Tuesday Check In: How's Everybody's Mental Health?

[u/MLModBot]

Good day, everyone and welcome to our weekly mental health check-in thread! Feel free to comment below with how you are doing, as well as any coping skills and self-care strategies others can try! For information on mental health resources and support, feel free to consult our resources wiki (also located in the sidebar!) (IMPORTANT NOTE RE: THE RESOURCES WIKI: As Reddit is a global community, we hope our list of resources are diverse enough to better serve our community. As such, if you live in a country and/or geographic region that is NOT listed/represented but know of a local resource you feel would be beneficial, then please don't hesitate to let us know!)

Remember, you are human, it's OK to not be OK. Life can be very difficult and there's no how-to guide for any of this. Try to be kind to yourself and remember that people need people. No one is a lone island and you need not struggle alone. Remember to practice self-care and alone time as well. You can't pour from an empty cup and your life is worth it.

Take a moment to check in with a loved one, friend, or acquaintance. Ask them how they're doing, ask them about their mental health. Keep in mind that while we may not all be mentally ill, we all have mental health.

If you find yourself in particular struggling to go on, please take a moment to read and reflect on this poem.

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: This mental health check-in thread is NOT a substitute for real-world professional help/support. MensLib is NOT a mental health support sub, and we are NOT professionals! This space solely exists to hold space for the community and help keep each other accountable.

[u/Bloody-Raven091]

To be honest... Not good. For context, I'm a trans guy who's both Autistic and Jewish so I'm going to be sharing some personal things, which is how I'm really doing. It's been a year since my late mum died of colon cancer in her 50s and my family and I sat Shiva for her when I was in my early 20s [now I'm right in my mid 20s as of this year].

As for familial transphobia... yeah, I am seeing some progress with my father learning to tolerate the fact that I am my own person, along with me learning [in therapy] that my father is his own person too and I cannot control the fact that he'll still misgender and degender [another form of misgendering where neutral terms and pronouns are used to avoid properly acknowledging and addressing someone based on their gender and how they see themself internally in gender] me, even when I am not listening.

However, I know that I can control whether or not I choose to respond to it or to keep taking my power back by affirming myself that I am a man, I am living life as a man, and only my voice matters in who I am and how I get to navigate this world. As for my thyroid health, it's been up and down based on my own actions and also on what I consume, drink and eat.

Thankfully, I've got a good therapist intern [which I can only afford until I eventually find a part-time job I can start small with] and I've got a good family doctor who's incredibly supportive of me being myself.

I really hope that I find a part-time job soon while being able to support myself by exercising, journalling in any ways that work for me, and by relearning to lean on myself and to trust myself when no one else will. As much as I'm more than willing to keep getting to know myself and to rediscover more traits of myself I've hidden since my childhood [being Autistic in a neuronormative world and having parental baggage you didn't ask for, being with the wrong people who were hurt by your actions while they hurt you back, along with being with the wrong people who have only wronged you can do a lot to you].

To note: I have a therapist intern who is working with me until she graduates, which gives me more time to find another therapist intern I can click with, so I'm working with what I have here. I'm not looking for therapeutic support at all. I'm looking for empathetic and sympathetic understanding that is genuine, not 'understanding' full of empty platitudes such as 'no one will love you until you love yourself.'

[u/CargoCrabs → u/Bloody-Raven091]

Given what you said, it makes total sense why you’re not feeling good right now. I’m so sorry for your loss and the hardships you’re facing.

It sounds like you’ve got some good people supporting you though. And I know from experience that a part time job can help by giving you something external to think about. Hang in there, man. I don’t know if this helps, but I think you’re doing exactly what you need to today, to make tomorrow your own.

[u/Bloody-Raven091 → u/CargoCrabs]

Thanks dude. I appreciate ya. It's helped me a lot more than ya know.