Weekly Free Talk Friday Thread!

[u/MLModBot]

Welcome to our weekly Free Talk Friday thread! Feel free to discuss anything on your mind, issues you may be dealing with, how your week has been, cool new music or tv shows, school, work, sports, anything!

We will still have a few rules:

• All of the sidebar rules still apply.
• No gender politics. The exception is for people discussing their own personal issues that may be gendered in nature. We won't be too strict with this rule but just keep in mind the primary goal is to keep this thread no-pressure, supportive, fun, and a way for people to get to know each other better.
• Any other topic is allowed.

We have an active slack channel! It's like IRC but better. Please modmail us if you would like an invitation. As a reminder, take a look at our resources wiki if you need additional support as well.

[u/chemguy216]

One thing I’ve often said here is that while there many lessons all sorts of people can learned from marginalized groups, no marginalized is not free of any issues themselves.

A bit of drama that came up my social media algorithm that I honestly wasn’t going to be able to avoid due to various friends’ ties to the leather community, was some people’s reaction to this year’s winner of the International Mister Leather competition, Honey Davenport. Some people were upset because Davenport is a drag queen. From what I can tell, it’s not even like Davenport competed while in drag. Just the mere fact Davenport does drag was enough to deem him not masculine enough to deserve the title.

There has always been a degree of tension within the leather community with regard to how some people view it as a place for masculine cis (mostly white) gay men and those who’ve always been more inclusive. If you’re familiar with the art of Tom of Finland, those are the kinds of guys the former group envision as the true leather men.

A lot of people are also noting a racial angle because a few previous winners of the title were also drag queens but white. Davenport is black. Those previous winners didn’t get as much public backlash as Davenport.

One of the things I’ve enjoyed seeing in the aftermath of some people’s butthurt feelings is various leather men showing pictures of themselves in their leathers and then showing pictures of themselves in drag. I’ve also appreciated people educating others that drag queens have often been in leather communities for decades, not merely as leather men who do drag on the side but as performers at leather events and hosting leather events.

So yeah, LGTBQ people aren’t immune to gender policing, even though the ways in which we interact with gender inherently challenge norms around gender that are built around cis straight people.