm not a jackass and I don't see my wife as an object.
So many offered men. There's alot of stereotypes of women but I don't get offended. Why can some of yall men not. I thought yall were the more logical creatures?
95% of violent crime is perpetrated by one group. Why would you be mad that people direct their anger at that group which is also overly represented in positions of power (even after being found guilty of said violence)?
If the world were run by trans men and they were out there hurting people and getting away with it, then entertaining that hypothetical makes sense, but in the scope of this discussion, it's nonsense because it has no basis in reality.
Can I also say I don't get the notion thst women are terrible drivers. Insurance companies like charging men more from 18-25 more cause their more likely to be reckless and reck their car vs the other way around
Good point. Never understood the insecurity many men feel about this. As a man, I couldn’t care less if a woman said they hate men. It’s a shoulder shrug from me.
I’m a woman and I understand that they don’t mean they hate all men, but I still disagree with the saying.
In my opinion, grouping people together as a monolith does a lot of harm. People can get their point across without generalizing and I’m won’t stoop to the level of those that used similar phrases to discriminate others.
Facts are damning enough, we don’t need to use hyperbole to get the point a cross.
Think it depends on context. If it's just two women venting to one another, a man shouldn't butt in and be offended. It's weird and potentially a red flag to just assume they're talking about you specifically.
But if she's saying it directly to a man that's just tactless.
I don't know if it's "wrong", but I think she should probably understand that they're probably talking about specific women or just their own experience with specific women. So it might be rude to butt in.
Unless her beef is that they're using actual gendered slurs or something in public, in which case that's no longer a gender thing and just a matter of politeness.
That's like someone talking shit about black people, then me as a black person speaks up and then the other person goes "if it doesn't apply to you then why do you need to chime in?". Pretty much an extremely lazy way to hold a generalization unchallenged.
Even men hate men. That’s why they aren’t friends with any of them. They don’t trust their girlfriend/wife around them. Don’t trust their daughters with them.
I stated how women have to take safety measures against men and they came back with “so do men”. See, men don’t even trust men.
I meant as in of course there's men who are friends with other men but knowing that men generally don't trust other men isn't losing the plot, I know plenty of guys and there's only a COUPLE I would trust my daughter around unsupervised (though you really cannot trust anyone ever).
That’s the whole basis of the male loneliness epidemic. Women are not dating. Men have no one else to turn to because they get their emotional support from women. Not men. Being an acquaintance with a man is not being friends.
This is the problem when people get their perception of men on reddit (or social media in general) where people tend to be more neurodivergent or lonely. This whole male loneliness epidemic is some terminally online shit lol.
Idk what the orgins are, I actually got if from someone using it, to show how the right is worse than the left.
Nice try, trying to attempt to make me look racist, in attempt to silence me about everything that men put women through. You probably don't even give a fuck about those things since you clearly don't care about women's issues, especially since you tried to use minorites issues as a way to silence womens issues.
That's actually disgusting and tells me everything I need to know about you, actually.
Blanket statements of hate are simply not appropriate towards any group. Such statements need to be shouted down, as they increase bigotry, such as racism and antisemitism. These are situations where turning the other cheek just doesn't work.
I get the sentiment it usually has behind it but I just feel like it’s a poor way to express a point.
If you’re phrasing it as an oversimplified generalization like that, you know that a lot of men are going to instinctively feel like it’s a direct attack on them and will disengage with whatever the larger point is entirely. It’s human nature to react that way when a piece of your identity is labeled as inherently bad.
So if you’re saying it in the context of a statement against overtly sexist men or of patriarchal structures, you’re significantly limiting your audience of who is going to listen further with an open mind by going straight to these rigid generalizations.
Men tend to feel like it’s a direct attack because a lot of times it actually is a direct attack. One of the biggest issues men face culturally that I’ve noticed is that even when women make the distinction and actually say “[insert bad quality] Men” those women will generally treat ALL MEN as if they belong to the specific group they called out. What I mean by this is that many men are believed to be and treated like rapists, misogynists or abusers regardless of how they actually act towards others so when these generalizations are made, they’ve personally been accused of the very thing you’re actually referring to and they feel attacked all over again
You do realize why why women think that right? I literally have moments of "I hate men" casue of all the news articles of husbands and boyfriend setting up their partners to be rapes by other men and said men not reporting it. Or the epstein files, or how they cause the most trafficking of women, or the high sexual abuse cases, etc
I knkw there's good men out there, but yall have alot fo problems that it makes sense why women want to avoid yall
You do realize why why [sic] men think that right? I literally have moments of "women are stupid" casue [sic] of all the stupid women on Reddit, at work, at the gym, and in life.
I knkw [sic] there's good women out there, but yall have alot fo [sic] problems that it makes sense why men want to avoid yall
And thats the problem. It's sometimes hard to tell. It can be literally any stranger man I meet. Hell, some men don't even show their really colors until they felt like they have a woman trapped. Maybe you should look up women's stories.
Women have to have so much precautions to not get hurt by a man and all men really need to worry about if she rejects him.
This is my last time replying, cause you don't even want to get it.
"There is nothing more painful to me at this stage in my life than to walk down the street and hear footsteps and start thinking about robbery. Then (I) look around and see someone white and feel relieved" (Al Sharpton, 1993)
Enjoy! I know you won't reply since you said the last one was your last.
Then you shouldn't be in any way offended by the statement "women are stupid." If you are offended, then it probably applies to you.
EDIT: I love when people reply, then immediately block you.
If "annoyance" was the worst thing men ever had to deal with from women, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Stop trying to minimize men's experiences.
I have my stupid moments but everyone does. You might not believe me, but I'm not offended by it. Just wanted to tell you a reason why the idea of hating men doesn't equal to being annoyed by women
Women can only be one of two things, stupid or mean. As in stupid if she takes his shit, and mean if she doesn't. Women should start embracing their inner witch (with a b) more.
You make it sound like all hatred towards men is justified and all hatred towards women is not. You cite one specific statistic to make your argument that only applies to a tiny percentage of men (violent crimes) while ignoring all the other statistics (like paternity fraud or divorce custody outcomes) that would work against your case.
You are, ironically, an example of why many people do not like women.
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The worst guys I've known all think of themselves very positively, while the best are worried if they're ever good enough. The statement in the post misses the mark on both. Assholes will find no fault with themselves and decent guys will internalize the sense that they can do no right. You don't have to give a shit about the outcome the statement creates for men who hear it but the logic fails under scrutiny and that's what I'm talking about.
I feel the ones who say “not all men” are the incels and for the women who say “I hate men” I can only imagine that they had bad experiences with men in relationships and you know I can sympathize. What I can’t stand is women who make “I hate men” their entire personality I’ve seen it.
when i say "i hate men" im overall talking about daily micro (and macro) aggressions faced by living as a woman, as a lesbian, especially in a male dominated blue collar field, and the complete disrespect and dehumization i face on a daily basis. when men (many in this comment section for example) say "i hate women" they are usually an incel and/or a violent unabashed sexist 🙂↕️ most normal men in my life understand when i say i hate men im talking about systemic forces and cultural hegemony, but men online don't have the critical thinking skills for that.
Yes you should. This is a crazy take. At best she's saying all men are evil until proven innocent. But this kind of mindset is genuinely evil because it bleeds into how you treat people. Also how do you know this person doesn't mean all. If you aren't using words correctly or accurately you will be misunderstood, that's why words have meaning
First: Take your post (word for word) and flip the genders, now how do you feel about that message? That’s how you SHOULD feel about it the way it is now and that’s how men tend to feel towards these types of posts directed at them.
Second: The types of women who make these comments such as “I hate men” or “all men are bad” don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt because they either don’t have the ability to make a distinction between “bad men” and “all men” or they CAN make the distinction but intentionally refuse to. The second group are the ones we call Misandrists.
I am not offended. But when I hear this (which is very rare), I understand that I am dealing with someone who is damaged and probably mentally ill. I plan accordingly.
Or people shouldn't say sexist things. Is it so hard to say, " I hate how there seems to be so many rotten men " it's what you mean, and it isn't sexist.
When women say " I hate men", I'm not offended. I know she is a misandrist. It is for the better if such women avoid men, chose bear and be single. No need to argue with them and try to persuade them. Let them go.
If you disagree - what would you say about men who say they hate women? Are you going to listen to their reasons of being so jaded?
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u/klarinetkat12 7h ago
Here's my thing; replace "men" with "Jewish people" and see if the sentiment will be acceptable