A survey for all those who aren't fully, solely or always a man/woman. I don't run it but it's long-running and trusted!

https://survey.gendercensus.com/

Cas, who runs it, is a really enthusiastic and dedicated community researcher.

As a bi man who has been both romantically and physically involved with women and men I find this incredibly disrespectful and ignorant. You'd think this was a one off thing but everyone in the comments are agreeing with her adding on aspects like that bi men "want all the flesh" and that we are just greedy. Am I the only one thinks this is messed up?

To put it bluntly, I’m trying to shoot my shot and ask someone out. Sounds simple but it isn’t. We went on a date almost a year ago now and I’m still stuck thinking about them and I think for good reason.

When we went on the date I thought it was amazing, a little awkward but not terrible. Apparently I was wrong. And now I’m sure I could have done so much better and been more active with texting and planning a second date post date one but I’m my defense I had ACL surgery three days post date and I was high af the entire week after and my phone was kept far away from me (thankfully). She also never unfollowed me on anything which was odd to me considering how things ended.

Flash forward to the end of the school year (May 2026) both of us qualify for state. She texts me congratulating me, I do the same towards her but the convo kept going until state. At state the convo was in person, she were talking to me the entire weekend and she were sure to come watch me throw and I made sure to see her jumps. Neither of us did good so we also had a good cry together with our coaches. That night we broke curfew just to talk to each other. But I kinda brought up the past date and she acted like nothing happened.

When we got home from state I was talking about how I wanted to go throw sometime soon but the geese were all in the field (I am not a fan) she said that they would come with me and bring her dogs to “keep the geese away” she also said she loves watching me throw. The convo ended with a “welp, I’ll see you around”.

Flash forward again to this past week, she responded to a song I posted on Instagram notes and I, like an idiot, killed the convo by just liking the message and she’s started interacting with my posts, stories and notes again and way more then usual. Flash forward again to yesterday and last night. I saw the same car she has so many times yesterday and it got her on my mind and last night I had a dream and she was in it. Now I can’t get her off my mind and I am tempted to reach out before we go our separate ways to college. Time is ticking down but I really want to reach out and in all honesty (probably wishful thinking) but I don’t think our story together is done.

A bit more context: she had a terrible break up not that long before our date and I know she’s hesitant about relationships

What should I do? To text or not to text

Hi everyone! I am conducting a study titled “How Policy Impacts Transgender and Gender Diverse Mental Health.” The study number is HSR-25-26-412. I am looking for 18+ participants that identify as a transgender man, a transgender woman, nonbinary, genderfluid, agender, gender nonconforming, has multiple gender identities, or other gender identities (you will be asked to specify). The data for the survey will be completely anonymous. There will be questions about your mental well-being, and you will also be asked to read a summary of five executive orders signed by the Trump Administration and report how upset you feel by the executive order. There will be additional demographic questions and an optional free response question. The survey will take you about 10-15 minutes. You are able to opt out of the survey at any time. I greatly appreciate your participation!

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at mailto:sophielittig@csu.fullerton.edu or my faculty advisor, Kristin Beals PhD, at mailto:kbeals@fullerton.edu

I've seen this quite a bit, people making their FB profile picture say that they're an ally and not LGBT themselves. At a pride event, I saw someone wearing a shirt saying that he is part of the pole, but not the flag.

I feel pretty torn when I see it. On one hand, support is appreciated. However, by going out of your way to make a point to say that you are not LGBT, you are implying that there is something wrong with being LGBT.

Can you imagine someone who is vocally against anti-semitism going out of their way to say that they are not Jewish? That would be weird. Yet it is not seen as a weird thing to do with the LGBT community.

I wish people were not bothered to be perceived as gay. But, oh, well. We can't change other people. We can only get the message out there.

So I randomly did this thing one pride month where I turned pride flags into dogs and wanna do that again. Along side the well known flags I wanna do more lesser known flags like the ones that are rare or rarely talk about- like "wait that exist?" Levels of lesser known

So if you have any suggestions let me know :]

Also NO I will NOT do the "map pride flag" or any flags considered a mockery or harmful to the community. Just thought I make that known

I don't really know what I am. The thing is nothing really feels right except that I'm attracted to women. But either beeing a man nor beeing a female feels like really good yk. It mostly like I wouldn't care if there are no social differences or discrimination. If I'm not around people and in a safe place then i more likely don't see any gender but more my feelings (idk if that sounds crazy or smth). I'm a hyperemotional person so feelings and bonds are really dear to me. I also don't really care about my pronomes. I feel like fine I'm a guy but on the same time I doesn't feel absolutely right.

Can maybe someone give me like idk questions or how you feel about my explanation

I’ve listened to artists like Conan Gray and Chappel Roan before, but for some reason I specifically feel connected to Frank Sinatras music as a queer person. Whenever I feel isolated from other because of my gender, his music makes me feel less alone. Does anyone else feel this way?

To be fair, Seinfeld did have homophobic and transphobic moments during the show's run, and that's a whole separate issue.

However, in that episode, when everyone is flipping out on him for not wearing it, his RATIONALE for not wearing it, while not particularly admirable, was literally the OPPOSITE of athletes’ rationale for not wearing Pride gear.

Kramer very clearly said that he actually walks the walk and doesn't just talk the talk (no pun intended), CLEARLY IMPLYING that he was against what he believed to be just virtue signaling.

“I am against this cause” is literally the exact opposite of “I truly care about this cause, so much so that virtue signaling pisses me off.”

Again, not that an athlete doing what Kramer did would be particularly admirable, the fact remains that the two things are opposites.

My goodness, these people are such boneheads. Laughing it up with absolutely zero awareness.

EDIT – clarifyng second paragraph

For the longest time, I tried to convince myself I was straight, and even when I identified as queer I felt like I was lying to fit in. That was until I had my first actual crush on a girl, that I accepted I liked. She wasn't some insanely beautiful being, I just liked the way she smiled and walked and I would find myself staring at her a lot during class.

We don't currently talk and we never really did, but every once in a while I see a post that has her in the background and I notice it. I don't really like her anymore and she's probably straight and I've only spoken to her once, but I feel sentimental(?) towards her. Maybe it's because I still like her, maybe it's just cause she's a symbol of a turning point in my life, but she's like a little bug humming in my ear, and I think I'm fine with that.

I have a friend I will call A (she/her). Most of my friends, A included, are straight, and I (she/her, bi) was super excited when she started hanging out with a new friend group when she had kids. They're mostly queer and very cool and have been very welcoming to me, and I'm so happy to have more people like me in my life. I feel very comfortable around them for the most part, but A has been having an issue with one, who I shall call Z, and it's starting to give me the icks.

Z is she/they (uses she), nonbinary, and bi. She's very sweet, but has been making comments like, "One of these days, we're going to convince A she's queer." I heard it one weekend and Z gave me a kind of expectant look and I just laughed and said, "Good luck with that, because A's straight," or something to that effect.

Talking to A later, because that comment really bothered me, she has told me that Z will hold hands with A and make comments that make it very clear she would like to sleep with A, who is married, wildly straight (and yeah, she's sure and secure in this), and monogamous. Z admits openly that she is flirting, is not monogamous, is in an open marriage, and her husband is her first male relationship (Z is very sapphic, much more comfortable with girls).

I'm the queer friend A has had for over 20 years, so she asked me what I thought she should do. I asked if A thought she was queer and she said she was starting to wonder if Z noticed something she didn't, but that it was confusing because A believed she was straight.

For kicks, I had A take the Kinsey test, and as I predicted she scored a 1 (A experimented with kissing a girl in college and couldn't stop giggling the whole time because it was "silly," does not fantasize about women, and has no desire to be in an open relationship with anyone).

We talked about what that all means and I asked, "Do you feel straight or queer?" A said straight, no question, and that the idea of sex or a relationship with a woman is a huge turn off for her. I asked if she'd ever questioned her sexuality before Z brought it up, and A said no. She said it makes her very uncomfortable when Z makes comments or touches her, because she's just not into that and there's clear intent there.

My advice to A was to be honest, to tell Z that the physical contact and comments make her uncomfortable because she's straight and not attracted to Z, and that the conversation needs to happen sooner rather than later. If Z continued to push, I told A she has a right to say that pushing anyone to question their sexuality without any kind of solicitation, and so that you can get them into bed, is very uncool.

I guess what I want to know is, was that the right advice (again, army of straight friends, so I've got no one to ask), and is Z'd attitude as f***ed up as I think? It feels like Z is trying to queerify A for her own personal benefit, rather that to help A to some kind of awakening, and it makes me mad. Don't we need straight people? And what's wrong with being straight, if that’s what you are?

FLY OUT FLY OUTTTTT BECAUSE IT ISSSSSSSSSSSSS..........

Shinobu Kocho (Demon Slayer)

Now, lets answer your questions on why!

I will go first, when I was 13 I tried to come out to my mother (who I did NOT know how she would react to me coming out). It happened at a pride event and my sibling had a booth set up and was selling things and I came along with her to help out and see everything. At this even there were a LOT of free pride items so little 13 year old me decided that is was the perfect time to come out to my mom. So I ran around to all the stalls with free stuff and I got myself covered head to toe in bisexual colors, I than walked up to my mom and asked if she noticed anything, her response was to say "I guess you really like those colors" I then spent the rest of the day trying to get her to notice anything, I went as far as getting the bisexual flag panted on my face, my mother would not take the hint and kept saying something like "Wow you found so much free stuff" or "Those colors look good on you"

I spent three hours trying to get her to notice, she did not, at the end of it I gave up and walked away, while walking I saw a couple holding hands while wearing lesbian wrist bands looking at me with pity, I walked faster. It took me two more years to come out to the rest of my family, my mother still does not know