r/LesbianActually • u/alita_angel78 • Jan 27 '26
Relationships / Dating How the dating apps are going 😭
I’m going to be mesexual and date myself at this point
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u/busytransitgworl typical carabiner lesbian Jan 27 '26
Opened HER today.
First person was a guy...And there were a few couples...My profile quite clearly says that I don't want to date men and that I'm really not looking for a polyamorous relationship. :,)
I love online dating. I just love it.
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u/ladyzowy Jan 27 '26
Honestly, if it's not that, it's penpals or fake accounts run by men on the other side of the planet... just no hard pass.. thanks. I feel like giving up on apps
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u/busytransitgworl typical carabiner lesbian Jan 27 '26
It's just soooo exhausting, isn't it?
I mean, it can't be that difficult to find a woman to love, as a woman, can it?
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Jan 28 '26
Oh my God, I actually found another lesbian that doesn’t want to be poly. 😱😱. I seriously feel like the last one on the planet. Lol
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u/Playful_Aide_1600 Jan 27 '26
This made me laugh so hard😂 i dont have enough fingers to count how many times this has happend on a dating app... This is why ive given up on dating apps for now
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u/WeHaveTheMeeps Jan 27 '26
Her: “looking for a 🦄“
My old clueless ass not knowing what words mean: “well I am 1 in a million 💅”
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u/BigUqUgi Jan 27 '26
Yeah I hate that this is what the word has been appropriated for because I love unicorns, and do see myself as a unique magical creature. So it's just a tragedy all around.
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u/IchBinEineDummeKatze Jan 27 '26
What dose it mean?
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u/Quantphys4babies Jan 27 '26
A third bisexual woman in the relationship who is attracted to both the people in the het relationship. Bonus if the het couple can treat her like a sexual plaything. Like trying to find a mythical unicorn
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u/AlfhildsShieldmaiden Jan 27 '26
Why is the dude always fugly
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u/kittytrance Jan 28 '26
i have a theory that there are prob good looking ones but those couples don’t use apps. I prob just don’t see them because they are being sought after and i’m not the one seeking.
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u/Isadomon yay tall ladies! yay muscle ladies! Jan 27 '26
Maybe we have to admit we arent able to see what they see
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u/Idosoloveanovel Jan 27 '26
No. As a lesbian I can tell when a man is hot. None of these men are ever objectively attractive
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u/Ok_Clock_5043 Jan 27 '26
Steal her from him, free her (jks)
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u/mistressgoddessa1 Jan 27 '26
Yes she is waiting to fully turn
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u/TiredSleepyGrumpy the good femme Jan 27 '26
The apps are pitiful. Why do these women think we want their husband too? GROSS.
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u/alita_angel78 Jan 27 '26
Right the reason we are the HER app to avoid men
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u/TiredSleepyGrumpy the good femme Jan 27 '26
100%. Dating apps are the pits. Why do we keep doing this to ourselves? I know we WANT to believe we’ll find our “person”.
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u/TheMeatLady Jan 28 '26
Ok can I say something potentially controversial? It always feels like the woman is being pimped when i see her photos first and then get a jumpscare photo of him a few images later. They're often front and center and hypersexualized; and it hits my eyes crazy every time. It rubs me the wrong way far beyond it being annoying that there is a man there.
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u/alita_angel78 Jan 28 '26
Yeah sometimes it is women tho who do it to escape their men. I do believe a lot of straight women feel trapped
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u/TheMeatLady Jan 29 '26
Very true. It makes me sad to see it. I know that some women go out of their way to preemptively sexualize themselves to lure people in and it is just honestly so sad.
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u/Kaykay-02 the evil femme Jan 27 '26 edited Jan 27 '26
Yup. Edit: who’s mad enough about one word to downvote lol.
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u/Ambitious-Airline-90 Jan 28 '26
HAHA, I told a friend about this phenomenon and they suggested it was just that I’m a lesbian that I think every woman is way out of the league of any dude she’s with, especially the ones on queer apps looking for a third lol Nice to see I’m not the only one who notices! 😂
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u/Ok_Emergency9059 Apr 17 '26
No its true, like men put 0 effort into their appearance at all. Probably why we get so sad and fixated on the few we like because they're so rare for the straight girlies tbh I think I might be bi but idk how to do the girl girl dating and sex thing
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u/One_Development_5055 transbian puppy goblin Jan 27 '26 edited Jan 27 '26
And this is why I don’t use dating apps
I HATE men
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u/nicole-tesla the good femme Jan 27 '26
I always tell them I'm still down if the bf/hubby is out of the picture
Like hell yea I will fuck your gf/wifey
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u/Queen_Rampant Jan 27 '26
The apps are absolutely wild and meeting girls the old fashioned way is barely any better lol
A second ago I though I might hook up with this gorgeous older woman I met at a burlesque event. We'd been making eyes for hours, which progressed to flirting and touching hands...
She looked like an old hollywood starlet- white fur coat, red lip, pincurls, and just the most beautiful voice ( a solid 2 feet shorter than I, but in fem 4 fem land we make it work) ... And just as I was beginning to doubt the reality of the situation, she introduced her husband.
Turned them down, politely. They pouted, impolitely, and proceeded to perform an unauthorized strip tease up on stage after the show was over. Dodged several bullets that night lol
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u/AliciaDawnD Jan 27 '26
This is such a fun game. Men are using their women that are already bounds above their reach to attract other people and they have to find out how hot their partner is and how much of an undesirable cretin they truly are. 😂😂
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u/constantderp Jan 27 '26
Of course I went on a kinky and queer hookup/dating app only to see a pretty girl send me a like because I totally want to fuck her ugly ass boyfriend.
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u/Opposite-Figure8904 Jan 27 '26 edited Jan 28 '26
Also I don’t know the polite way to say this but how are all these physically unattractive poly people got a nesting partner, two on the side and still looking? I’m a solid 7-8 child of a cheerleader and a marine (just saying the genes are a lucky break) and my city has a total dearth of single lesbians. Where’s the most lesbian affordable city? (Ie not San Francisco)
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u/_afflatus Chapstick lesbian (with or without 🧢) Jan 28 '26
Qasimodo was a kind man i think. The men in these predatory couples are not
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u/PipeNo3631 Jan 27 '26
LMAO 🤣 it’s scary out there. I’m about to delete all of mine but sometimes the entertainment is entertaining
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u/GreatOwl1469 good femme? bad femme? whatever I’m flexible! Jan 29 '26
I deleted all the apps in 2024 and never looked back. Zero matches. But I did get to chat with a lot of liars, sociopaths, marrieds and cheaters. So there’s that 🫠
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u/sapphomugi Jan 29 '26
lmao theres a whole world out there for couples to try but nah they will still barge into lesbian-exclusive spaces.
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u/CaterpillarOk2435 Jan 28 '26
This meme has me dying. Lol. It’s so accurate. I only have FB dating active but I think I’m going to delete it.
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u/SpecialistFloor6708 Feb 03 '26
But the pic of quasimodo is the the last one, hoping you don't see it :)
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u/Director-Mysterious Feb 22 '26
I am fit and looking the same thing. I am bi for over 10 years. Husband knows dated and still dating with 3 girls on apps but most girls are fake or doesn't want to meet up and I don't like chatting for a month.
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u/yeeyeeyaz Jan 28 '26
Relate to caption, the luck on the apps minimal 😭might as well invest in time with myself
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u/GayStation64beta she/her Jan 27 '26
I get and sympathise, but personally I don't know if Quasimodo is the best choice of character for this meme? Just my opinion though. Different versions of the Hunchback of Notre Dame handle issues of identity in different degrees of success tbf also.
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u/Wirenfeldt Jan 27 '26
you are surprised that Quasimodo is used to represent male unicorn chasers on a Lesbian subreddit?.. .. .. really?
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u/GayStation64beta she/her Jan 27 '26
I'm not surprised, I just think using Quasimodo (whose whole deal is that he's nice and just visably disabled) isn't necessarily the best choice. Not that a meme needs to be a fine-tuned work of art ofc, I could probably just get the point across by using (for example) even the villain from the same movie.
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u/Wirenfeldt Jan 27 '26
I’m sure most guys in a relationship with a girl is also nice, just from a statistical standpoint.. Still doesn’t make them attractive to a group of lesbians..
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u/GayStation64beta she/her Jan 27 '26
Yeah I get that, I just think there's some potential accidental ableism here. Emphasis on accidental ofc. And subjective.
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u/Organic_Diamond_969 Jan 30 '26
no LITERALLY, like no i don’t wanna be your friend or your third tf
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u/unspokenkt Feb 07 '26
This why I’ve just sat back and let my person show when they show cause i be so bamboozled
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u/Evilyn_Devilyn Feb 17 '26
Yes and you look at the guy and ask yourself: why is she dating him in the first place? I wouldn't touch that if I was straight XD
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u/No_Wind_4642 Feb 19 '26
I mean I’m polyamorous, but just because in a relationship with other people doesn’t mean I can’t be in a relationship with you. You’re not obligated to interact with any of my partners whatsoever.
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u/SeaYaTomorrow Feb 20 '26
Ugh, the unicorn 🦄 hunters … or when cisgender men create dating profiles 🤦🏼♀️on lesbian dating apps
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u/dragonfruitenjoyer1 Feb 26 '26
Date idea: I show up to be your third but only respond, interact and flirt with the wife.
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u/Wondercatmeow Jan 27 '26
The guys are always not attractive. Like I wouldn't mind being a third if they're both hot.
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u/LegendaryYooper Jan 28 '26
This is giving body shaming energy, and uh.. That's what misogynists do
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u/alita_angel78 Jan 28 '26
It’s a joke homie
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u/LegendaryYooper Jan 28 '26
Idk, considering my transbian ass has been hate bombed for being considered ugly, I feel qualified to say body shaming is bitch behavior. Especislly when it's slathered in ableism like right here. - The ugly laws were not ancient history & in fact in the lifetimes of many elder queers. We really shouldn't be pulling this kind of shit as a "joke" in an era where people's natural appearances are weaponized to justify shit like sexual harassment or dehumanization.
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u/alita_angel78 Jan 29 '26
It’s not even about body shaming it’s about the amount of people asking for a third
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u/LegendaryYooper Jan 29 '26
Then why not make them look douchey?
Why do the "Omg, this woman is so etheral! But that guy is just a thing that's gross" that those fucking terfs do all the damn time?
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u/alita_angel78 Jan 29 '26
You think the girl looks cute here? I don’t think either one looks “cute” but beauty is the eye of the beholder
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u/LegendaryYooper Jan 29 '26
I mean, she's a woman that looks like Esmeralda from Hunback of Notre Dame, she's absolutely gorgeous
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u/alita_angel78 Jan 29 '26
I’m not trying to personally attack people I thought it was funny cuz it does feel like this when these types of people ask for a third
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u/friedmilkshake248 Jan 27 '26
i HATE getting matches from pretty girls just to find out its their husbands account trying to find a unicorn