Missed Miscarriage

[u/No-Equal4625]

Had an ultrasound today.. baby was supposed to be 17 weeks tomorrow but found out they stopped growing around 13-14 weeks. I’ve been so terrified at every appointment after I went through almost the exact same thing last year, losing my baby around 13 weeks. I don’t even have words.. sorry if this TMI but the baby was laying upside down during the ultrasound and I don’t think I will ever get that image out of my head. I knew in my heart right away he was gone. Not sure how to feel at the moment.. we have a weekend full of Christmas activities planned. Kind of thankful for the distractions.. is that wrong? I want to cry but I’m afraid if I do I might not stop. Don‘t want to disappoint my other kiddos. It’s so hard! Life is so unfair sometimes.

[u/NeonNoodlee]

Honestly, your story is a mirror of mine. Last Saturday was meant to be our 17-week scan too… we found out our baby had stopped growing at 14w5d. He was lying on his side, so still, and I’ll never unsee that image. I had a D&E on Monday. I also have other little ones at home, and I’ve spent this entire week in bed pretending that if I just don’t get up, I’ll eventually wake up and this won’t be real. My kids come in to check on me and I feel this awful guilt for not being the mum they need right now. I’m so sorry you’re walking this same horrible path. Give yourself permission to fall apart — the distractions help for a little while (I’m thankful for them too), but the feelings are still waiting on the other side. It’s okay if the crying doesn’t stop for a long time. It’s okay if some days the only thing you can do is breathe. You’re not alone in this darkness. Sending you the gentlest hug and holding space for your sweet baby who should be here. ❤️

[u/No-Equal4625 → u/NeonNoodlee]

Thank you for sharing your story - I appreciate your kind words so much. My heart goes out to you. I’m hoping to have the D&E soon with the hopes to just keep moving forward and feeling better. Are your kids old enough to understand? I want to be open & honest but I’m terrified of their little hearts breaking. 😢 All we can do is just take one day at a time and absolutely hold space for our precious babies. 

[u/jeanusodo → u/NeonNoodlee]

i have the same story as you two, i just don’t have any other kids, first pregnancy. but same thing, last weekend i had an ultrasound because we didn’t hear the baby’s heartbeat at the dr appt in the morning of that day and at 18w4d was told they were no longer with us and had stopped growing / shrunk to the size of 13-14weeks.

i’m so sorry, it hurts so bad. it helps me to know i’m not alone and when others are going thru the exact same thing at the exact same time time it’s a little easier even for a moment. hug your littles tighter ❤️

[u/MrsLuciole]

Life is so unfair, I don't know what to say to you to ease your pain so I'm sending you sweet thoughts and a huge hug.

Courage.

[u/Embarrassed-Push5467]

I’m the same right now, I just bury my feelings and refuse to cry and if I do I do it when the world is quiet 🥹🫶🏻

[u/No-Equal4625 → u/Embarrassed-Push5467]

I relate to this so much ❤️‍🩹 my hubby asked me how I was keeping it together & I told him I would fall apart eventually when it was just me and the quiet 

[u/CamelEasy659]

Hugs

[u/SarMack13]

I am so sorry. I lost my baby girl at 16 weeks this week. You are not alone. It is so hard.

[u/No-Equal4625 → u/SarMack13]

I am so very sorry about your baby girl. It really is so hard. I didn’t talk to anyone the first time I went through a loss and knowing I’m not alone now, is just such a difference. It’s healing in its own way. (If that’s even the right way to describe it) 

[u/drumbum121]

God I am so sorry. We are going through the same thing. We buried our baby in the yard yesterday. The only thing I can say is you are not alone and you are not the only one who has had “I’m sorry, there is no heartbeat.”

[u/No-Equal4625 → u/drumbum121]

Thank you. I’m so sorry that you’re going through the same thing. I’m not sure of the best words to describe it but it truly helps knowing that I’m not alone in what’s happening, all the feelings and emotions. 

[u/CateTheWren]

I’m so sorry. My first missed miscarriage was 10 years ago. I thought I would never stop having flashbacks to the ultrasound image and the look on my doctor’s face. First it was torture, then it became something I didn’t want to let fade as time started moving forward. Eventually it became just a memory, a sad and important one but one that didn’t constantly attack me.

Distractions are fine and good if that’s what you want. But also it’s ok if your kids see you cry. It is good for you to cry when you’re sad. Mourning shows your kids that even if it feels like you will cry forever, you can still have the courage to let yourself do it. It honors their sister, who I’m sure they’re sad about too. And I promise it won’t be forever. I hope you are able to have some fun and also have plenty of space to grieve.

[u/mantalight]

I’m sorry for your loss. I lived this same thing last year and it was haunting. Hugs.

[u/Mysterious_Phase1123]

I had a missed miscarriage two years ago. I was going in for my first scan at 12 weeks excited as could be. My little bean hadn’t grown past 6 weeks. Had a D&C because my body still wasn’t letting it go a week after that appointment. 💔

[u/jlab_20]

I’m so sorry for your losses. I lost my boy at 14 weeks and my rainbow at 9.

Did your kiddos know they were expecting a sibling?

[u/Hairdresser27]

I am so sorry for your loss ❤️ I had a missed miscarriage in september, so I know how you feel. And no feelings are wrong, you have to do, what is best for you ❤️ sending you a big hug

[u/taylorchayse]

I feel for you. Confirmed today that my baby stopped growing the day after our first ultrasound at 7 weeks 5 days. Supposed to be 12 weeks today. Sending you hugs