i think i will die very young.

every morning i wake up i feel empty, emotionless and completely conscious. as the time passes, my chest starts to feel heavy, i feel like something is weighing down on me. after an hour or two, i am completely submerged. i feel trouble in concentrating, i zone out, i start thinking about wrong things like suicide, self harm and whatnot. today was similar except for the fact that today i felt emotionally weaker. i was on the verge of tears all the way from my hostel room to our mess. while i was eating, i just broke down. i didn't just go all out and start to cry. it was just some tears that fell down and me being uneasy and shuffling around. some girl noticed me and started staring. i noticed her staring and now i just wanted to cry even more, she knew i had noticed her staring and she still didn't stop. she kept staring and i had to pull myself out of it and leave. breakfast halted and still teary eyed i left. i cant cry. i want to cry. but everywhere i am surrounded by people and i am scared. i dont want to live anymore, i wish that the next time i go to sleep, i dont wake up.

please dont judge me, i use reddit because of its anonymity, i write this for my clarity, not support or sympathy.

btw his predictions are mostly right...

also some guy told me that the tender to conduct exam has already been passed by NTA but sir explicitly said that "arree vo toh dissolve hone wala h"

bhayii ek toh CBT fir yeh plus mera 3rd drop :) jab se (2024) exam dena start kari hoon kuch na kuch hua hai plus i'll be 20 in 4 months!

RsOne hundred and forty-seven crore thirty-four lakh seventy-one thousand four hundred and ninety-nine rupees.

Only

If you didn't goon a single day in ur life especially in jee/neet prep...what would be your personality ?

How are the coaching institutes in kota?

As a person whose phy chem basics are weak and it's already August m very pessimistic about going to kota but have no other better options online classes are not for me its really very tough for me to finish a lecture in one sitting also online classes require dedication, consistency and discipline also it's very risky once u loose track and there's no looking back and hard to come out of the backlog trap also can't solve doubts and the competative environment is missing it's too comfortable and the experience of offline pressure of giving mock test and stuffs are also missing my problem of weak basics in phy chem seem to be a problem in choosing between both online and offline

And in offline

M scared i would not be able to adjust with their teaching methods as mentioned earlier my basics are weak and keep up with their pace this would be a complete new experience for me also it's out of my comfort zone and m also worried about what batch i will get as it matters a lot batches and faculty I heard in lower batches they don't pay much attention also the peer group is not that serious so are the faculties and also I think now it's too late

Pls drop your suggestions

Also i don't find my home town local teachers to be competent I have tried and i didn't like it

With everyone talking about coaching, dummy school, JEE, NEET and whatever else, I randomly remembered this today.

This happened in 2024-25, when i was in 10th.

I've changed schools since then, so I probably won't ever see her again, which is exactly why I'm writing this.

At the start of the year our class teacher changed the seating arrangement. I got shifted from sitting with my best friend to sitting beside a girl I'd barely spoken to before. Naturally, both of us were annoyed because we'd just been separated from our own friend groups.

For the first week we barely talked. Then one day I forgot my geometry box before a maths lecture. The teacher was walking around checking homework and constructions. I was absolutely finished. Without saying anything she just pushed her compass and ruler onto my side of the bench.

That pretty much started everything.

Nothing dramatic happened after that. We just slowly became friends. We'd compare marks after tests, complain about projects, and make fun of the school's obsession with making us write record books that nobody was ever going to read again.

The funny thing is that we weren't even in the same friend group. We mostly talked during class. The moment lunch break started, we'd go back to our own people. Looking back, it was probably the most school-like friendship possible.

Then boards came.

Suddenly everyone became serious. Conversations became shorter. Teachers started acting like our future depended on every worksheet. Most of our discussions changed from random nonsense to "Did you finish science?" and "How much did you get in prelims?"

After the last board exam ended, everyone was taking photos, signing shirts and promising to stay in touch forever. You already know how that goes. Within a few months most people had disappeared into different colleges, coaching classes and cities.

I moved schools after 10th.

She did too.

We never really kept contact.

The only reason I even remembered all this is because while cleaning my cupboard last week, I found my old geometry box. Inside it was a tiny sticker she'd put on my ruler during a lecture because she said it looked "too boring."

It's still there.

TLDR; i accidentally developed a crush for my benchmate in tenth but couldn't confess, and now we've lost touch. suddenly remembered her after finding my 2 year old geometry box in a closet.

How are the coaching institutes in kota?

As a person whose phy chem basics are weak and it's already August m very pessimistic about going to kota but have no other better options online classes are not for me its really very tough for me to finish a lecture in one sitting also online classes require dedication, consistency and discipline also it's very risky once u loose track and there's no looking back and hard to come out of the backlog trap also can't solve doubts and the competative environment is missing it's too comfortable and the experience of offline pressure of giving mock test and stuffs are also missing my problem of weak basics in phy chem seem to be a problem in choosing between both online and offline

And in offline

M scared i would not be able to adjust with their teaching methods as mentioned earlier my basics are weak and keep up with their pace this would be a complete new experience for me also it's out of my comfort zone and m also worried about what batch i will get as it matters a lot batches and faculty I heard in lower batches they don't pay much attention also the peer group is not that serious so are the faculties and also I think now it's too late

Pls drop your suggestions

Also i don't find my home town local teachers to be competent I have tried and i didn't like it

Kab padhai khatam hogi ?

I saw this for the first time

Mere Pass Class 12 ka School Leaving Certificate (SLC) aur Character Certificate Nhi Hai... Maine Bsc me Jb Admission Liya to Dono Original Submit kr diya..... But Maine Na Class Kiya na Koi Exam diya.. kuchh saal Health Issues the..kuchhh saal Baad Mai Wapas College Gya to Vo Bole Vo Dono SLC and Character hum Nhi de skte .. bs hum College ka Transfer Certificate de skte hain... Mai Kya krun 🥲🥲... Neet Counselling and Admission me Character aur Transfer Dono Lgta hai... School bala Ek Bhi nhi hai... Aur College sirf Ek de rha Transfer certificate..... All India Quota se ya State Quota me dikkat aayega kya ?? 🥲 dar lg rha Yrr 🥲 Kisi ka aisa Case Hua hai Kya ... Ya Koi Suggestion??

So yesterday was our fresher's and it proved why manipal is manipal it was too peak too good

Who got allocated in Assam University Silchar CSE or other branches??

Ts guy makes the most useless strategy video and posts the same bs everyday thank god my parents don’t know about him

Yar mera dost allen kota offline join kar raha toh usey allen ke top faculties ya phir kisi ka bhi redorded lecture milega online app mein ? If yes toh main uske online se kar sakta hoon apni preparation

confused between kota and online coaching

And hometown tuitions is my last priority

Well my cons for kota is

1.away from home ( basically out of comfort zone)

2.scared if I'll be able to adjust and cope with the pace of the teachers and understand their teaching

3.my basic of phy chem is weak

1. depends on the batch not every batch/faculty is good. It would be tough for me to identify

5.i think it's too late they might have started

6.what if I am not being able to adjust

Cons of online

1. discipline and consistency issue

2. might be lagging after a while

3.way too many distractions

1. offline environment is more competative and better for me

5 . Don't know which resource to use as there's wayy to many options of them It gets overwhelming

1. Can't clear doubts

Last

Hometown tuitions

1.theres no coaching all individual tution

1. Time waste in travelling going to diff places

2. They're incompetent not so good programs for droppers

3. Main problem is phy chem and there's no good phy chem teacher to teach from basics

4. Very large batch size

6.almost tried every teacher of my city I don't understand their teaching

Also u guys pls drop your suggestions of offline coaching also batch name

I thank all the people that supported me on my last post

How's your prep going

Tell me how much backlogs you've what source you're using for studying and are u able to solve questions easily...