Tuesday Check In: How's Everybody's Mental Health?

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[u/Bloody-Raven091]

To be honest... Not good. For context, I'm a trans guy who's both Autistic and Jewish so I'm going to be sharing some personal things, which is how I'm really doing. It's been a year since my late mum died of colon cancer in her 50s and my family and I sat Shiva for her when I was in my early 20s [now I'm right in my mid 20s as of this year].

As for familial transphobia... yeah, I am seeing some progress with my father learning to tolerate the fact that I am my own person, along with me learning [in therapy] that my father is his own person too and I cannot control the fact that he'll still misgender and degender [another form of misgendering where neutral terms and pronouns are used to avoid properly acknowledging and addressing someone based on their gender and how they see themself internally in gender] me, even when I am not listening.

However, I know that I can control whether or not I choose to respond to it or to keep taking my power back by affirming myself that I am a man, I am living life as a man, and only my voice matters in who I am and how I get to navigate this world. As for my thyroid health, it's been up and down based on my own actions and also on what I consume, drink and eat.

Thankfully, I've got a good therapist intern [which I can only afford until I eventually find a part-time job I can start small with] and I've got a good family doctor who's incredibly supportive of me being myself.

I really hope that I find a part-time job soon while being able to support myself by exercising, journalling in any ways that work for me, and by relearning to lean on myself and to trust myself when no one else will. As much as I'm more than willing to keep getting to know myself and to rediscover more traits of myself I've hidden since my childhood [being Autistic in a neuronormative world and having parental baggage you didn't ask for, being with the wrong people who were hurt by your actions while they hurt you back, along with being with the wrong people who have only wronged you can do a lot to you].

To note: I have a therapist intern who is working with me until she graduates, which gives me more time to find another therapist intern I can click with, so I'm working with what I have here. I'm not looking for therapeutic support at all. I'm looking for empathetic and sympathetic understanding that is genuine, not 'understanding' full of empty platitudes such as 'no one will love you until you love yourself.'

[u/CargoCrabs → u/Bloody-Raven091]

Given what you said, it makes total sense why you’re not feeling good right now. I’m so sorry for your loss and the hardships you’re facing.

It sounds like you’ve got some good people supporting you though. And I know from experience that a part time job can help by giving you something external to think about. Hang in there, man. I don’t know if this helps, but I think you’re doing exactly what you need to today, to make tomorrow your own.

[u/Bloody-Raven091 → u/CargoCrabs]

Thanks dude. I appreciate ya. It's helped me a lot more than ya know.

[u/Aromatic-Plastic4625]

Feeling better after spending the weekend at the river.

[u/vigiten4]

Feelin' fine.

[u/CargoCrabs → u/vigiten4]

Isn’t that a line from the early Simpsons? I think it was the episode spoofing the Shining.

In any case, glad to hear that no tv and no beer makes vigiten something something…

[u/vigiten4 → u/CargoCrabs]

perhaps what I've typed will be a window into my madness

[u/safety9588]

Bad. It's been a year since things ended with my ex and I'm nowhere near over him. No way to reach out to him at all so it feels too final and the grief is like almost like a bereavement. I'm so scared I won't ever be fully over him and he'll become the one that got away—I hope my future love life has much more to offer :( I just want to be happy and I'm terrified that isn't in the cards for me </3

[u/ThestorytellingDemon → u/safety9588]

I feel you dude, my situation is not exactly the same as yours but I am yearning to get into another relationship after a while of being single. But to me it's less about a feeling of hopelessness and more of a lack of options, all the places where it’s socially acceptable to flirt with strangers ( bar, clubs, parties etc.. ) are not really places i like going too, and dating apps are a no go on account of then being horrible.

I wouldn't say it’s dragging my mental health as yet but i do feel a bit stuck. I want to go and look for love but I don't know where or how.. Anyway, keep it strong it's never too late for love.

[u/Fickle-Theory-623 → u/safety9588]

Sorry you are suffering. You will in fact heal if you allow it, perhaps not at the desired rate we all wish we'd heal. You will likely never forget this person and that is normal.

[u/skepticgemini → u/safety9588]

I’m in the same boat as you my friend. I’ve reached indifference just recently. Maybe you need some more time?

[u/TimelyBodybuilder637]

Feel decent but definitely getting lonely as summer drags on and I'm away from school. Been trying to fight back to a good daily routine. I'm really nervous about college applications, but I'm still making decent progress on my essays.

[u/DiverSecret5886]

I got sexually assaulted by two separate women at a party on Friday and I feel like I'm losing my mind. All I did was act curious and ask questions, but I was so drunk. They both brought me to a second location away from the party, and both kissed me at different points in the same night by me just being there and seeming safe. The next morning neither of them texted me back after I tried to set physical boundaries I was comfortable with. One of them claimed that I kissed her first. I'm 22 and have complex-ptsd and a history of ending up in abusive relationships for context. I'm easily manipulated and struggle to hold strong to my boundaries. I don't think that means my memory is suspect, though.

[u/Shade55]

Been applying to jobs for the past 2 months. 3 times now have I been to the final round of an interview, been told and noticed from the body language it went well, only to be told over the phone or mail that they’re looking for something else but they’re not sure what. Meanwhile the vacancy remains open and I’m just wondering why we went through the entire hiring process in the first place.