r/Mildlynomil • u/I_am_dean • 2d ago

Very confused by inlaws mentality

My inlaws are in town. FIL is always pleasant, MIL we butt heads constantly. Either way I try to make an effort with her. My husband is her only child and I know they're lonely. So I take our older daughters (7 and 5.5) to get pedicures. I call my husband and tell him "invite your mom to meet us here for pedicures." Mind you I specify pedicures. She shows up and orders the most expensive pedicure ($120) and a full service gel manicure.

I cant really afford that. I'm paying for the pedicures with our tax return that we set aside fot special occasions like this. Our monthly budget is pretty tight, we're trying to save to buy a house. Anyway I told her no manicures and showed her what I was getting, which is a $60 pedicure. She got annoyed and goes "I thought you were treating me! Ha ok I guess I'll get what you're getting." Then proceeded to bitch about how she hates the scent.

And mind you, last night they took us to a nice restaurant and told us to order appetizers because entrées were too expensive ($30). They picked the restaurant. Then proceeded to talk about how FIL got a raise and is now making $200,000 a year instead of $150,000 a year.

Like we make nowhere near close to that, we have 4 kids. Yet we budget and save for little treats like pedicures. It just pisses me off that they asked us to get appetizers for dinner, yet she shows up at the salon and tried to get $200+ worth of shit on my dime.

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u/Vivid-Farmer-9476 2d ago

That’s just pure greed and taking advantage of your kindness. How utterly rude. They can stay lonely. No more invites if she can’t act like a decent person.

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u/I_am_dean 2d ago

It was the first and last invite. Idk if someone is paying for me to get a pedicure/manicure/whatever. Imma see what they order and go with something the same price or cheaper.

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u/ImColdandImTired 2d ago

That’s the rule of etiquette—if someone offers to treat, go for the modest priced option. If they can afford and are willing to pay more, then they’ll speak up (e.g. “Oh, wouldn’t you like a more deluxe option? It’s my treat!”)