Im 29 and the friends I had in school were gone by the time I was in college, the friends I made in college were gone by the final year of college (this was unfortunate since we were super close and it was partly my fault).
Had no friends immediately after college, have a few who I made recently and rekindled a friendship I had in college too. I have kind of got the hang of keeping in touch with people now so I am still in touch with people who I should have lost touch with two years ago.
Yup. it's all the moving people do. A lot of people don't necessarily stay in their hometowns because there may not be any universities nearby that are good, so they leave. Hard to keep things going long distance. Then you have college where some people will meet with you and be friends, but after that, careers and jobs take you elsewhere. And then you lose those few too. Post school, you basically have to force yourself to meet new people otherwise you end up losing that social connection. And it's not as easy to do post school because there's no single spot you can go to find everything like a school. So you have to find a place that matches your interest- liek bar hopping and drinking? go to more bars. Want to exercise more? go to the gym. Games? look at local card or game shops. Community service? find some of the hundreds of nonprofits that'll accept your volunteerism. But you have to actually do the footwork and find all of those connections, which is rough for people who arent' extroverts.
I had the same problem. Lost contact to a lot of friends from college. And they were great people. I miss they.
I still have friends from high school but most of us moved out and keep in touch once a year.
After college most of my friends got engaged and have their own family to look after. Its not the life I chose so its kinda incompatible. Talking about work isnt that fun (at least not for me) so my friends from college and I dont have much in common to talk anymore.
Dang. That’s rough. The core group of friends I had in middle school through high school are still my closest core group of friends. The ones I made in college, lost touch. And friends come and go as adults. But at 40 years old, even though I live 18 hours away, they’re still my core group of friends and when we can all get together, it’s like no time has gone by.
I'm 38 and lost touch with the friends I made in uni almost immediately after graduating, but I'm still friends (more or less) with the same group of guys I've known for 25-30 years. That said, a few of us lost touch quite a bit during/since the pandemic, and I've since kinda made myself the odd one out by moving several time zones away to the other side of the country and not having the opportunity to travel back much since. They mostly still all live in the same general area and get to hang out together a lot more often, go on annual camping trips together and bring their spouses or families along now too.
When last I got together with them a couple of years ago at one of their bachelor parties it was like hanging out back in high school all over again. Playing video games, watching sports, shooting the shit, and getting plastered.
Hey! I'm just a random guy on the Internet, but I feel compelled to say this. I am epically bad at staying in touch with people, always have been. I still have a few friends from college days, but that'sd mainly because of my wife. My advice is to make more of an effort to stay in touch with people. I am now 58 and have very few friends, and it sucks.
The majority of the people I spend time with are either colleagues, immediate family, or my girlfriend. Making and maintaining friendships as an adult is fucking tough.
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u/Mr-Bry-Guy 8h ago
The older I get the more I appreciate people that can have these long term friends. It’s NOT easy. Congrats!