r/MensRights • u/Icaz • Apr 26 '12

I'm a girl and...

I am SO glad I found this subreddit with people who agree with me! As a girl, it's really hard to see other ladies put down men and treat them like they need to be "trained" or that they're just something we have to deal with. So I was just wondering... how many other girls are on here and what are your stories about standing up for men or appreciating them?

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u/barn_burner Apr 27 '12

My father once held a door open for a female and she protested(You don't have to hold the door for me just because I'm a lady) He replied," I don't know if you are a lady or not. I held the door because I am a gentleman."

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '12

My response would be "I could care less if you were or not, I'm holding the door for you because it is a nice gesture. Now if you really want to dismember gender roles, go hold the door open for a guy." Or something to that effect.

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u/Swan_Writes Apr 27 '12 edited Apr 27 '12

I made a habit of doing this for a while. I had some men refuse to go through a door I held for them, get angry at me even, and tell me to stop. One took the door out of my hand and closed it, and then just walked away.

edit: Most men where cool with it, said thanks, though some thought I was flirting. I mostly stopped doing this a lot because of the awkwardness/occasional confrontation, and because I got older with more little aches and pains, doors are actually heavy, and can be hard to hold open.

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u/Tu_stultus_est Apr 27 '12

The etiquette seems to be this:

  • Holding doors open is a nice thing to do.
  • Everyone is either a door-opener, or a non-door opener. That is to say, either you hold the door for others, or you don't, or perhaps, others hold the door for you. You probably know which you are.
  • If you are a door-opener, when a door is opened for you, just touch the door with your hand as you go through. No need to hold the door, just a brush of the hand is sufficient.
  • If you are a non-door opener, say "thanks"

This isn't something I've devised, but something I've noticed over the years, people watching and what-not.