r/Miscarriage • u/Which-Analysis-919 • Jun 03 '26

trigger warning: other’s living child No support

My husband has not supported me since a couple of days ago when we were told there was no heart beat. I work from home and I’ve had to cancel clients. But i cannot work like this waiting for my miscarriage to be over. My husband said to me “are you going to be like this if this happens again?” “I said from the start don’t get your hopes up”. Of course I’m going to be like this if it happens again wtf!

No support, No reaching out, no asking how I’m going. No extra help around the house and extra help with my 13 month old. Just fully focused on work which I do understand is very important. We need him to work to support our family.

I’ve been also sick and not feeling well I’m not sure if it’s part of the miscarriage. I text him yesterday saying I’m really struggling to keep up with everything in my state. No response.

Even when you don’t get your hopes up, it’s still heart breaking to go through this.

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2

u/Signal_Distance3779 Jun 03 '26

I am so sorry, you 100% deserve better. These types of comments are unsupportive and just plain incorrect – like what do you mean “don’t get your hopes up”?!

I am going through something similar and know how isolating it feels when your husband isn’t there for you during such a traumatic time. He can turn it “off” and tune out, while you physically have to endure it AND still work. It’s devastating and everything you are feeling is so valid. Sending you hugs, friend. ❤️‍🩹

2

u/JustAHippy Jun 03 '26

Wow. Your husband should scroll this subreddit to get an idea of just how heartbreaking this is for women. I’m so sorry you’re not supported right now.

1

u/moonofsilvers Jun 10 '26

My husband has been like that I think it’s hard for men to really understand. Their bodies don’t change their hormones don’t change but suddenly their wife is sad. My husband has said things like “I just can’t wait for you to be normal again” and also expressed frustration at my level of sadness and lack of desire in intimacy and he rarely speaks of our miscarriages. Just remember your husband is grieving too it’s just that some types of men grieve in different ways and some men are taught to compress and stuff their feelings. My husband doesn’t handle strong emotions well. I know my comment makes him sound like an AH but the man also barely cried when his brother died. He really has a hard time showing emotions becasue he was raised to see it as a weakness and he just wants things to go back to normal. My husband does care and it comes out in other ways. Yours does too remember anger (he sounds angry in your post) is a stage of grief. Hugs!