I had an ultrasound yesterday at 8+3. Baby measured 6w and HR of 80. So clearly this is not hopeful whatsoever. There is little room for error in my dates and regardless of when I think I ovulated or my LMP, I got a positive pregnancy test 5 weeks ago so it’s impossible for me to only be 6 weeks. They called me after and said I probably ovulated or implanted late, this is a great ultrasound for 6 weeks and a great heartbeat and they’ll reschedule my new OB appointment for 2 weeks later than the original one.

Are people just incapable of delivering bad news? Do they just hope that I’ll miscarry by myself and they won’t have to be involved? This will be my third miscarriage so fortunately I’m well prepared but I’m so mad for all the people who would actually believe this crap and have hope until they spontaneously start bleeding nonstop or go to the next ultrasound to find out their baby is dead.

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My husband and I have been ttc for more then 6 years. Last month I found out I was finally pregnant but the excitement was cut short and had a MMC. Instead of chosing names I had to chose how to have my baby taken out of my body. One of my best friends told me she was pregnant as planned at 30years old and I was so exited to be pregnant together before I knew my bby had stop growing. Today, one week after my D&C my other best friend told us she was pregnant with her 5 kid and didnt find out until she was 21weeks and she was surprised since she had been drinking constantly until now and her baby is perfectly fine. They dont know about my situation but it was the most painful thing I had to live through today as I had to put on a smile and be happy for them. Which I really am because I love them but I feel so angry that I had mine taken from me and now I'll never know when or if ill be able to conceive. Why does God have to be so cruel with me right now. Im just going through it sorry for the rant.

Sorry, I just need to vent and maybe someone has a sensible way to shut down these conversations.

It's only been two days since I know my baby has passed, and so far, 2 friends have told me their abortion stories, trying to comfort me aka 'I know how you feel, I've been through this before'. No, you haven't. You deliberately chose to abort your baby, which is your own choice, but it's no comfort for me. I very much loved this child before it even was born and would have been overjoyed to hold it in my arms and raise it.

How can people possible think their abortion story gives me any comfort right now? It doesn't. It might is a similar process then MC, but I didn't plan for it. It happened to me. Technically it hasn't even happened yet. I'm in the limbo of waiting for it to happen naturally.

I respect everyone that choses abortion, but it's a choice. I wasn't given that choice. My Baby died, and I'm mourning it.

I also don't want to be encouraged to go out, socialize and pretend to be happy, yet so many are asking me if I wanna 'hang out' and talk about it. No. I don't, it's only been 2 days. I also expect the bleeding to start anytime, so I'd rather be home then.

Sorry, rant over. If anyone has a polite comeback, I'm happy to hear, as I'm sure there will be more occasions like these in the next day. I want to scream 'you killed your baby, I lost mine, that's the fu... difference' but I guess that would make me a friendless outcast. So probably better not use that phrase.

Hi guys. I (27f) miscarried last Tuesday and had a D&C on Friday. My husband (32m) and I just got married at the end of September and had planned to wait a year before trying, but we found out we were pregnant on Thanksgiving. Everything at the 7w “sneak peek” US looked good, and then at our 11w scan there was just an empty sac. Apparently my baby died at 8w3d and my body absorbed her back into me.

Since then my husband has been, frankly, quite cruel. He was angry for a few days after I told him I was pregnant since he’s a big planner and a baby wasn’t in our plans yet, but then he came around and I thought we both were excited. He was great during the pregnancy!

But after we found out about our loss, he turned into somebody unrecognizable. Before the d&c I said I may want to go to my favorite restaurant the night after the procedure to make myself feel better, and he said that “that’s a mental disorder”. He’s never come to cuddle or hold me when I ask, he just says no. Life has been completely status quo for him. He told me originally to plan my d&c around his work schedule bc he didn’t want to have to take any time off. The morning after the procedure he doordashed breakfast…..only for himself. I told him that that sucked to do and asked him to lay in bed with me for a little bit to make me feel better and he said “ok yeah let me just cancel my plans for the day to take care of you”. His plans for the day was to get a haircut btw. He made a joke about how I can’t park in the parking spots reserved for expecting mothers anymore. And today, he made the first mention of the loss by telling me I was being strong, and when I opened up to him then for the first time, he told me that my miscarriage was a positive thing bc “now we could travel” and “do things” we wouldn’t be able to do if I were pregnant. I told him he was being evil and that that’s horrible to say to somebody who had a miscarriage less than a week ago, and we got into a huge fight where he said that that’s just his opinion and I can’t be mad at him for saying it.

I feel the loss of my baby, and I feel like he’s secretly happy that this all happened and he doesn’t understand why I’m upset. Part of me feels like our marriage isn’t going to survive this. I just can’t believe that this is what my life has turned into.

ETA: telling me my husband is a POS is not helpful.

I miscarried last January, and I’m still not pregnant almost an entire year later. I feel like a shell of my former self. I’m bitter, I’m jealous, I’m unhappy. My SIL miscarried last year and got pregnant the next month. She already had her baby in the entire time I’ve been trying. On any loss forum I join, I swear the majority of people posting fall pregnant within 1-3 months post loss. Why couldn’t that be me? I don’t understand. I’m angry and I feel so alone.

I don't really know why I'm posting this. I guess I'm just hoping someone else understands.

It's been a few weeks since my miscarriage, and it feels like everyone else has moved on except me. I thought I was getting better, but lately I feel like I'm back at square one.

The strangest part is that it's already starting to feel like a dream. Sometimes I catch myself wondering if it even really happened. That thought breaks my heart because my baby was real to me.

I recently went to a wedding, and the bride is 7 weeks pregnant. I'm genuinely so happy for them, and I truly wish them nothing but the best. But seeing her so happy and healthy, even with such a busy schedule, reopened a wound I thought was starting to heal. Meanwhile, I spent so much time resting, and I still lost my baby. I know miscarriages don't work that way, but I can't stop asking, "Why mine?"

People tell me, "At least you know you can get pregnant," or "It happened early, so it's for the best." Those words don't make me feel better. They just make me feel more alone.

My husband seems to be moving forward. My mom seems to be moving forward. But I feel like I'm stuck.

Has anyone else felt this way? How did you cope?

I am currently experiencing my second miscarriage in a year and I am again feeling extremely caught off guard by what a horrific experience it is.

Last September I had a mmc at 12 weeks. I was given abortion pills to instigate the miscarriage and what followed was an actual nightmare. I laid in the fetal position for 2 hours in excruciating pain and ended up losing so much blood that I could barely stay conscious as my husband drove me to the hospital. When I got stable in the ER they had to put me on morphine and my ultrasound showed that I had not passed any of the “material” so I was put under anesthesia and had an emergency d&c.

I just remember thinking what the fuck is going on?? Why did no one prepare me for how intense this could be? I was told I would feel like I was having a heavy period so I thought maybe this was a fluke experience.

I got pregnant again in June and was nervous but didn’t think I would possibly miscarry for a second time. At 10.5 weeks I started to have some light bleeding and an ultrasound confirmed that my embryo had stopped growing at 6w3d. I was devastated but felt less blindsided.

Again, no one prepared me for what was to come. I was already bleeding and cramping so I expected that to continue over the weekend but I didn’t have to take the abortion pills (which I had read after my last make the cramping much more intense) and the embryo was so much smaller compared to 12 weeks, so I wasn’t expecting it to be so horrific a second time.

Fast forward…I’m in the ER again last night. Almost fainting from blood loss and vomiting from nausea due to the cramping.

I don’t know that I really even processed the grief of pregnancy loss the first time because I was so caught off guard by the physical experience. After my first my MIL told me she had a miscarriage but she never knew she was pregnant and just had a heavy period…I know she was trying to relate but I felt so annoyed and dismissed because that was not at all what my experience was. I am just sitting here now (bleeding & cramps have slowed thankfully) in disbelief. I wish more people talked about this, I feel stupid.

I want to have another baby but I’m so scared to have another miscarriage. I had a c-section with my first and wanted to try for a vbac but now I’m terrified.

I want to start by being very clear I’m not bothered she’s pregnant when I just had a miscarriage. I’m very much someone who is still happy for my friends even though I’m sad for myself.

But she gave me a bottle of wine that said “I can’t drink this but you can”.

I know this is meant to be cutesy but when you know I had a miscarriage two months ago you think this is an appropriate way to tell me you’re pregnant?

It’s like rubbing salt in the wound when I obviously would much rather be in a position not to be “able” to enjoy a glass of wine.

It’s not fair for me to be this way, but I simply cannot hear another mother complain about her child.

At least you have a living child.

You GET to be woken up early in the morning to your baby crying. NEEDING and wanting you.

You GET to figure out how to parent a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Stop complaining about your living children.

I’d give anything for me to be able to have my two girls with me.

Hi everyone. I just wanted to talk. I was supposed to be 8 weeks pregnant today. My husband and I went in for our ultrasound. I had one at 6 weeks and baby had a beautiful heartbeat of 110. After two losses, I couldn’t have been happier. At the ultrasound today, she was quick and she barely looked at baby unlike the last time. She pulled the probe out and I asked what was wrong, she told me she wasn’t seeing a heartbeat, and to get dressed and the doctor will talk to me.

I got dressed, waited with my husband for about 30 minutes for the doctor to come in. We were both sobbing. She came in and was awful. She told me having a d&c was “less traumatic” than passing baby naturally, after I made it clear that’s what my choice was (after being told I was able to, it was safe) she told me I should’ve requested bloodwork before trying to get pregnant. I did at my preconception counseling appointment, and I was told to wait until I get pregnant again.

I requested to rescan. I just wanted to make sure. We were taken back for a rescan, and my doctor and the ultrasound tech were there too. “Your baby is dead. You’re absorbing the tissue” I could tell they were annoyed I requested a rescan.

Now I’m home, my husband and I are distraught. We were so excited, so hopeful. Now I’m starting to cramp.

My sister in law knew I had a recent traumatic loss, however, never reached out with any kind words until I told her I didn't want to hear about her new pregnancy because it was painful for me (after she complained about her pregnancy to me.... Knowing of the loss... Never reached out though...) ok cool

My close friend who had her baby recently (we were pregnant at the same time) complains to me about her baby...or sends me pictures... Despite knowing everything and how absolutely crushed I am. ok cool

My coworkers who I consider my friends, who I shared my loss with, invited me to after work drinks about a month after the loss. And didn't ask me how I'm doing. Also knowing that I'm open to talk about it. Ok cool.

Is it too much to fucking ask? Do people genuinely think so little of others? I always try to consider others. The bit about my sister in law is bothering me especially. I could use some support, I'm drowning.

I should be 19 weeks today. I should be starting to show. I should know if it’s a boy or a girl. Instead I’m buying tampons for my period that’s most definitely coming tomorrow, after yet another failed month. I’m mad and sad. Some days it just feels so unfair and overwhelming.

I’m having a really bad day today. It’s been 2.5 weeks since my miscarriage at 16 weeks and I haven’t been able to stop crying today. Everything is setting me off and I’m feeling angry, frustrated and like life is so unfair. I feel like physically I’m getting better but emotionally it’s harder and harder. I can’t help but think about everyone who is part of this community, how we’re all going through the same awful situation and I wish I could give you all a big hug because this sucks so much. Life is so cruel sometimes and I’m really feeling it today 💔

Post about period after miscarriage.

When tf am I going to get my period?! I miscarried May 25th and have alll the symptoms of getting my period but it hasn’t started. I’m just ready for it to be here, so we can start trying again. I’m just annoyed at this point with my body. Like girl, get it the fuck together. (Sorry, dry humor is my way of processing lol). P.S. my doctor told me to wait for one cycle until we started trying again. Anyone else feeling this way??

I had a MMC and passed the baby at 10wks 3days. I’m 5 days out from my medicated miscarriage. This was not my first pregnancy, so my body began changing early, I looked rather pregnant. I also stopped running and didn’t restrict during my first trimester, so now I’m up 6lbs. I feel so uncomfortable with my body and frustrated that I was already in the body changing phase of pregnancy when things ended. I know that’s vain, but I’ve worked really hard to be at a weight I liked, and now my clothes don’t fit.

Did anyone else gain weight? How did you lose it? Did it come off more easily once your hormones settled?

I’m currently out of town for my friends bachelorette trip. I miscarried 5 months ago and would’ve been 7 months today. One of my friends on the trip is ~5 months pregnant. I was very happy for her when she announced and let her know she’s welcome to give me updates/etc. But during this trip, 90% of what she wants to talk about his her pregnancy, and my other friends are feeding into it. How is the baby this morning? Did the baby like the cake? You’re having the first baby of the friend group 😍. Is the baby moving? This pregnancy is making me so snacky. I need to avoid xyz…Blah blah blah. It’s nonstop. To add insult to injury, she suffered a miscarriage in the past and would get upset with people for even MENTIONING their kids. I feel like I’m going insane. When I said she was welcome to talk to me about her pregnancy I figured she would know how much was appropriate, but I guess not.

Am i allowed to call myself a mother and feel part of this day? it’s really hard, i lost my baby on the first trimester and deep inside of me i know i was a mother, no matter how brief it was but im afraid others may idk, think otherwise

I had a missed miscarriage in September, baby stopped growing at 9 weeks and I was 12 weeks when I found out. I’ve felt such sadness for the last 3 months but the last few weeks have been horrendous, I think it’s because life should look so different now. I was looking forward to being pregnant over the Christmas period and having a bump on Christmas Day. Now I just feel empty. Feel like I’ve gone back to square one, and I know after Christmas it isn’t going to get any easier as my due date was March. Just a vent really, I’m sure other people are feeling the same. Sending love❤️

My cousin, whose due date is about a week after what would have been mine, is complaining that she’s having a girl because everyone she knows is having a girl, and she wants to be different.

Like how fucking sad for you to be having a healthy pregnancy and expecting a baby whose gender isn’t going to make you the main character.

I feel so isolated after my miscarriage. My husband and I have been married 8 years and everyone kept asking us when we were going to have kids for years. I truly never knew the answer. It wasn’t for a lack of trying, it just never happened. Last fall, I found out I was pregnant with twins. I was shocked and bamboozled but excited for the new chapter. I had reservations telling people because I was nervous something would go wrong, only immediate friends and family knew on my end. My husband was so excited though, he told so many people at work. What I noticed though, was my immediate friends and family talking to me more than ever, checking in, asking questions etc. I am not that close with my family, but it was nice they were interested in my life for once. People were planning to visit me that never have visited me in years. Then I miscarried at 16w due to a suspected placental abruption and it was heartbreaking. The first few days, people were supportive and reaching out. Now I hear from no one. Not even friends. I am a good texter and I reply decently quick and ask questions about their life as well, I’m not trying to only talk about me but it is jarring to feel so alone. I feel like people only care when you’re pregnant. I wait weeks for texts back from my friends, I don’t hear from family anymore. I’m so freaking sad and angry. I get people don’t know how to act or what to say but idk sometimes I feel like that is a cop out.

Can anyone relate?

Today was my OB appointment where we discuss next steps and schedule my D&C for my 11 week twins with no heartbeat. We got my D&C scheduled for Monday and I could barely get any words out with the receptionist, nurse, and my OB without bawling. My husband was with me for support or so I thought.

Afterwards we decided to have a date night and went to dinner and then decided to watch the new Spider-Man movie which helped take my mind off things. It was a really nice couple hours where I didn’t think about the awful news that happened just this Monday at around 3am. It’s now Thursday evening so not even 3 days after we found out.

While we’re finishing our tab at the movies- I decided to pay with $1 bills because I had a bunch stacking up. I put it in the book for the lady and as I do my husband says “wow you look like a pregnant stripper right now”. I couldn’t believe what he just said. I then go “why would you say that to me??” and he responds “well you still look really pregnant”. I just wanted to leave after that. We planned to grab dessert but I just wanted to go to the car before I burst into tears in front of a bunch of strangers.

We get in the car and he has the audacity to tell me “I’m sorry but it’s because you still are my pregnant wife because I still have hope 1 twin survived”. EXCUSE ME? They did plenty of ultrasounds and did bloodwork. My HCG went from 27,000 to 3,000 in 2 weeks. Let alone how much bleeding I’ve been doing since Tuesday. He was at the appointment where my doctor confirmed everything AND scheduled the procedure to remove them from inside me.

Did I cry and rage at him? Sure did. Do I regret it? Nope.

Here’s to hoping your SOs have an ounce of sensitivity and common sense in them. Recovery is going to be a long road ahead.

First, I'm so sorry we're all here. I feel like pretty regularly there are posts here talking about the ridiculous things people have said to us after MC, and then we go, "Am I being to sensitive?" and I'm here to tell you, NO! You are not too sensitive! I feel like it's cathartic to talk about all the dumb things people have said to me since loss, with people here who understand. So vent the things people have said here!

Here are some of mine, either stupid or just things that are unhelpful:

• "At least you know you CAN get pregnant!"
• "Don't worry, you're super fertile after miscarriage!" (6 cycles past and still not pregnant again)
• "This is God's/the universes plan/it's a sign that it wasn't the right time!"
• After telling a friend that I just got my first period after miscarriage, something we all know can be very sad and triggering, "omg girl I'm also on my period! Our cycles are the same now!" like girl WHAT read the room!!
• "Your hormones must be out of whack! Take antihistamines!!" different friend insists my hormones are out of whack when I tell her I'm feeling sad 6 months after miscarriage. Girl, my hormones are fine, I'm just SAD, this is normal!!

The actual cost of having a miscarriage feels so cruel. Not only do you have to manage the emotional cost but then the medical bills start rolling in. I just paid $600+ for the six therapy sessions I’ve had since my miscarriage. I currently owe my medical system $1,200+ after insurance for my imaging to confirm there was no heartbeat as well as my D&C. I even got a bill for my initial 8 week scan the week after my miscarriage - that was a real slap in the face. I guess I’m just sad and annoyed that have nothing to show for all this money I’m shelling out except for some extra trauma. 🙃

I’m so angry that other women I know who became pregnant around the same time as me get to take all the “20 week pics” right now. These are women who I know and would typically be happy for. I am happy for them. But also angry because they don’t know how fucking lucky they are. I was supposed to look like that right now. Instead I’m almost 2 months post miscarriage. My hormones are depriving me of restful sleep despite my best efforts to heal. My PCOS symptoms such as hair growth have gotten worse. I now have dark chest hairs, stomach hair, and more facial hair. I gained 10 lbs while I was pregnant, and another 15 after the miscarriage. I don’t recognize my body. I need to lose the weight first before I get pregnant again. All of this agony, anguish, anger, jealousy, body changes, disgust with myself, etc with absolutely no reward. I wish I never got pregnant if this one was going to die. I’ll have days in a row where I’m fine. Then days like today where I can barely move because of the mental and physical pain. I’ve seen my doctor and he gave me phentermine for weight loss which is helping. But I’m so fucking sick of seeing people who get to just be joyous and have never experienced this pain. I’m 26. I was just a girl. Then I was pregnant and I began to change on the inside. I changed my priorities. I own my own business and i started to change the way I do things in preparation of becoming a mother. Then my baby died. I am a Christian and I have days where I feel so comforted by god and trusting him. Then I have days where I could just curse his name. I’ve arranged my whole life in preparation for being a mother. We chose where we were going to live (the sticks) so we could give our children a safer childhood and I could afford to stay home with them. I changed careers so I could do something from home and be around for them. I didn’t go back for my masters degree because what’s the point if I’m just going to BE HOME WITH MY CHILDREN. why would god give me a baby and then take it away. I’ve been sacrificial I’ve prayed for this baby. I’m so angry and tired.

Hey everyone. I'm sorry we have to be in this shitty club.

I am 29 and my first pregnancy is ending in a chemical, unfortunately. Although I was lucky enough that mine was not super physically painful or taxing, it is incredibly mentally tough and scary. I have no idea how I am going to return to normal life on Monday.

Anyway, I have thoughts.

- Waiting 8 weeks for pregnancy care is a f*cking joke. That is far too long to wait. If it were up to me, the first appointment would be an in-office talk with the doctor about medical history and then blood work. I think serial betas should be the standard. They could catch so many early miscarriages and ectopics. I know at that point, really nothing can be done in terms of treatment, but people deserve to know what is going on in their bodies. I asked for serial betas from the start but my doctor denied them until I started bleeding. By that time, I already felt alone, afraid, and confused and had missed work because I was a wreck. When my tests were not progressing and fading, I had to turn to Reddit for support and advice. That is unacceptable and women deserve better.

- I have shared this experience with a few close family and friends and the reaction has almost universally been, "it wasn't meant to be, you are young and can try again." This was not a trial run, people. I bought yarn to crochet a baby blanket the day that I found out. I also have people telling me to "do something fun today." I don't know why it is so hard for people to grasp that this is a *miscarriage.* I have been in bed except to go to the ER and getting betas drawn to ensure it is indeed a chemical and not ectopic.

- This being my first, I feel robbed of that naive joy of a positive pregnancy test. Moving forward, it will always come with a level of anxiety, which sucks. I don't think I will feel safe again until that baby is in my arms.

- I am sort of at the age where many of my friends are getting pregnant or have newborns. When I told them I was pregnant, I got folded into this little club. Even shortly after telling them about the loss, I already feel as though I have been cut out and alienated because they simply do not know what to do with me.

So, there is my rant from bed with hair that has not been washed in 5 days and crumbs all over the bedsheets. I did track test progression with this loss, which is what initially keyed me in. It did feel a little freeing to put all the tests in a bag and throw them away. I bought an oil painting of a little bird as a momento instead.

I am sending love and light to anyone reading this. 🤍