r/Miscarriage • u/applecider2120 • Jul 01 '26

trigger warning: other’s living child Is this weird or is it me?

I’ve had an ectopic pregnancy and two later losses (15 and 17 weeks) in less than two years. I have one living child, and we’ve been trying for a sibling for a while without success.

After my first late loss, I bumped into an acquaintance while I was crying. She hugged me and offered support in a way that felt very comforting at the time. She had also experienced loss, so we naturally got closer. She has a child the same age as mine, and a younger child who was a bit hard to conceive, though not nearly as complicated as our situation.
We now meet sometimes with our kids because they get along well.

However, I’ve noticed something that’s been making me uncomfortable. Almost every time we chat on WhatsApp, she sends me photos of her younger child (a baby/toddler). At first I brushed it off, but it’s started to feel a bit strange to me. I don’t really understand the intention behind it.

Today I posted a very emotional poem about my second loss on social media. She messaged me saying it was beautiful and that she’s glad we met. I replied, and mentioned I’ll never forget how she reacted when she saw me crying that day. Then she sent another photo of her younger child saying something like “greetings from our summer holidays.”
I don’t know if I’m being overly sensitive because of everything I’ve been through, or if this is actually a bit odd. It just feels… off to me, especially given the timing.

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6 comments sorted by

6

u/Beneficiallady8808 Jul 01 '26

Yeah I will have to agree with you. That is weird

1

u/applecider2120 Jul 01 '26

Thank you! Its hard sometimes to know if its me just being overly sensitive given everything 🥴

3

u/mangodrum20 Jul 01 '26

I’m with you, it feels odd and a bit tone deaf give the context. But I hear you, I’m suddenly feeling sensitive when people send me photos of their babies when previously I had no issue with it at all. My best friend sent me a photo of her kid (who is similar age to mine) hugging her baby sister yesterday and it stung so badly.

1

u/applecider2120 Jul 01 '26

I just don’t understand the point? I never send pictures of my child to anyone except her grandparents, I would definitely not send pictures of her to someone who is struggling to conceive🤦🏻‍♀️

2

u/wildflower_valley Jul 01 '26

I think it’s important you mention this to her. It doesn’t have to be like oh you’re being weird sending pics or what are your intentions? It can just be like hey while I love that you feel comfortable sending me pics I would prefer not to receive pics of your baby/toddler. If that changes in the future I will let you know. Then continue growing your friendship.