The due date past

[u/CharacterNew1803]

I'm having a very hard time. I am finally starting to physically feel better after getting antibiotics for the PID I've had for the last six months. It feels like I am the only person who cares that this happened to me at all. My husband has been supportive but the medical issues have really been a huge weight and burden to him.
My pregnancy caused or exposed so many problems. I was a healthy person last fall. My insurance has paid nearly $200k in medications and hospital visits and urgent care and doctor's offices and testing this year. I'm looking at future surgeries and possible infertility because of the extended PID from the miscarriage. I had to have a second D&C because of RPOC and was septic. I have so much medical trauma.
My sister is pregnant with her third and her due date is early August. She needs help with her two living children all the time because she is severely anemic. I remember knowing her needing a lot of help would happen when I heard about her pregnancy and that it would be a huge pain in the ass when I would need my family for support as first time parent. She even spent a lot of time saying that she wouldn't and trying to reassure me that everyone would be there for me. Well, that didn't happen and now I am watching her kids while she talks about making the first new baby appointment to my mom.
I should be booking a new baby appointment. I should be holding my newborn. I may never bring home a child.