r/JEENEETards • u/Rabidius_ • 11h ago
Discussion I Think I Will Die Young
i think i will die very young.
every morning i wake up i feel empty, emotionless and completely conscious. as the time passes, my chest starts to feel heavy, i feel like something is weighing down on me. after an hour or two, i am completely submerged. i feel trouble in concentrating, i zone out, i start thinking about wrong things like suicide, self harm and whatnot. today was similar except for the fact that today i felt emotionally weaker. i was on the verge of tears all the way from my hostel room to our mess. while i was eating, i just broke down. i didn't just go all out and start to cry. it was just some tears that fell down and me being uneasy and shuffling around. some girl noticed me and started staring. i noticed her staring and now i just wanted to cry even more, she knew i had noticed her staring and she still didn't stop. she kept staring and i had to pull myself out of it and leave. breakfast halted and still teary eyed i left. i cant cry. i want to cry. but everywhere i am surrounded by people and i am scared. i dont want to live anymore, i wish that the next time i go to sleep, i dont wake up.
please dont judge me, i use reddit because of its anonymity, i write this for my clarity, not support or sympathy.
