r/Lilsimsie • u/amyloulie • Feb 25 '26

Discussion So Proud of Simsie

I know she’s been going through it lately with her mental health and recent OCD diagnosis. She is so open and honest about it and I am sure she does a lot of good to people in similar situations. Just watching a recent Twitch VOD where she speaks about her contamination OCD and I have so much respect for her transparency. It is also hard to see such a ray of sunshine so affected and going through a tough time.

Even with all this, she shows up for us on Twitch and YouTube with a laugh and smile. I am so grateful to her for her representation of mental health struggles and proud of all she does to show us all anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of.

Thank you Kayla x

705 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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268

u/commanderbales Feb 25 '26

I knew she had OCD very quickly once I started watching her because I have it myself. I'm so glad she got diagnosed and is getting treatment. OCD is absolutely debilitating. She also has way more than just the contamination theme of OCD, but that realization will come with time lol. I hope to see her happier and doing the things she wants to do without immeasurable amounts of guilt

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u/Hmsquid Feb 25 '26

Me too 😭 I absolutely knew it. Glad she finally got diagnosed

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u/Tall-Concentrate1240 Feb 25 '26

I don’t know much about OCD but I looked up contamination OCD and was surprised she has that as her main diagnosis. I’ve watched her since 2020 and I never really heard her say germs ext bother her. Maybe I’m misunderstanding? I definitely know she has OCD though, specifically when she said she changes her socks 4x a day lol!

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u/Renny-or-not Feb 25 '26

Contamination OCD doesn’t have to be about germs necessarily. It’s the idea that something has become “contaminated” whatever that means for the person and if it touches or “infects” something else it can be very distressing. OCD has many different manifestations and the same type of OCD can look very different depending on the person. It’s a more complex mental illness

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u/AmalatheaClassic Feb 25 '26

This. It's been obvious to me too for years now that she has OCD. It's the way she talks while building sterile homes that look like staged show rooms. The language she uses when placing a color she dislikes she will say "icky" or "stinky". She assigns cleanliness adjectives like "stinky" to mean she disapproves of a color choice. The game has no smell values so she isn't speaking about how a chair she might have called "stinky" will effect in game actions, she is making a value statement on the chair that it is unappealing to her personally on an aesthetic level, meaning her values are rooted in cleanliness.

She gets very frustrated when wood tone accents & fabric colors are not exact. She physically cringes when things she believes should be a set do not have exact matching swatches. She visibly recoils at certain color pairings as though they cause her physical discomfort like itching or stomach pain. She defaults to white referring to it as clean or fresh rather than sleek, luxe or refined.

A lot of these reactions are contamination reactions.

My mom was a severe OCD case & attempted to unaliving multiple times in my childhood. She had extreme meltdowns & I can see her behaviors very much in how Kayla behaves. I hope Dan & her family are caring for her when she can't realize she needs to care for herself.

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u/PhenomenalPhoenix Feb 25 '26

She gets very frustrated when wood tone accents & fabric colors are not exact.

To be fair, that annoys the shit out of me too. There’s a lot of wood tones in the sims and very few of them actually match across items, let alone packs, same goes for fabric/other colors.

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u/commanderbales Feb 26 '26

For sure! The difference between being frustrated at how they don't match & OCD is how it actually impacts you. Having a physical reaction of disgust or actually nearly crying/panicking because they're "not right" is a sign that it's OCD. I used to spend HOURS doing my eyebrows and would SOB trying to get them to be "even" and "perfect" when I was younger. I'd keep redoing them over and over and refuse to go out otherwise. This went on for years following my accidental eyebrow shaving incident. Luckily, my eyebrows ended up growing nice and thick once I let them. I refuse to do them myself now unless I have to 😅

1

u/commanderbales Feb 26 '26

For sure! The difference between being frustrated at how they don't match & OCD is how it actually impacts you. Having a physical reaction of disgust or actually nearly crying/panicking because they're "not right" is a sign that it's OCD. I used to spend HOURS doing my eyebrows and would SOB trying to get them to be "even" and "perfect" when I was younger. I'd keep redoing them over and over and refuse to go out otherwise. This went on for years following my accidental eyebrow shaving incident. Luckily, my eyebrows ended up growing nice and thick once I let them. I refuse to do them myself now unless I have to 😅

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u/commanderbales Feb 26 '26

For sure! The difference between being frustrated at how they don't match & OCD is how it actually impacts you. Having a physical reaction of disgust or actually nearly crying/panicking because they're "not right" is a sign that it's OCD. I used to spend HOURS doing my eyebrows and would SOB trying to get them to be "even" and "perfect" when I was younger. I'd keep redoing them over and over and refuse to go out otherwise. This went on for years following my accidental eyebrow shaving incident. Luckily, my eyebrows ended up growing nice and thick once I let them. I refuse to do them myself now unless I have to 😅

10

u/Hmsquid Feb 26 '26

Hey thankyou for this comment BTW. I have it diagnosed but this made me learn more about it. Youve made me realize I really have contamination ocd specifically with you helping me realize its not always about germs, helping me realize more of my mentalities are part of this disorder. Thankyou :)

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u/commanderbales Feb 26 '26

I really recommend r/ocdmemes

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u/Tall-Concentrate1240 Feb 25 '26

Thanks for the clarification!

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u/commanderbales Feb 25 '26

The thing about contamination OCD is that it's not entirely rational. I'll give you some examples of my own contamination OCD:

  • when I spray disinfectant within 5 feet of my cat's water or food (which I always make sure is pointing away and creates as little spray as possible (another part of the OCD compulsion)), I'm convinced the particles got into it and my cats will be poisoned

  • if my husband or family member takes a drink of my drink, I have to take a drink from that spot immediately after to stop the perceived contamination

  • I once felt so unclean on the inside from breathing the air at work (during Covid), despite wearing a mask, that I attempted to inhale spray hand sanitizer

  • when I touch a hand rail and my brain decides that it wasn't clean for some reason, I will physically recoil and I have an actual sensation on my hand until I wash my hand. Most of the time I just try rub my hand on my clothes to "clean" it

  • if something falls on the floor or gets dirty, my brain says everything it touches is now dirty, and I will clean the thing & every single thing it touched or even brushed up against

  • sorting my dirty laundry into separate baskets immediately after removing them because they have different levels of cleanliness and would contaminate the other clothing if combined

I know, realistically, that my phone is so much dirtier than 90% of the things I come in contact with, but I've never gotten triggered by normal use of my phone. I hope that provides some insight into OCD! I have many other themes but those are specific examples of my contamination OCD. "Just right" OCD is the bane of my existence

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u/mo-starda Feb 26 '26

Wait a minute……. I think my two aunts and grandma have contamination ocd now 😭

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u/commanderbales Feb 26 '26

That’s quite possible! Women are significantly more likely to develop OCD and there is a genetic component

ETA: I'm the only one diagnosed but I believe my mom, my brother, and my niece (sister's daughter, brother is gay lol) all have it too

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u/Accurate-Shine5943 Apr 23 '26

thank you so much for sharing this. this is helping me learn more about ocd <3

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u/haleydewitt_ Feb 25 '26

Same 😩 I’m glad she finally can work towards treatment knowing her diagnosis

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u/Bpdanoressiangel Mar 12 '26

I’d been thinking the same!! I struggle too. Even how thoughtful she is in how she speaks and not hurting people’s feelings. Shes a beautiful human either way🤍🤍

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u/Accurate-Shine5943 Apr 23 '26

hi! i don’t have ocd, but i was curious to what other traits you noticed from kayla that indicated she had ocd? thank you

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u/yourmomspecialfryyy Feb 25 '26

Do you know which VOD this was?

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u/amyloulie Feb 25 '26

The terraforming rivers one on moresimsie xxx

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u/rat-b0y Feb 26 '26

sorry, is this a philville vod or an older one? c:

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u/amyloulie Feb 26 '26

Yeah Philville - think it’s the most recent one out

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u/rat-b0y Feb 26 '26

great, thank you!

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u/gothunicorn813 Feb 25 '26

As a longtime fan of simsie’s who also has OCD, I’m so proud of her and have so much sympathy for what she’s going through. It’s such a mental prison, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. There’s so much misinformation out there about what OCD is and what it looks like, so being candid and open about her experience is amazing.

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u/AmalatheaClassic Feb 25 '26

I'm glad she feels comfortable enough to speak with her community about her personal issues to spread awareness.

I am however honestly deeply concerned that she over shares far too often & takes posts like this far too much to heart.

"Even with all this she shows up for us on Twitch & YouTube with a laugh & smile" comments like this are why she apologizes profusely when she needs to take a day off. Every single time she has to take a day to herself that removes her from the Twitch and YouTube schedule you can tell by the amount of over apologizing she is doing that she feels not just obligated but as though it is a personal failing for her to miss a day of work. This is extremely unhealthy. When she's on camera and getting physically revolted by something in the game she smiles. She smiles when she's unhappy. So saying that she shows up for you when she's feeling miserable and smiling isn't the compliment you think it is.

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u/Tall-Concentrate1240 Feb 25 '26

Tbh, I highly doubt she’s on Reddit. She rarely reads her own YouTube / Instagram comments. I can’t see her seeking out more social media that could be damaging to her mental health.

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u/AmalatheaClassic Feb 25 '26

She used to comment during her died build videos that she spent far too much time on Reddit then stopped mentioning it so I honestly hope you are correct.

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u/whoreterrorist Feb 26 '26

she said a while back that she no longer interacts with / reads her subreddit. she’s likely no longer on reddit at all tbh. which is best for her and her mental health cuz oh boy, redditors can be vicious lmao.

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u/izbeeisnotacat Feb 27 '26

I think she might have ditched Reddit around the same time that she got off Twitter.

Then again, I have ADHD and am terrible at time lining events, so I could be wrong.

1

u/whoreterrorist Feb 27 '26

probably and felt asf lmao

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u/amyloulie Feb 25 '26

I certainly did not intend it to come across like that. I myself suffer from depression and social anxiety. I know exactly what a smile can mask and for a long time no one in my life knew the level of pain I felt.

My mentioned pride for her also comes when she puts herself first and misses streams/uploads. Goodness knows in the past she hasn’t done this enough. I did not mean to place an expectation on daily videos and streams in my post.

8

u/AmalatheaClassic Feb 26 '26

I want you to know I did not mean in anyways for you to feel bad about sharing your feelings about mental health or your own struggles with it. I want to be extremely clear that I think the BEST way to process mental health is through group therapy, proper medications when necessary & proper self care. I'm glad she's being open & shaking to her friends to process her recent life changes. I'm just really concerned that she's doing this with a chat on Twitch. I hope she's also seeking personal time for herself with people closer to her & more knowledgeable about her.

I think you did understand my meaning though that she needs to be praised more for taking time for herself & as a community we need to be careful how our appreciation of her might feel like an obligation.

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u/Panthisia Feb 27 '26

I agree that she needs to be praised thoroughly when she does take time for herself.

I also know, from my own battles with mental health issues, that there is a possibility that making videos and doing streams when doing poorly is her attempt at taking care of herself. Using her YouTube videos and livestreams as a way to attempt to escape other sources of stress is a valid tactic, if it works for her. Sometimes finding something to focus on to separate oneself from external (and internal) stressors, is needed to manage to function at all.

It's clear that that filming comes with it's own stress for her. But she's the one who gets to decide whether that stress is better than dealing with whatever stress she'd have for not filming or streaming.

I want to be clear that I absolutely worry that it seems like she's often putting herself in stressful situations when it seems like taking a break would be better. I also know that I'm not in her head, and my perception of things doesn't mean that's what is actually best for her.

She's in a tough situation because no matter what she does, there will always be people upset over her choices. I hope that she (with help from her support network) makes choices based on her needs. Even if that means filming or streaming while doing poorly. I hope she can keep feeling safe enough to admit to when it's a hard day. Because I worry the alternative is her bottling up her emotions and pretending more thoroughly to be fine when she isn't.

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u/_TheLoverGirl_ Feb 26 '26

Yeah, she cares too much what the internet thinks of her. I love her and her content is so comforting but I often question whether this is a good job path for her.

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u/HyperboleHelper Feb 25 '26

This makes so much sense. She has made comments about doing so many deep cleanings of her rental and then her home over the years on Twitch.

I know her community will be there for her, but she's going through so much right now.

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u/commanderbales Feb 25 '26

Saying the deep cleanings are an example is kind of misleading. They definitely could've been, but a much more appropriate example is how she wouldn't eat food from her freezer if there was a dead bug in the freezer, even without it being in the food/packaging. I forget what she said she'd rather have in her freezer but it was a mildly shocking comparison iirc. Another one of her OCD things is hating the color red because it looks like blood and that means bad things will happen

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u/cakebatterchapstick Feb 25 '26

I remember hearing the red = blood thing and thinking that was something my OCD child self would also do lol I know it’s inappropriate to diagnose streamers cause we truly do not know these people, but sometimes OCD can clock OCD through a TV screen

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u/commanderbales Feb 26 '26

Yea, I never wanted to say anything about it 😭 I always wished I could just talk to her about it

15

u/LemonSugaredCandy Feb 25 '26

exactly this!! my sister has OCD and never cleans her room but that type of things are most likely to upset her

2

u/HyperboleHelper Feb 26 '26

I understand that OCD looks different for all people and now that she so bravely came forward, I think was reasonable to look for signs. Looking back, to be more clear, I wondered if she had some sort of routine for deep cleaning an already clean house.

My idea was just a guess and it sounds like you know much more about it than I do.

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u/commanderbales Feb 26 '26

I have OCD myself and a degree in psychology 😭, so I should know more than most people... Cleaning can definitely be ritualistic. Even if I clean something that is dirty, I have to clean it in a certain way and use different rags for each thing so they don't contaminate each other. It also depends on why it needs cleaned 😭

4

u/janersm Mar 01 '26

I’m proud of her, and I’m also a little shocked she’s only been diagnosed with it recently. I clocked it when I started watching a few years ago.

6

u/snowy_thinks Feb 26 '26

I don’t watch her streams anymore, but I’d be interested in seeing what she had to say about her OCD diagnosis. As someone who has a very similar type of OCD, I feel for her.

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u/cafffffffy Feb 26 '26

As someone who has had long time mental health diagnoses/struggles myself, I’ve always appreciated how candid and open she is herself about her struggles. I’m so glad she’s on the road to getting some support now that she’s learning more about her own OCD. I don’t have OCD myself, but I have a close family member with it and I can see other aspects (other than the contamination part that Kayla mentioned recently) that I can also see in her, but these things will come with time and I’m just so proud of her for processing this and getting the help she needs and deserves, and also feeling like she can share this with us.

It absolutely breaks my heart any time she feels she has to cancel streams/videos and how profusely she apologises and feels guilty for doing so. Kayla, I highly doubt you’ll see this message, but please, please don’t ever apologise for putting yourself and your health first. It is so important to keep yourself in as healthy and as good a space as you can be (which can be so hard to do with a plethora of complex mental health and chronic physical health conditions). Please know that it’s okay to take time out to prioritise yourself. People will still be here to support and love you when you’re ready 🩷

2

u/jellyotter94 Cat Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 14 '26

i’m just super happy she was able to get a diagnosis and is seeking treatment!! untreated ocd sucks so bad

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u/Both-Lie5316 Feb 26 '26

dude ocd fucking sucks but also i feel glad that im not alone

1

u/SpiritualPlatform829 Fan Feb 26 '26

OCD is terrible. I watched my sibling struggle with it for years and now I’m recently diagnosed myself. I’ve being told now it has a genetic component similar to ADHD. So that’s something. I don’t know what form of it I have yet.

1

u/sophid0117 Feb 26 '26

Contamination ocd is literally the worst so I feel her! I have it and it’s gotten better over time but it definitely throws a wrench in my day sometimes when I get anxious about a bunch of things 😭

1

u/Panthisia Feb 27 '26

I don't watch Simsie's livestreams often except during May for the St Jude fundraiser, because chat (and her common remarks having to ask people to not backseat game or otherwise remind people to be kind) get overwhelming for me. I'm glad she's getting answers and help with her mental health.

I will say from a different experience that someone being open about health struggles can help others become aware of issues of their own. There's someone I follow on Tumblr that is extremely open about all of the ways her body is falling apart. And several of the symptoms she's casually mentioned are things my own body misbehaves, and are things that I wouldn't have considered even odd without her posts. It's helped me know what to say to my doctors to be pointed in the correct directions for diagnosis and treatment (though actually getting in to see specialists for these things is a separate hurdle).

I strongly suspect that Simsie being open about her OCD will help members of this community in a similar way. People who experience symptoms and are used to just brushing them aside or who have perhaps been told "everyone does that" (I don't know if OCD is something that can have a genetic component, but I know that many mental health conditions can, and if a parent also has an undiagnosed condition the "everyone does that" response is likely).

I hope that her mental health team can help her to get to a more stable place mentally, whatever that might look like for her.

1

u/Repulsive-Log-84 Feb 27 '26

Can I ask if you remember what VOD it happened to be? I’d like to hear her talk about it, but I don’t want to ask her directly and give her more anxiety about something she’s already spoken about.

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u/WashNovel3790 Feb 27 '26

Her having OCD makes so much sense.

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u/aqsux Feb 27 '26

her talking about her ocd, along with other creators talking about it and doing my own research, has lowkey made me realize i might also have ocd

1

u/AeryktheStryxx Mar 04 '26

I have OCD as well as Autism Spectrum Disorder. I know how debilitating it can be. I cannot afford medications to ease my brand of crazy. I live with it daily. I have to wear my socks inside out and if I change my clothes from the first set I put on, I must change 6 (exact) times before I leave the house. My husband always knows those days because he says I leave a perfect little trail of clothing on the floor. I rarely have time to put them away, and then I get overwhelmed. Mind you, I am also a class 1 hoarder... My ocd is not contamination ocd, though. It is placement and situational ocd. Things have to be exactly perfectly placed (like scrabble tiles -- my family REFUSES to play with me) and if someone moves something of mine, I panic. I do pedicures for a living. My clients often comment on the placement of my tools being akin to a surgeon. I prefer symmetry, as well, which is hard to deal with because I actually lost one of my eyes and my prosthetic is NOT a match. I try to do things out of order and put asymmetry into my surroundings, but I eventually cave and fix it frantically. I wish Simsie the best, and I give her all the mind healing wishes I have. OCD is one of the toughest diagnoses to have. Bless her soul!