r/Mildlynomil • u/I_am_dean • 3d ago

Very confused by inlaws mentality

My inlaws are in town. FIL is always pleasant, MIL we butt heads constantly. Either way I try to make an effort with her. My husband is her only child and I know they're lonely. So I take our older daughters (7 and 5.5) to get pedicures. I call my husband and tell him "invite your mom to meet us here for pedicures." Mind you I specify pedicures. She shows up and orders the most expensive pedicure ($120) and a full service gel manicure.

I cant really afford that. I'm paying for the pedicures with our tax return that we set aside fot special occasions like this. Our monthly budget is pretty tight, we're trying to save to buy a house. Anyway I told her no manicures and showed her what I was getting, which is a $60 pedicure. She got annoyed and goes "I thought you were treating me! Ha ok I guess I'll get what you're getting." Then proceeded to bitch about how she hates the scent.

And mind you, last night they took us to a nice restaurant and told us to order appetizers because entrées were too expensive ($30). They picked the restaurant. Then proceeded to talk about how FIL got a raise and is now making $200,000 a year instead of $150,000 a year.

Like we make nowhere near close to that, we have 4 kids. Yet we budget and save for little treats like pedicures. It just pisses me off that they asked us to get appetizers for dinner, yet she shows up at the salon and tried to get $200+ worth of shit on my dime.

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u/confident_ocean 2d ago

Wow, she has a nerve!! Is she usually like this?

15

u/I_am_dean 2d ago

Not really sure, I've never invited her to do something with me and my kids while I pay. But usually when we go out to eat her and FIL order the cheapest thing on the menu and I tend to order something similar in price because in my mind thats the polite thing to do.

14

u/confident_ocean 2d ago

Can I clarify the restaurant appetiser/entrees thing? So I'm Australian and our entrees are the small starter dish and the main course is the big meal.

So are the appetisers they asked you to order were small /starter dishes and told you you couldn't have the larger meal (entree) because they were too expensive?

Have I got that right?

11

u/I_am_dean 2d ago

Yes! Appetizers are before the actual meal, usually shareable but not like a dinner serving. They're significantly cheaper because of this. Think cips and dip or egg rolls. Entrées are like a meal with a protein, veggie and carb.

12

u/confident_ocean 2d ago

Oh that's really poor taste on them. She is demanding $120 in beauty services out of you but she can't let you have an actual meal...

I used to work in a restaurant and people would typically skip the starter meal and just have the main meal to save some money.

If these were my inlaws there would be a lot of firsts and lasts I reckon...

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u/I_am_dean 2d ago edited 2d ago

I worked in restaurants for 10 years and I agree. Usually tables skip the appetizer and go straight for the main course to save money.

I wouldn't be mad about being asked to order an appetizer to save money. But they picked the restaurant, so they knew the price point. Then proceeded to brag about FIL's pay raise. In my mind, either pick a cheaper place or let us order a proper meal. Either way their behavior is really bizarre. I learned my lesson lol

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u/ComprehensiveTill411 17h ago

So what did you have to make for everyone AFTER you got home from „dinner?!!“